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  1. #41
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Man, stupid interweb is messing up...see below post:

  2. #42
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aelan View Post
    Uber:

    Take a look? I think I've managed to retain the sense of you, but hopefully with more hooks. Catch some first before you decide what to do, in a way. You can discard if you do not think it representative of you, no worries.

    Cze, I never meant any malice (apologies, Uber, if it came across that way). I saw the kind he was looking for. Just that the way his was written, I think could have some girls just out for a bet/laugh hitting on him too. And that's pretty mean. If I thought Uber was bad, I wouldn't have bothered...

    ...

    Hi Aelan, good looking out!

    (Whatever, where's yours? Tick, tock girl! Haha)

    I think it's awesome you went to the trouble of a rewrite -- but I have to say I actually like Uber's better, with the words down to the exact phrasing coming out of his mouth. It's more him. There is a sense of energy and earnestness to it. It's a little rough around the edges because he is, too!

    I think your rewrite Alean takes the 'suave approach' -- it's more serious and darkly romantic... and uh...I just can't imagine Uber being anyone's "dark knight" nor wanting to be (no offense Uber) Basically, it comes off GOTH. I dun think Uber is goth...Sure some of the girls he likes are goth but if he falsley advertises no one will be happy.

    Just my 2 cents. Because I'm opinionated like that. I'm not in Uber's age range or even sexual orientation but sincerity always comes through regardless, which is why I like the original better.

    What do you think, Uber?

  3. #43
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    ** i'm having some trouble posting. My messages come out half cut, and I have to edit and save repeatedly for the full thing to come out. Is there some kind of limit I'm busting or it's only me? **

    No worries, just offering an alternative. To me (I think I'm in Uber's age range), anyone who'd be loyal and put betrayal beyond question qualifies as a knight actually. And I know many girls who'd say the same. Too many oily prince charmings around.

    Mine. umm. mine... ummm.... it is on the Cube game by pocket lint. You could inteprete it and write one for me Cze. And why'd you remove yours anyhow? Anyway, best not squat on Uber's post.

  4. #44
    Tenured roisterer SolitaryWalker's Avatar
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    I think OkCupid defeats its own purpose, should it be helping us make meaningful connections with others by promoting superficial relations. The more we engage in those, the more difficult it becomes for us to be true to ourselves.

    Point being: this whole resume was a mistake.
    "Do not argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." -- Mark Twain

    “No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.”---Samuel Johnson

    My blog: www.randommeanderings123.blogspot.com/

  5. #45
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    FWIW, here are my reactions when reading your profile.

    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    I am basically a shy loner with limited friends and otherwise restricted connections to the outer world, but now, I am ready to come out of my shell. I am not one who is privileged. I am not perfect. Like anyone, I have issues, too.
    This opener is full of negativity. The single positive thing in it - 'I am ready to come out of my shell' - is obvious since you wouldn't be doing this if you weren't.

    I hold no respect for political correctness, and therefore, I hold no respect for anal-retentive liberals. Likewise, I hold no respect for moral correctness -- which means I hate religious conservatives just as much. On a good day, I'm an open-minded libertarian (unofficially).
    More negativity. Also, I recommend demonstrating your disrespect for political correctness and moral righteousness rather than claiming it. The last sentence is okay.

    I enjoy the presence of creative, thoughtful, and intelligent people,
    This fails the bullshit test. (Who would say they didn't?)

    and am willing to share a social, romantic, or even sexual life with such folk.
    Never talk about sex with a potential partner before the two of you have actually had it. Women prefer gentlemen, and as far as a gentleman is concerned, sex is something you do, not something you talk about.

    But simply being a counter-culture buffoon does not make you any of the three qualities described above.
    More negativity, plus you're shifting the focus from selling yourself to making demands on the women who contact you. This does not serve your claims to thoughtfulness and intelligence well.

    I am an ultra movie nerd, an ultra video game nerd, and recently, I have become more of an indie music nerd. I follow these pursuits enthusiastically.
    This is okay though I'm not a believer in the necessity of having pursuits like these in common. (My SO and I don't, for instance.)

    I also have a fascination with roller coasters. I do not just like to ride them, I feel they are among the most beautiful creations in the world. They are works of art.
    This I think is okay. It shows that you can be enthusiastic about something. Coupled with a profile that sells yourself better I'd leave it in.

    I have a taste for the bizarre. No idea is too ridiculous to entertain. I am a visionary. Practical ideas are overrated.
    Again, I would demonstrate your taste for the bizarre and your vision rather than claim them. 'No idea is too ridiculous to entertain' is okay, however, 'practical ideas are overrated' follows directly from that and is thus redundant. (It's also negative.)

    My nature is very misanthropic and cynical. I cannot stand seeing other people who are happy, because chances are, they probably don't deserve it.
    This screams 'I need a shrink'. With any luck you will meet a woman who will be supportive of you while you work through your issues, but she will do this because she values what you have to offer and considers you to be a net catch for her, not a net burden.

