User Tag List

First 123

Results 21 to 26 of 26

  1. #21
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    I am not sure that we can say that ENTJs have an higher frequency of cheating on their mates over every other type. In any case, trying to get in the minds of people that are of the same type as mine, I think the cause might be that in the initial part of their marriage they deluded themselves that the girl they were marrying was a very good match for them, purposefully ignoring their intuition that pointed towards that being the wrong choice. I think that we often have the problem of being blinded by beauty. It's a rather common problem among males, but I arrogantly feel like we ENTJs do not fear approaching very good looking girls without thinking that, if we do not check priorly for other factors of compatibility, we won't be happy in a relationship with them.

    Fast forward to marriage, and that's what happens. This isn't to say that they're justified to do so, I was just exploring the mechanism (and I'm fortunate to be young and already know it so that I can avoid falling in the trap, though only due to prior dating experience that followed exactly the same pattern).

    I believe the "image" side of the equation can be considered true for some ENTJs (enneagram 3s?), meaningless for others (enneagram 8s?).

    Could I imagine myself cheating? Not anymore, but if I was as inexperienced as when I started dating girls, I would have very likely been caught in an unfulfilling relationship. "Caught" isn't even the right verb, given that the choice was purposeful, voluntary, and conscious.

    Would I tell it to my spouse? First of all, even if I were to cheat, I would never ever develop an "affair" with another party. This unless the marriage was completely fake to begin with. In any case, the reason why I wouldn't be open about it would be the kids, if we had any. Otherwise, I would definitely be open.

    Dated an ENTJ before, and while being with him was fun, you do realise at the back of your head, he's constantly evaluating what he can get from you, and what he can get away with, and he gives accordingly. i.e. he sees you for what value he can get. While he may not be representative of all ENTJs;
    Yeah, I constantly think how many kisses I can get from a girl I'm going out with, and how many times I can touch her butt in public before she slaps me (or decides to continue less publicly...)

  2. #22
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    Yeah, I constantly think how many kisses I can get from a girl I'm going out with, and how many times I can touch her butt in public before she slaps me (or decides to continue less publicly...)

    LOL!! I love this statement. Wrap it up, I'm taking it home.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  3. #23
    Senior Member Roger Mexico's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    131

    Default

    Correct me, but aren't ENTJs the "field marshals"? They get serious kicks out of moving people around like chess pieces, right? Relationships have a gaming element to them more so than for other types?

    Dissatisfaction with a monogamous relationship is probably a prerequisite for cheating on anyone's part. Why would you stray if you were getting everything you need already?

    I'd think an ENTJ who viewed their marriage as the successful resolution of a game or project might get restless and need a new challenge. Not only do you have to seduce a new lover, you have to keep at least one of your partners from finding out about the other one, which entails all kinds of strategizing. That "got you where I want you" sensation seems like it would appeal to an ENTJ who enjoyed manipulating people.

  4. #24
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    7,233

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I know that NT's find the concept of cheating on a spouse to generally be repellant, but I know of two men, both ENTJ's, who continue to cheat on their spouses, all the while maintaining their marriages. I'm not looking to morally crucify these people, I was just curious as to what sort of conditions would have to be present for an NT to rationalize this? From my own viewpoint, I would rather tell the person I was in a relationship with that I wasn't satisfied with it, be upfront about it, and then end it, rather than persist with a marriage I was unhappy in. Would having children make a difference to them? Or is it an issue of being perceived as successful? That divorce would somehow reflect on them as a failure?
    I'm guessing all of them. For people to persist in their relationship, it must be affording them some advantage: kids, stability, reputation, acceptance. It may even be a way for them to spring into affairs, knowing that they don't have anything to lose by rejection, AND, that being in a marriage makes
    the affair illicit and arousing. Maybe these guys are thinking: why ruin a good thing? It may not look good to us, but maybe it serves their needs just fine.

  5. #25
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Mexico View Post
    Correct me, but aren't ENTJs the "field marshals"? They get serious kicks out of moving people around like chess pieces, right? Relationships have a gaming element to them more so than for other types?

    Dissatisfaction with a monogamous relationship is probably a prerequisite for cheating on anyone's part. Why would you stray if you were getting everything you need already?

    I'd think an ENTJ who viewed their marriage as the successful resolution of a game or project might get restless and need a new challenge. Not only do you have to seduce a new lover, you have to keep at least one of your partners from finding out about the other one, which entails all kinds of strategizing. That "got you where I want you" sensation seems like it would appeal to an ENTJ who enjoyed manipulating people.
    Bleh. Awesome RTS and turn-based strategy games are published every day and their usage does not entail the suffering of other people (except in multiplayer gaming, but that's their choice!), so IME it's better to focus our necessity for strategy towards them.

  6. #26
    GirlAmerica
    Guest

    Default

    An ENTJ I know has a horrible marriage...her husband is a drug addict and a horrible provider....
    she still has yet to leave him because of their young children...and never even considered cheating while they are still married.

    She has a step plan in progress to get out, but is rushing nothing.

Similar Threads

  1. [NT] NT males - what are you attracted to?
    By BlownAway in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 62
    Last Post: 12-02-2017, 11:31 PM
  2. What personality types tend to cheat on exams?
    By curiousel in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 11-11-2011, 01:57 PM
  3. [ENFP] What does an ENFP love to hear?
    By DeVie in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-13-2008, 11:35 PM
  4. What compells people to create/study personality theories?
    By Athenian200 in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 10-13-2007, 11:10 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO