• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NT] Is this behaviour likely of NTs?

Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
257
MBTI Type
INFJ
My xNTP-friend told me that in situations for which he feels responsible (giving a party etc.) he feels responsible for the guests to feel comfortable, have someone to talk to etc. This is something I have only noticed a LOT in myself an other F, but mostly NF friends. I know that SJs are supposed to be great at hosting and stuff like this (which I have, which is because I feel so extremely responsible for everyone having a great time).....I'm sure NTs care about people, too. But there are several NTs who wouldn't care if someone else is having fun, even if they are responsible.....I know, ENTPs and INTPs also have Fe...do you think what has been described is related to Fe? argh. Just gets confusing and I know there is no strait answer/connection between what I described and a person's temperament....just wanted to you know what you think about that.
 

Oeufa

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INTP
Well whenever I host I like to make sure people are comfortable enough when they arrive, but as time goes on I tend to care less and less. Mostly because the people I invite are perfectly capable of making their own fun! I have been known to drag people up to dance from time to time, but usually only when I'm around a lot of ESFx types.
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
The Fe connection is certainly where I would start my investigation.
 

Mitzy

brat
Joined
Oct 2, 2008
Messages
687
MBTI Type
ENTP
speaking on behalf of myself and the people i do know, i dont know any INTP, ENTP, ENTJ or INTJ who would care at all. i dont know about the S's

i would just look at my party in an overall matter. i wouldnt concentrate myself on looking after any particular people just to make sure theyre okay. if it looks good, then it probably is.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
yes if I am hoisting I look after people especally when they first arrive, once people are settled I still look after them but to a lesser extent.

I do care, I consider it good manners and hospitality is important to me. It's very different if I'm somone else guest.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I am actually hyper aware and sensitive to accommodating guests properly...I just don't know how to do it and it causes me considerable distress; or I am completely oblivious and miss something that's apparently pretty important. Whenever friends would pop into my dorm uninvited I'd be secretly freaking out in my head. Do they want something to drink? Will they get mad at me if I don't? I'm playing video games are they going to want to play? What do they want? fjaklfjkldja" etc. I forget to introduce people when they're waiting for it...until it hits me and I say "OH yeah this is my gf...yeah..."

ENTPs are probably a lot better at this.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
I am actually hyper aware and sensitive to accommodating guests properly...I just don't know how to do it and it causes me considerable distress; or I am completely oblivious and miss something that's apparently pretty important. Whenever friends would pop into my dorm uninvited I'd be secretly freaking out in my head. Do they want something to drink? Will they get mad at me if I don't? I'm playing video games are they going to want to play? What do they want? fjaklfjkldja" etc. I forget to introduce people when they're waiting for it...until it hits me and I say "OH yeah this is my gf...yeah..."

ENTPs are probably a lot better at this.


I have sympathy ... esp the likely repricutions of having forgotten to introduce your gf... sure thats caused a bit of greif at times
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I have sympathy ... esp the likely repricutions of having forgotten to introduce your gf... sure thats caused a bit of greif at times

Yup, most of the time I'm not aware at all. But then sometimes I'm inexplicably hyper sensitive to how I'm supposed to be acting and it's a terribly negative experience. Fe never, ever manifests itself positively for me at all I think.
 

Memphis

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
76
Yup, most of the time I'm not aware at all. But then sometimes I'm inexplicably hyper sensitive to how I'm supposed to be acting and it's a terribly negative experience. Fe never, ever manifests itself positively for me at all I think.

This. I have a question. Dealing with your inferior function: when it's exposed, does it often go into overdrive and become very hard to manage/handle?

Most of the time, I don't notice my Fi, but when it emerges, I don't really have a say. Of course, I turn it all inwards and people get frustrated with me cause I won't (but really can't), tell them what the fuck is wrong. It's like a volcano, imploding. I just have to let it pass.
 

Oeufa

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
694
MBTI Type
INTP
This. I have a question. Dealing with your inferior function: when it's exposed, does it often go into overdrive and become very hard to manage/handle?

