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  1. #31
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    i have people in my life that i have opened up to...5-6 close mofos...then of course the networked contacts

    though lately im finding that the more i open up to people, the closer we get. N/S doesn't come into play tooo much. though Ns, for me, are way easier to talk to...im pretty sure my S buddies think the same about me

  2. #32
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I have a few close friends and quite a few acquaintances... I've never seen a reason to have a ton of friends... too much sharing of myself for my tastes.

    A few good ones are all that anyone could ask for- and they're good
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #33
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    How would anyone of you people define a friendship? I consider a person my friend if they have long-term access to positive attention and energy coming from me. The more focused and involved, and especially the more sustained those things are, the closer I consider the friendship.

    Do you define it as a person who knows about you more than others do?....and accepts me in spite of and because of what they know. Further, they care to know more. There's a mutual commitment to the possibilities of our connection.

    Do you define it as a person whom you trust the most?Trust with my inner world and me with theirs.

    Do you define it as a person whom you could depend on?Interdependence of some kind and to some degree is often a byproduct of the connection. So in a way, yes.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  4. #34
    Senior Member redsox44344's Avatar
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    I have a small amount of very close friends, maybe 1-4 depending on the circumstances. I tend to hang out with them more than others and am able to confide in each of them a little, which I don't do with others.

    I have a large range of acquaintances and groups of friends that I will hang out with from time to time, just to keep my opportunities open in case one group of friends doesn't fit well with the activity that I would like to do that day. It's all subjective in terms of when I would like to hang out with these people, however, and how much I will want to.
    If you were to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

  5. #35
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    I have thousands of acquaintances that I know by name, and I have three or four friends that I would dare call close.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  6. #36
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    Nope. I don't have a lot of friends. Never have.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  7. #37
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I know a lot of people and feel like they would call me a friend... but even the people I feel close to, I still feel distant from much of the time.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #38
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    I use the term friend more lightly than most people, I think. To avoid confusion, I'd say that I have about 5 or 6 friends who would be what most people consider real friends. On top of that, there's probably another 20 or so people who I'd still consider a friend, just not quite as close, and another 40 or so who most people would call acquaintances, but who I still consider to be friends.

    It's easy to be my friend. I don't really care about deep trust, loyalty, commitment, or attachment. Sometimes those things become an important part of the relationship, and I'm not against it when it happens naturally, I'm just saying that it's not a requirement. Why? Because with most people, all I care about is the mutual enjoyment of our relationship, however our relationship is defined. It doesn't matter how deep or shallow our relationship is, we're both part of it because we both want to be, and there's no hidden stipulations or unnecessary commitments. We're free to come and go as we please.

    For example, I don't need the guy I play guitar with a few times a year to keep secrets for me or to drive me to work if my car breaks down in order to enjoy our relationship. I don't have secrets - If I share something with someone, I have no fear of it leaking out, and I already have people who would help me in a time of need, (as I would for them). But even if I didn't... who cares? I'm not friends with people so they can do stuff for me. If I need help, I can just accept help from the next friendly stranger, coworker, or acquaintance, make a deal with someone, or simply pay somebody to help me. No big deal. I live in such a friendly environment that I don't ever worry that the few needs I have won't be met. (That's partially because of my attitude, too, I suppose.)
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  9. #39
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    but even the people I feel close to, I still feel distant from much of the time.
    same

    I don't think I have a friend in the sense that I would define friend...perhaps my conception of friendship is a little too idealistic, though.

  10. #40
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    I don't think I have a friend in the sense that I would define friend...perhaps my conception of friendship is a little too idealistic, though.
    I don't even know what my expectation is.

    Rationally, I have shared a lot of information with some people and trust them, and they return the favor; and we seem to very much like each other and enjoy spending time or talking together; but it's like I just want to be 100% in sync with someone and FEEL close/intimate and that rarely happens, it always feels like it has distance involved.

    There are definitely a lot of people who give and exchange goodwill with me, though.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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