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  1. #1
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
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    Default How do you deal with average-healthy FPs?

    This new thread in the personal-thread-section was inspiring me. So, let's talk about behavior and about misunderstandings with other types.

    For me it's really hard to find common ground with the FP-types. When I see them act, they seem too irrational for me, too emotional in situations, where I cannot work with strong emotions. And it really depends on type, because with Ts I normally don't have this problems. With older or very healthy FPs this problem isn't existent, but especially the younger ones are hard to handle for me.

    I reflected about the situations, I met in my life, and I recognize, that I cannot work with Fi. Up to now. Experiences:

    ESFPs: Getting emotional, somewhat hysterical, and react in a very very loud way on critique (the same critique a T-type took very objectively)

    ENFPs: Confusing, wild, no consistency in relationship-aspects of life, big fluctuation of moods, emotional manipulation

    ISFPs: Sometimes seem to have a "silent aggression" by unknown reason, which shows in avoiding even constructive interactions

    INFPs: Avoiding (not really a big problem, but also an annoying one)



    All in all I seem to have problems to understand their "thinking", to know about the aspects, which make their mood change and about the amount of change, an (for me) small event can make. So I come to underrate it, and that lets me walking into the cutter.

    Questions for the other NTs:

    1. Did you experience the same? Did you also have/had problems dealing with that?
    2. How can I solve this?
    ** Upgrading my english **
    Corrections for my language are willingly seen


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  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I desperatly keep steering the conversation away from my feelings and such whenever the topic comes up... living in a continual state of terror :horor:

    Really, as long as they don't try to drag Fi out of me, I'm fine with them... they can be fun... I think it's the Pness
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
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    i love xSFPs. they don't care about anything; they're like good looking puppets.

    xNFPs, not so much. they make me feel obligated to feel.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Sever all ties. Think pragmatically for once in your life people.

  5. #5
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Beware my silent aggression.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  6. #6
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Give them giant bear hugs until they're afraid of you.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  7. #7
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    Hmm

    Yes I have actually but also had problems with INFJs and ENFJs however I'll stay on topic

    INFPs - Known a lot in my life, seem to be drawn to me then something irks them they dip in emotionally and dip out again, its irritating and they seem inconsistent in how they feel about me, I usually get fed up with their attitude and leave

    ENFPs - Seems wonderful at first, until you disagree, they don't seem to understand the way INTPs debate at all and take things way too personally, think the way they feel about things is right and hard to convince them otherwise

    ESFPs - No issues

    ISFPs - Can be difficult to communicate with, 2 introverts with very different ideas of what a conversation should be about but I've never had any issues with this type

  8. #8
    wholly charmed Spartacuss's Avatar
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    The ISFP and INFPs I've known have been great.
    With the INFPS, it's been . . . interesting. We are drawn together and discover a lot of similarity. But there's definitely, like Unique describes, a game of retreat and revisit that happens - Even with my INFP little brother.
    It's fine though because I'm like that too, so I understand it and can cut them some slack. As far as relationships, it can be frustrating or fun. or both.

    The ISFPs help me to appreciate things I naturally neglect but find indispensable once I've discovered them. I like how easy and free and down to earth our times together are.

    One ESFP I know - we get along fine, but it's always in small doses.
    Ti (43); Ne (41.8); Te (33.7); Fi (30.5); Ni (27.5); Se (24.7); Si (21.5); Fe (17.3)
    The More You Know the Less You Need. - Aboriginal Saying

  9. #9
    man-made neptunesnet's Avatar
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    OH!

    *clutches heart*

    We are soooo difficult.

    Fix us! Help us!

    We need to be dealt with!



    _____________
    The only thing I feel I can contribute here is my relationship with ENTPs. Which is pretty hit in real life and rather miss on this forum.

    NPs can all connect with the mystical forces of Ne. I have eyerolled at Ti's need for precision and my ENTPs have stumbled over a Fi value without much consideration for my feelings. Somehow, for us those things can be overlooked once I'm honest and straightforward about the value they stepped on and what I expect from them as friends and they're considerate when it comes to my casual thoughtless. We don't usually run into too many problems. I blame Ne. The only real issue with ENTPs (NTPs?) is they, like whatever said, steer the conversation away from feelings

    Also, don't try to assign logical reasons to why Fi users react/act a certain way. It's more a moral system that is highly subjective and individualistic. I have been guilty of the dipping in and out as an INFP. I truly only do it when I'm not sure if I can trust someone or I feel there's a reason not to trust someone. Most of the NTP/NFP struggle comes from misunderstanding. The NTP does something unintentionally that contrasts with the INFP moral system. The INFP is deeply hurt, but it isn't vocal about why she is. Instead of addressing it she "dips" in and out to see if the NTP will show any more signs of distrust or, what I use to call it, "incompatibility." It's really unfortunate that this happens, but I think that's the biggest problem for NTPs and NFPs in communicating with each other.


    Maybe it's a better idea for the OP to ask FPs instead of NTs those questions.
    Other NTs won't know about Fi, you silly rabbit!


  10. #10
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
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    Seems that some NTPs experience the same situations. Okay, so let's find a solution. I want to sleep more quietly, when NFPs come closer

    Hey, neptunesnet, thank you for telling us the other side. So it seems, that the NFPs recognize a similar change in the NTP like the NTP in the NFP?

    The NFP recognizes a change in that, which his/her expected of the other, and the NTP recognizes a change about the trust, the closeness and the reliability of the NFP. Does this description fit it?

    Well, I want to learn to handle that. Today I've learned in the NF-Forum, that ENFPs can be really manipulating and vindictive, when someone does something wrong. He needn't recognize that, but the ENFP changes his/her mind instead of speaking about this problem. This holds especially for younger and less healthier ENFPs, and for some INFPs also.

    Okay, that's the situation. Personally I found the solution to give a direct feedback on this behavior, saying, what I see (growing distance). One time I did that, but the ENFP said, she recognized that "just intellectually". In this situation I had not the personal power, I had in everyday life, but it shocked me, how equal it was for the ENFP. So, I try to learn to give direct feedback, and say, that I don't want to play games like that.

    The second strategy I want to implement is the shutdown of my own feelings, when I do something with NFPs. They can hurt too easily.

    _____________

    The NTPs, who have problems like that with NFPs:
    Do you have experience with "breaking" this NFP-habit?

    The NFPs:
    How should we react on these games?
    ** Upgrading my english **
    Corrections for my language are willingly seen


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