User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 30 of 30

  1. #21
    Playnerd Timeless's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    896

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Ne's the way I would prefer to connect to people: sharing ideas, talking about theories, invent nonsense stories and rhymes...
    Fe's the way that's expected in 'socializing'
    When interacting the Ne way, I feel recharged. When interacting the Fe way, I feel drained.

    There's this teacher in my school... we never "connected" in the usual way, asking about name, health, hobbies, children, students... Suddenly he asked me some questions about the vacuum. He has even never asked me "how are you doing" and I feel more connected to him than to my more talkative colleagues
    We know and appreciate each other. We don't have to say it.
    I relate to this post a bit more.

    My best friend (ESTJ) always loves to ask me "What if?" or "What would you do?" it was obviously something out of the norm or current events. It made him laugh every single time because he never thought of it.

    Even when he saw that zombie I made video in this forum he was cracking up.

    It's like playing with the imagination or anything creative is always better then sameness.

  2. #22
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Posts
    3,187

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I was reading another thread in this forum which mentioned the possibility that ENTP's might underestimate the importance of Ti, while INTP's might tend to underestimate the importance of Ne.

    I don't think that I underestimate the value of my Ne (I know it's my way of connecting with people and the outside world, and it's also good to get out of my own head). But, one of my problems seems to be actually being able to CONNECT with people when I do use my Ne. I have found that when I'm talking to another primary or secondary Ne user, we usually connect extremely well - but that only includes 4 of the 16 types (and not a large percentage of the overall population). With the other 12 types, I don't connect very well. I want to connect with people more often, but I find that instead of my Ne "connecting", it feels more like the other person is "missing" what I'm saying - or I'm "missing" my target. I can almost use the analogy of swinging a baseball bat. When I use Ne with other Ne users, I connect with the baseball and the baseball goes far. When I use my Ne with others, it's like I just can't quite seem to hit the ball. I've learned to not care as much. If I feel that I "missed" in a given situation, then I just move on and not let it bother me too much (there are times, when I choose to actually reflect on it, that it seems a bit sad, pathetic, and depressing) - basically, I've learned to live with it.

    But, I think that I have gotten to a point where I more or less "expect" to miss - I might think, "I'd like to join in and conversate with that group" (whether it be friends/acquaintances/or a business situation), but then I'll just think, "95% chance it will be awkward or they won't get me, so I'm just going to go on my way".

    So, the question is: how do you use your Ne to connect with "the masses"? In particular, the 8 "S" types? When you know that you don't have much in common with a group or an individual, but it's still important (or otherwise desirable) to connect with them, how do you do it? Tips? Pointers? What if you start to use Ne and you get the vibe that they aren't getting you or they think you're eccentric? Do you continue to use your Ne or do you try to mix in some other function(s) to meet them half way?
    I'll paint this picture using my limited knowledge about cognitive functions, and my experiences with interacting with people in ventrilo:

    Ne is an extraverted function, and as such, it is a function well suited for interacting socially with other people. In fact, I'd say all extraverted functions do this so well, that when they are in the dominant position (like with an ENTP high on Ne), their primary purpose is in interacting with and connecting with MULTIPLES of people, not individuals. Introverted functions are just the opposite in social orientation, and focus more in depth and quality than on breadth and quantity of personal relationships.

    For me, when I go into ventrilo, I've learned quite a few things about how to temporarily alter behavior to better interact with the group. I am able to converse with the group on their level of discussion (sometimes) WITHOUT having to focus on any one person and instead generating my responses based upon the group dynamic and not upon factors related to specific individuals within the group. I can converse with everyone without having to pre-analyze what I'm saying, and still illicit a positive response (most of the time). This, as far as I can tell, is the process of temporarily shifting function order from Ti > Ne to Ne > Ti. In this way, I can use my Ne to better deal with a plurality of people.

