I was wondering if anyone has had this experience (or a similar one), and figured out a way to get past it:
My senior year in high school, I was close friends (in hindsight, only 'close' because of commitment issues, though it wouldn't have made a difference) with this girl, who was a h.s. freshman. I'll call her Jennifer.
I was also somewhat close to another girl, a very irrational SJ who pushed me into a dating 'relationship' (which I'm VERY glad to be out of). I'll call her Amanda.
This ended my friendship with Jennifer as she just threw me instantaneously out of her life with no explanation.
Here I am, nearly four years later, a senior in college. I've realized that my entire physical affection style was actually created during my time with Jennifer, and has since shown itself in all three of my relationships (the relationships following Amanda were progressively better).
With every relationship - whether it was romantic or not - that I've had, I've found that: when it's over, it's over, and I go on with my life.
Emotionally, they all hurt; but logically, I knew the reasons and I knew it had to end, so my Ti side muffled my emotions and then let me convert them into whatever other emotion I wanted at the time, and I had no lasting problems.
However, I've been completely unable to get over Jennifer. I've tried different ways of getting past her, from trying to convince myself I didn't care to trying to befriend her to pulling a very elaborate scheme with false identities to get the answers I needed (which, incidentally, almost worked at regaining her friendship - which wasn't the goal in the first place - until I showed her my hand and brought it tumbling down). Through the scheme (using Facebook), I found that her MBTI type is INTj (through "MyType," which seems to favor the J-type), which made it even harder.
No matter what I do, I cannot get over her, nor can I get her to talk to me or to explain anything to me (either before or after the scheme). I know this is very irrational, and that drives me bonkers.
My friends, who are largely NFs (who believe that she *should* be civil and we *should* get along) and SJs (who I won't even discuss here, since I'm sure you'll all see how this would come across to them...), are very unhelpful; but this seems like the perfect place to ask.
I'd be very appreciative of any help anyone could give me that would have one of the following two outcomes (in preferential order):
(1) Rekindle our friendship (or, even just to TALK to me)
(2) Get her out of my stinkin' over-analyzing head