    If you wish to contact me, please be thoughtful and sincere. I reserve little pleasure, time, and/or energy for pursuing meaningless, frivolous endeavors.
    Again, negativity and misdirected focus.

    ---

    Okay, so that was harsh, but Uber, I actually do think you have something to offer a woman, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with this. You just have to learn salesmanship.

    General advice

    - Keep it positive (and I say this as one of them there morbid goth chicks )
    - Sell yourself - your profile should communicate what you have to offer someone, not what someone needs to offer you (beggars can't be choosers)
    - Show, don't tell (demonstrate traits rather than claim them)
    - Never mention sex (and I say this as one of them there European libertines )

  6. #46
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    Well, actually, I changed a lot of what was mentioned there.

    I actually have an identical copy on my MySpace and Facebook About Me section.

  7. #47
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    Bluewing does have a point in that Internet connections could be superficial, and we offer a false representation of ourselves there, and that takes us further from whom we are.

    But perhaps take it from another view, Uber's main objective is to meet with/ socialise with more people. And this does require some adjustment and to come out of yourself, in a way - he got it when he said "come out of my shell". I read his opening post to mean just that - he was ready to try meet more people, and wanted to do it via the web, and wanted feedback if his advert would work.

    To slowly get to know someone else takes time, it'd not really be fair to unload the sum of whom we are directly onto one person at the first interaction, would it?

    It is true that face-to-face meetings are more real. But right now, I'd say take it a step at a time.
    1. Use the Internet environment where he feels safer,
    2. Establish some common grounds of interest with possible folks (start superficial, with many, for want of a better phrase),
    3. Then move it as a next step to meeting up (go deeper, with a few), perhaps over a common interest movie or black metal concert for e.g.

    That way, at least the emotional investment on his part is less first, when it is over the Net. So if something does not work out, he'd hurt less..

    In short, the web is just a prelude. Not the real connection, but the start of possible ones.

    Above it all, Uber, free choice remains yours, all our posts are feedback (ok, mine may just be noise ), but you're the master yea.

  8. #48
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    Yes, BlueWing always has a point.

    Aelan, I used elements of your revision (I hope you don't desire credit!), but I changed a little:

    I am not perfect; like you, I have issues, too. That is why I’d accept yours, as much as I’d expect you to accept me as I am.

    For your trust and respect, I’d repay with loyalty. If you are on my good side, you will not have to worry about betrayal.

    I am shy, reserved, and misunderstood, but which genius is understood in his own time?

    To me, the world holds no boundaries, no rights and wrongs. Atheism, Religion, Humanism, Science. They are all the same. I hold no respect for political correctness, for anal-retentive liberals; for moral correctness, for religious conservatives.

    The truth is everything is relative. I invent my own beliefs, and they make just as much and just as little sense as anything else. Challenge my views, as I will challenge yours. No idea is too ridiculous to entertain. That which is bizarre attracts me. Create and destroy worlds with me.

    I am, for the most part, in my own little world. My imagination provides for me what reality cannot. It allows me to escape the boredom of life.

    I am into movies, video games and music of all kinds -- ambient and black metal are among my favorites. I am in love with technology. I also have a special fascination with roller coasters. Speed and danger, carefully crafted.

    I do not express myself with attire. That's what ideas are for.

    I enjoy the presence of creative, thoughtful, and intelligent people, and am willing to share a life with such folk. A sense of humor is strongly important. I can handle any joke, racist, sexist, dirty... But I have a special affinity for gallows humor. I enjoy a dark sense of humor. Where’s yours?

    Pseudointellectuals, pretentious "high-cultured" snobs, and otherwise all-around imbeciles do not make it in my book of life. The world is littered with enough idiots, most of whom are either stupid enough to think they are smart, others whom are stupid enough to pretend they are smart. I have no wish to shepherd myself into an eternal flock of idiocy.

    If you have read and agreed to my above statements, my AIM is daseivonsatan@aim.com and my Yahoo! IM is dltdvd1@yahoo.com. Feel free to add, but please do the kind service of letting me know who you are.

    Thank you, and have a great day.

  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uberfuhrer View Post
    Aelan, I used elements of your revision (I hope you don't desire credit!), but I changed a little:
    No. As said earlier, all yours to junk/amend/take.

    Good luck. Perhaps wait for more feedback?

  10. #50
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueWing View Post
    I think OkCupid defeats its own purpose, should it be helping us make meaningful connections with others by promoting superficial relations. The more we engage in those, the more difficult it becomes for us to be true to ourselves.

    Point being: this whole resume was a mistake.
    1. He really has nothing to lose from taking the chance.

    2. I would be extremely impressed if two people immediately had some kind of meaningful connection without any superficial relations. It's like someone going on a blind date and immediately going into a discussion on political or religious theory. Everyone judges superficially, whether it's online or not.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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