    On the other hand, when I'm not using that process, and my Ti is taking the lead, dealing with groups of people can be very tiresome for me, difficult, annoying, and fruitless (as I perceive it). This is just the opposite of when I really shift into a state of apparent Ne dominance. When I'm in my normal state, I'm very selective about what types of conversation I'm interested in, the main requirement being that they have to be intellectually stimulating or my brain will throw a fit. With Ti in the lead, I still like to talk to people, but on an INDIVIDUAL level. Normally I absolutely love to have great deep conversations with people I'm closer to. Doing this allows for my Ti and Fi to lead in a constructive way that is not a social hindrance, directing my Ne in a pattern specifically geared towards that individual. It's a much more rewarding experience, whether I'm in a Ti or Ne state of mind though, mostly because the Ne dominance process is underdeveloped for me as a natural Ti user. Thus, I can adapt to social situations where Ne can be useful (and Ti a hindrance), but I will truly shine where I can make use of my real dominant function Ti, which would be privately in close 1 on 1 interactions.

    This pattern of behavior and perception, for me, also takes place irl. Groups of people are much harder for me to relate to and interact with unless I'm in that specific state/mood of Ne dominance, or at least to the point where Ti is about level with Ne, and is not trying to choke it out.

  3. #23
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cloud View Post
    Language is used as a tool for communication. If you don't plan to use it, what is the point of learning it and storing it in your brain.

    You have to overcome your fear of talking.
    I was just joking in that post. He mentioned that I had to use a "fuschia notebook" and that's where I draw the line. If the notebook could be green, then I'd continue to work on my conversation skills, but if it has to be fuschia, I refuse!

  4. #24
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    Jenocyde, that was pretty much the kind of feedback I was looking to get from the ENTP's. Thanks. Qre:us and Liquid and Flammable, good input as well.

    I do find that I sometimes don't care enough about listening to what other people have to say. I easily become disinterested and that's one of my big problems. Part of it, I think, is that I hear logical fallacies all over the place and/or see through the facade they are presenting and it turns me off. It makes me think (in an instant), "You aren't dealing straight with me and you're not dealing straight with yourself. You're a walking contradiction, you're putting up a front, etc, etc." I have a very low tolerance for this kind of thing. I have to get over that. I need to be able to listen to someone and allow them to present themselves however they choose to present themselves and be accepting of that because, afterall, I'm sure I have my own pretentions, facades, and maybe even a *very occasional* logical fallacy (but, don't tell anyone that I admitted that). And I definitely have my own social insecurities that I'm probably trying to cover up as well when I'm engaging someone. So, in short, I have to learn to accept people and still want to engage them even though my radar detects a lot of their contradictions/problems/etc.

    And yes, I use Fe at times - I'm actually fairly comfortable using it, but I think I have a tendency to overuse it at times. It's sometimes over the top and gets strange looks. It's like if I turn on Fe, it's sometimes high voltage Fe. I should learn to tame it. Good little doggy. Good boy. Sit.

    I guess the first step is "caring more". Caring enough about who another person is and what they have to say or bring to the table. Once I get over that hump, then engaging them will probably come much easier.

  5. #25
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    68

    Default

    "You aren't dealing straight with me and you're not dealing straight with yourself. You're a walking contradiction, you're putting up a front, etc, etc." I have a very low tolerance for this kind of thing.
    Interesting. As I read this, I thought about some books, I really loved. The characters were not theirselves, and they even didn't recognize that in a full amount. The plot in this books is self-delusion. I really liked them because this let me use all my functions. Now I need to ask... is this sort of media interesting for you?

    I think, there is a difference, whether we observe someone over distance, or if we are directly affected by them, e.g. when they try to order us.

    It's like if I turn on Fe, it's sometimes high voltage Fe. I should learn to tame it.
    This sounds like the typical imbalancing-problem. If the Auxilary is not strong enough, the center of mind can switch from Dominant to Inferior. So, maybe you don't even need to feel about the people, it can be just asking why they build inner contradictions. What leads them to be how they are, and how do they perceive their world. Let the focus switch from logical structures to the questions about the person.
    ** Upgrading my english **
    Corrections for my language are willingly seen


    Enneagram: 7w6

  6. #26
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    2,158

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Liquid and Flammable View Post
    Interesting. As I read this, I thought about some books, I really loved. The characters were not theirselves, and they even didn't recognize that in a full amount. The plot in this books is self-delusion. I really liked them because this let me use all my functions. Now I need to ask... is this sort of media interesting for you?
    I do like this kind of media. Let me give you an example that might sound a bit strange. Have you seen the movie "Seven" with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman? Kevin Spacey plays a psychopath in that movie who goes on a killing spree. The police flush him out of his apartment and now he's on the run. But, when they look through his apartment they find volumes and volumes of writing about how people and society are always contradicting themselves. They say one thing and do another. Basically, he sees right through them. And in the final scenes of the movie, we get to hear the psychopath explain all of the contradictions and fake facades that people have.

