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  1. #11
    Member Fingers Superstar's Avatar
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    My ability to hold my tongue has gotten better as I've grown older, but I think it's more important to say things that no one else will, I have a strongly held principle of sometimes you just have to say what no one has the guts to.

    But I'm still critical of people, just to keep them on their toes and stop them from slacking, truth is more important than anything else.

  2. #12
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    I've found that criticism comes naturally to me and I've worked fairly hard to learn to be tactful. Criticism should be constructive and delivered in an effective manner otherwise it defeats the point of delivering it in the first place. Blunt honesty isn't valued which I find frustrating, but there is a certain amount of responsibility given to the speaker in their delivery. I find myself actively holding back my entire personality when it comes to communication. That is intellectually tiring, but in the end my life is less dramatic because people are less offended. Most people can't handle brutal honesty and that's reality.

    I come from a family of Ni dominance, but split on T/F. We have two INFJ's, an ENTJ, an XNTJ (myself), and an IXTJ. Family gatherings are a challenge...
    Last edited by Oddly Refined; 02-05-2010 at 09:56 AM. Reason: Adding information
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fingers Superstar View Post

    But I'm still critical of people, just to keep them on their toes and stop them from slacking, truth is more important than anything else.
    Thatss fine with me as long as youre their boss. Otherwise Id think twice before opening my mouth because the truth can also go the othe way around which Ive found INTJ to have problems with. In my opinion INTJ is the most socially inept of the 16 MBti types.

  4. #14
    That's my name biotch! JoSunshine's Avatar
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    I just have to make an observation that posters keep refencing "the truth". If it is something like a person saying, "two plus two is five" the truth is "No, the answer is four." I do believe that correcting something that is plainly incorrect is generally constructive and if the person receiving it is offended, it is probably an insecurity at play.

    However, I suspect (perhaps incorrectly, I'm sure you will tell me if I am wrong ) that much of the "truth" you speak of is subjective and therefore an opinion or theory. I think much of the frustration for non-INTJs is feeling directed by the INTJ (you should do it this way becuase it is more efficient - but I like doing it the way becuase it's more fun - That's dumb.) or belittled by the INTJ for having a differing point of view (see previous example).

    I had and INTJ SO for 9 years. We got along great for the most part, but his lack of tact and inability to just say, "OK do it your way" without micro-managing and criticizing definitely took a toll on our relationship. Of course, I am sure he would say my lack of "logic" was frustrating.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. " - Dr. Seuss
    I can't spell...get over it

    Slightly ENFJ, totally JoSunshine
    Extroverted (E) 52.5%........Introverted (I) 47.5%
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    Feeling (F) 55.56%............Thinking (T) 44.44%
    Judging (J) 51.43%............Perceiving (P) 48.57%

  5. #15
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    My family always placed a good deal of importance on manner/tact/savoir faire. I developed it rather naturally and early thanks to this.

    I also realized that I do not ultimately know when I may require the assistance of another, and thus it would be wise to remain on pleasant terms with a large number of people. Since I'm not exactly a Fe adept, holding my tongue at times is pretty effective at preventing fallout, at the very least.
    Function Activity:
    Ni > Te > Ti = Fi > Ne > Si = Fe > Se

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoSunshine View Post
    However, I suspect (perhaps incorrectly, I'm sure you will tell me if I am wrong ) that much of the "truth" you speak of is subjective and therefore an opinion or theory. I think much of the frustration for non-INTJs is feeling directed by the INTJ (you should do it this way becuase it is more efficient - but I like doing it the way becuase it's more fun - That's dumb.) or belittled by the INTJ for having a differing point of view (see previous example).

    I had and INTJ SO for 9 years. We got along great for the most part, but his lack of tact and inability to just say, "OK do it your way" without micro-managing and criticizing definitely took a toll on our relationship. Of course, I am sure he would say my lack of "logic" was frustrating.
    Your observations appear to be correct.
    Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
    -Alice in Wonderland

  7. #17
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    It took me a very long time to understand and utilize tact. On occasion I still lose my discretion when I shouldnt.

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