That's interesting because my ex (ENTP) used to think that I was playing games with him during one of those notorious speed bump stages in our relationship. After he had expresseed that to me during a pretty heated verbal fight, I quickly found my voice. I couldn't believe he thought I was manipulating him mostly because it was so the opposite of what I was actually doing. Eventually, I explained to him that I didn't feel like he respected my morals and in not respecting those I didn't feel like he respected me, which was why I was withdrawing. And that threw him for a loop. We worked it out in the end, though. Luckily. Although in retorspect I feel like he may have started to hold his tongue way more than he had to in his attempt not to offend me.Okay, that's the situation. Personally I found the solution to give a direct feedback on this behavior, saying, what I see (growing distance). One time I did that, but the ENFP said, she recognized that "just intellectually". In this situation I had not the personal power, I had in everyday life, but it shocked me, how equal it was for the ENFP. So, I try to learn to give direct feedback, and say, that I don't want to play games like that.
Because of that relationship, I've learned to be more vocal about what's important to me and when someone I've begun caring for decides to stomp all over that. I've also learned to understand that NTPs don't connect so many things to their personal identity as we NFPs do. That one was probably the hardest lesson to learn. I give lotttttsssss of feedback now. Just in case.
Yeah. I figured that most NTPs rarely address feelings and emotions (like mine did) not because they're heartless and insensitive but because they don't really know how to handle them. Ironically, if anyone is able to help you guys understand your feelings I think it would definitely be a Fi user. We do the dirty work so that you don't have to.The second strategy I want to implement is the shutdown of my own feelings, when I do something with NFPs. They can hurt too easily.
How should we react on these games?
I wouldn't call it a game! That suggests to me that we're toying with you when we're doing anything but. We want to make sure that you respect us, which means "respecting our values," and the dipping is just a defense mechanism we use when we want to gauge where our boundaries are with you.
I think the best way to "react to these games" is to be considerate when we're telling you what's important to us. Don't write it off as overly sensitive and silly because we'll generally be able to tell that you're judging us. Keep in mind, though, that this is a two-way street. The INFP (that's the only type I can actually speak for here. sorry about that.) should be more trusting and open up enough to tell the NTP what her values are and when they've been violated. But, you also have to give her reason enough to open up to you.