    Now, here's where it might sound strange. I'm no psychopath (I'm more interested in adding to the quality of life than I am in taking lives - LOL), but I could relate to some of the things he was saying in those scenes. It was like watching the precision of Ti. He was dissecting the fallacies and facades that go on in people and society. "Everywhere you go," he explained, "you see these contradictions. People living immoral lives, etc, etc."

    The irony of it is that he ends up being immoral himself to the nth degree. But, if you haven't seen that movie, watch it.

  7. #27
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    68

    Default

    I don't thought on this kind of media. I don't want to judge about the society, I do this just, when I am in a really bad mood.

    What I mean is about the critical view to just one very strange protagonist. It can also be a comedy-film, with a touch of deepness. There's a difference between judging society and trying to understand one single person in all his/her facets. The judging mustn't come too early, and it mustn't be generalized to society.

    Maybe there is a film about a lonely old guy, complaining about society and something inspires him to grow out of this, or a film, which shows how a psychopath affect the people around him.
    ** Upgrading my english **
    Corrections for my language are willingly seen


    Enneagram: 7w6

  8. #28
    Senior Member Munchies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    XNXP
    Enneagram
    OMG sx
    Socionics
    iuno
    Posts
    474

    Default

    maybe its time for change? If your Ne is such a bother for you, become more indulged in your other functions.

  9. #29
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTp
    Posts
    6,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I guess the first step is "caring more". Caring enough about who another person is and what they have to say or bring to the table. Once I get over that hump, then engaging them will probably come much easier.
    I struggle with this as well. I often don't care about the person I am speaking with or even what s/he is saying. But I have learned that everybody is at least mildly interesting in some way or another, and the more the person talks, the more I can refine and pinpoint exactly what it is that interests me about that person. Then I find a common ground from there.

    I had nothing in common with a colleague and grew to not really like anything about him or his persona. But I had to get along with him. After a few days, I found out that he grew up on a dairy farm. Since I knew nothing about farming or that kind of life, I was really curious and just asked him a ton of questions about the process and the lifestyle. This made him feel intelligent and interesting because he got to teach me something. It also made him feel that I was genuinely interested in him as a person. And of course I wasn't at first, but I did become interested in him as a person (rather than a concept) over time - the more he spoke. Then of course, I found out that we actually do have a lot in common. So, stuff like that.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Clonester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    480

    Default

    I also have a tough time connecting with some people through my Ne. It's either a great connection or a big miss, like I'm speaking another language. And this is compounded by the fact that my two closest friends (ESTJ & ISFP) don't get my Ne. I still haven't fully figured out how to overcome this, although I do just fine anyway in social situations. I do find it easier to connect in smaller groups or one on one as opposed to larger groups where I often end up not saying a lot. Ultimately this makes me appreciate more when I'm talking to someone who gets my Ne socializing. Better yet, when they can throw some Ne back.
    ENFP Male: E-74% N-95% F-58% P-84% 3w2
    "I feel there are two people inside me - me and my intuition. If I go against her, she'll screw me every time, and if I follow her, we get along quite nicely." -Kim Basinger

Similar Threads

  1. [Ne] Sexy People! - Describe Ne as you Experience It!
    By Starry in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 165
    Last Post: 02-14-2016, 08:44 PM
  2. [ENTP] ENTPs unable to differentiate people??
    By thegirlcandance in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 02-05-2011, 07:11 PM
  3. [NF] NFs- Connecting with people
    By Nonsensical in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-28-2010, 04:40 PM
  4. [ENTP] ENTPs and debating with SOs
    By marmandahalf in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: 06-08-2009, 08:45 AM
  5. [ENTP] ENTPs and relating to people
    By Cenomite in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-27-2009, 08:47 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO