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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Hey, what the hell onemoretime, I would have opened this topic much more efficiently, why didn't you let ME do it? Now our group is screwed!
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by JHBowden View Post

    Seriously though, if we're in a chaotic situation and someone, another ENTJ maybe, brings balance to the force by nudging things in the right direction, I'm not going to object-- less hassle for me, right? I hate hassles.

    Better question is what to do when a leader does something stupid, or if someone is taking charge in a casual situation that does not call for leadership. The first question depends on whether you like the person, whether you'll look bad if the person in question screws up, i.e. what your general goals are. In the second case, just make fun of the person in a friendly way for being an idiot.

    ditto.

  3. #13
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Hey, what the hell onemoretime, I would have opened this topic much more efficiently, why didn't you let ME do it? Now our group is screwed!
    Fortune favors the bold

  4. #14
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    What's your reaction when they get into "one of those situations" (sorry guys), and they're trying to take charge when it's not asked for? Mine is usually to make it very clear that they have no authority at the time, and suggest alternative routes to achieving mutually beneficial goals.
    That doesn't work with my EXTREMELY J ENFJ mother *sigh*. Usually I just say nothing to her, staring her down until she changes the subject. It works about 90% of the time.

    Eg: I originally decided to do a liberal arts degree because I intended to go into 2nd level teaching. About a month ago I decided I didn't want to teach anymore, so I switched from a joint major programme (English and Music) to a pure Music one. My mother went completely ape-shit at this point and was giving out to me for ages. When I wouldn't reply to her she changed the topic to clothes (she's seen something somewhere she thought I'd like or something ) and when I still wouldn't reply she asked what arrived for me in the post that day (I'd ordered lots of cds online which finally arrived ) and then ensued a great conversation! If it was anyone else though I just would have told them to F off and leave me the hell alone ages ago though
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    What's your reaction when they get into "one of those situations" (sorry guys), and they're trying to take charge when it's not asked for? Mine is usually to make it very clear that they have no authority at the time, and suggest alternative routes to achieving mutually beneficial goals.
    The only reason we ''take charge'' is because nobody else does. We see how things could be done as fast or as best as possible so nobody is wasting more time/effort than they need to. We don't NEED to lead, if someone else has more experience and shows competence then I will gladly obey them. If someone has a great idea, it will be listened to and executed. You know what's REALLY annoying... when people assume we're 'bossy' because we know how to get things done and aren't partial to shitty work or wasting time. You'll all be much happier if you just realize we have a much better idea of how things work... you're like children who bitch because ''mommy'' wants them to get to bed on time so they aren't cranky in the morning, then you try to ''stand your ground'' with trivial bullshit reasons like ''but i'm not tired!!'' or ''you can't make me!1!!''... ''oh, you aren't?...well, get to sleep moron or life will be a lot more difficult for you in the future''. Long story short, be quiet.

  6. #16
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silencio View Post
    The only reason we ''take charge'' is because nobody else does. We see how things could be done as fast or as best as possible so nobody is wasting more time/effort than they need to. We don't NEED to lead, if someone else has more experience and shows competence then I will gladly obey them. If someone has a great idea, it will be listened to and executed. You know what's REALLY annoying... when people assume we're 'bossy' because we know how to get things done and aren't partial to shitty work or wasting time. You'll all be much happier if you just realize we have a much better idea of how things work... you're like children who bitch because ''mommy'' wants them to get to bed on time so they aren't cranky in the morning, then you try to ''stand your ground'' with trivial bullshit reasons like ''but i'm not tired!!'' or ''you can't make me!1!!''... ''oh, you aren't?...well, get to sleep moron or life will be a lot more difficult for you in the future''. Long story short, be quiet.
    Short story long, develop some Fe and figure out how to modify your approach based on the social context

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post

    The person in question just has a meddlesome personality, and doesn't know when to stay out of things unless it's made blindingly clear.
    Sounds like this person has boundary issues.

    If you want them to stop being so meddlesome, try to figure out what is causing them to act that way. Are they really insecure? Do they think you will like them more if they consistently help you? Do they not trust you to make good decisions on your own? Maybe they just want to be kept updated, people won't just trust your decisions if you never tell them what they are based on or show them that you put a lot of thought into them.

    This is what happened to me with an overly meddlesome ESFJ I worked with. I just started keeping her in the loop about how things were going and giving her small details about why I wanted things done a certain way and she backed off cause she started to trust me more.

  8. #18
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    What's your reaction when they get into "one of those situations" (sorry guys), and they're trying to take charge when it's not asked for? Mine is usually to make it very clear that they have no authority at the time, and suggest alternative routes to achieving mutually beneficial goals.
    Look. Your pants don't unzip themselves.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #19
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Look. Your pants don't unzip themselves.
    Yet.

  10. #20
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Yet.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

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