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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    You conveniently, and I believe inaccurately, left out the ENTP, Blackwater.
    hmm. I cannot speak for everyone, but personally, the idea of cheating on a marriage partner is anathema to me. But perhaps that is because of upbringing/culture.

    Trying to think like an ENTP, I'd say an ENTP would probably not get married in the first place, if they were to tend towards cheating, since simply, they'd not be interested in closing off options and it'd take too much energy to maintain two (or more?!) deep relationships vs you could hop between many without strings.

    And while much catches our fancy, few things catch our heart. So for an ENTP to want to get married in the first place, it'd mean something made sense to want to stop rolling, in a way. For me, that'd be a deep connection. And to find that is rare. So I'm not sure I'd ever risk that. The heart's a fragile thing.

    Not sure if that makes sense..

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I noticed that too.
    why do I feel baited.


  3. #13
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    My closest friend is an ENTJ, and while her marriage is volatile, explosive and sometimes violent, she tells me that to divorce would be a failure. But a failure in her own eyes, or a failure in the eyes of others?
    A failure in her own eyes--making a bad decision about one of the most significant decisions in life.

    On the other hand, it would even be a much bigger failure to remain in a violent relationship where one's safety or life is threatened. If her relationship is like this, it's already a failure (and my guess is it's not her fault?). Her only failure now would be to stay in the marriage, and the sooner she realizes this, the better the rest of her life will be. I would confront her with this decision in these terms.

  4. #14
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    ENTJ is very good at predicting your next step, so naturally we're also good at covering up our own.

    Also having Fi as the weakest function helps block out any guilt. Perhaps even rationalizing the cheating to a point where there seriously is ZERO guilt on our mind.


    However, I would only cheat if I knew the primary relationship was going nowhere. I dont think I would do it if I truly loved the girl and saw myself having a serious future with her. In that case I would not cheat.


    Many people who cheat do it spontaneously with out thinking ahead or planning it. Which makes it easy for them to regret it or get caught. NT's in general are not giving into impulses. If an ENTJ is cheating, you can be sure theyve thought it out in there head and made sure theyll be able to handle it with ease.

  5. #15
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakuraba View Post
    If an ENTJ is cheating, you can be sure theyve thought it out in there head and made sure theyll be able to handle it with ease.
    Yes... which for some people might just make it even more deplorable... beastliness aforethought and all that.

    Since when did you change to ENTJ? I was sure you were ENTP last time I looked!
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  6. #16
    Senior Member Gabe's Avatar
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    "Some types have a hard time saying no to the good times, even if those times happen to be going on between the sheets (that would be ESFP/ ENFP/ ENFJ) and others have an easy time justifying their corrupt behavior through mock rationality (that would be the NTJs)."

    May i suggest that postmodernmind.com is an extremely unreliable source, Blackwater? It isn't even written by someone who's MBTI qualified. It's just some existentialist dude. WTF? (I am of the opinion that existentialism is a load of crap). But really, it's not his lack of credentials that I hate, it's that in his posts he singles out certian types as being worse or better than other types. Really! It seems like almost everything that you write about E_F_ types is lifted almost directly from some rant of his about "Bill Clinton=E__P, therefore they're cheating scum" or some bullshit like that. And I am getting seriously SICK of reading excerpts from that page.
    The author of postmodern mind doesn't even really know type theory, that's why he always presents E__P as rediculous and pathetic people .
    Earth to you, you don't have any more integrity than any of those type's that you just mentioned. And niether does anyone else! If you will respond to my posts I will be willing to explain why you are WRONG on so many assumptions about the types (including my type). I'll also refer you to some sites that are written by people who actually know what they're talking about.

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  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    I've also seen it with ENTJ's... it can be a bad thing, obviously, but I wouldn't too quickly leap to a conclusion that it's always bad, cos quite often an ENTJ marriage, if they pick the right person who's on their wavelength, is a bit of a business arrangement, a convenience thing, for both parties, and there's little love lost between them in the F type of way. Bit like the Clintons... so, they both have their fun and they both know about it, they both turn a blind eye for the sake of appearance/face etc, because in reality neither of them really needs the other to be completely faithful. But because image is important, they do expect each other to be discreet.

    I tend to go on the side of only seeing something as 'wrong' or 'bad' if someone's getting hurt by it. If nobody's getting hurt, and all parties are fully aware and going in with their eyes open, I don't see any harm in it.
    Now, if are assuming that two people have an "open relationship" then it's not cheating, is it?

    Also, I thought talking about the sexual lives of politicians was just a tacky American thing. I guess though we can't not include them in our penchant specimen of MBTI examples.

  8. #18
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    why do I feel baited.



  9. #19
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    A failure in her own eyes--making a bad decision about one of the most significant decisions in life.

    On the other hand, it would even be a much bigger failure to remain in a violent relationship where one's safety or life is threatened. If her relationship is like this, it's already a failure (and my guess is it's not her fault?). Her only failure now would be to stay in the marriage, and the sooner she realizes this, the better the rest of her life will be. I would confront her with this decision in these terms.

    I completely agree about the greater failure being in remaining in a violent relationship, rather than in admitting to having chosen a poor partner. But, she doesn't see it this way, and goodness knows I've talked with her about it exhaustively. When logic becomes clouded by denial, it seems like there is absolutely no prevailing upon it. :|

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I completely agree about the greater failure being in remaining in a violent relationship, rather than in admitting to having chosen a poor partner. But, she doesn't see it this way, and goodness knows I've talked with her about it exhaustively. When logic becomes clouded by denial, it seems like there is absolutely no prevailing upon it. :|
    I've worked with abused children before, and frequently, the parents are in denial, especially if one of the parents had been the abuser. The child will also usually tell you that "daddy/mommy is very nice, they love me and only want what is good for me. I've been a bad child". You can point out that the things that have been done to them is sick and wrong, but it does not matter to them. They know no other life, simply.

    It is not the mindset you have to break, as rationality (for a normal person who'd have evaluated that violence as being worse) is not the issue. It lies with the heart. It is usually someone of strong will, with high expectations of themselves, inability to express themselves well, strong pride/dignity. And inside, they are deeply in pain/anger. The knot is in the heart?

    That's why directly confronting the issue only drives the denial deeper. You cannot replace what is hard-wired in the brain by years of conditioning by simply taking it out. That leaves a gap in them, and the knowledge that they've made the wrong choice and lived with it for years. And perhaps what they fear most is that emptiness/failure vs the constant emotional turmoil which you've gotten used to.

    What I've found useful is more to refocus them onto more positive things, to engage them in more areas of life. For people who've been hurt, something to do, a listening ear, and discipline (interms of knowing when to be hard and when to be soft on themselves), changes things more. Gradually, they'll come to the realisation that there're more than one ways to live life. And hopefully, they'll learn to forgive themselves, and it is only then they can walk away. Change is an evolution, not a revolution..

    Hope that helps..

    * If you want to force the issue, you'd have to get a court order, if the violence becomes abuse. Where I'm from, most of the cases of abuse are reported by 3rd parties e.g. teachers. The courts then evaluate and remove the child from the parents if necessary. Harsh, but safer.

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