Ime, INTJs need time to digest these things. And yes, they become paranoid, unreasonable almost but you know what...they just need time to do this. Doesn't mean they're right in their actions, but it's understandable.
I remember disappointing my INTJ last year...in a way that broke his trust. We've been together for a long time and he's incredibly tolerant and non-judgemental, but that particular thing just caused insecurity in him, which caused him to not act as his natural self (and he was justified in his reaction i have to admit). What I did was appologize profusely, and explain to him how I came to do this thing, and why to me it wasn't a red flag, but that I would definitely not repeat the same mistake in the future, as I could see that to him it was important, and that was enough for me. He was reasonable enough to see that I meant it, but his feelings and trust took longer to restore. He became more possessive and controlling for a while, and I let him, as I knew he needed it. At the same time, I knew that he was understanding and reasonable enough for this to be temporary. I focused all my attention on restoring 'us', made him feel safe and loved once more, reminded him of why we were together, or so I tried. It's still a sensitive spot today, but no longer an issue, we're back to the way we were. He knows that I love him and that I wouldn't intentionally hurt him. Knowing and feeling isn't the same though. Give him time to harmonize the two and show him that you're willing to discuss this, to work at it, that *he* matters to you, that this relationship is too important to you to let it go, and explain to him why you did what you did, and that you can in fact see his point of view, without getting defensive