Most of the time, I don't notice my Fi, but when it emerges, I don't really have a say. Of course, I turn it all inwards and people get frustrated with me cause I won't (but really can't), tell them what the fuck is wrong. It's like a volcano, imploding. I just have to let it pass.

Absolutely. Being a female INTP with mostly F friends, I can be pushed to give details on love life/feelings etc. Often I find that while I'm reluctant to talk at first, there comes a point when something is "unlocked" and the tide of Fe cannot be reined in, usually resulting in my friends backing away with this look on their faces: :shock:. I just cannot shut up for the life of me once I get started :blush:
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I've been dealing with customers for several years now and found that I don't have any problems with making people at ease nowadays. But when I first started working actively, hyper sensitivity definatly played a part. :p

I suppose practice makes perfect. And not caring too much helps loads as well.

That said, it's WAY easier for me to entertain people I don't know or don't have much of a connection with. Even still.
 

Memphis

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
76
OP:

For me, once everybody are on board, it's every man/woman for themselves.
Are people having fun? Well, I honestly think that's their responsibility. If I'm having a party, my doors are open, you're equally welcome to come and to go.
However, I will keep an eye on the "order" of the party.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
This. I have a question. Dealing with your inferior function: when it's exposed, does it often go into overdrive and become very hard to manage/handle?

Most of the time, I don't notice my Fi, but when it emerges, I don't really have a say. Of course, I turn it all inwards and people get frustrated with me cause I won't (but really can't), tell them what the fuck is wrong. It's like a volcano, imploding. I just have to let it pass.

Most of the time it doesn't really do anything at all. It's like that annoying guy in the corner of the doctor's office who looks like he could die at any moment and you're thinking "Egads, what the hell is wrong with that guy, I wish he would leave or just bite it already."

But, like you said, sometimes a little thing can set it off, and it can overwhelm at times. I wouldn't say this is a frequent occurrence, it's just startling once it happens. Because what was once a slightly stinky guy in the corner is now a rampaging madman ripping all the pages out of the kids coloring books while everyone stares in horror until he passes out or is subdued by Dr. Manhattan [my Ti].
 

Memphis

New member
Joined
Dec 12, 2009
Messages
76
Most of the time it doesn't really do anything at all. It's like that annoying guy in the corner of the doctor's office who looks like he could die at any moment and you're thinking "Egads, what the hell is wrong with that guy, I wish he would leave or just bite it already."

But, like you said, sometimes a little thing can set it off, and it can overwhelm at times. I wouldn't say this is a frequent occurrence, it's just startling once it happens. Because what was once a slightly stinky guy in the corner is now a rampaging madman ripping all the pages out of the kids coloring books while everyone stares in horror until he passes out or is subdued by Dr. Manhattan [my Ti].

Awesome! I understand completely.
LOL! He's my favorite doctor!
 

Orangey

Blah
Joined
Jun 26, 2008
Messages
6,354
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
6w5
I am actually hyper aware and sensitive to accommodating guests properly...I just don't know how to do it and it causes me considerable distress; or I am completely oblivious and miss something that's apparently pretty important. Whenever friends would pop into my dorm uninvited I'd be secretly freaking out in my head. Do they want something to drink? Will they get mad at me if I don't? I'm playing video games are they going to want to play? What do they want? fjaklfjkldja" etc. I forget to introduce people when they're waiting for it...until it hits me and I say "OH yeah this is my gf...yeah..."

ENTPs are probably a lot better at this.

This is absolutely true for me.
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Yeah, I am definitely constantly worried about everyone enjoying themselves. I definitely try way harder than anyone ever should.

This has nothing to do with whether you're an NT or not... I don't want my events to fail. I don't want ANYTHING I do to fail, who does?
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
You guys are crazy.

I rarely concern myself with the social well-being of my friends during an outing. If they didn't want to be there, they wouldn't.

Of course, I have few friends, so. . .
 

TiNe_2_IP

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2009
Messages
41
MBTI Type
INTP
I reach for the stress pills whenever my husband utters the words 'shall we have some people over?'
It takes me a week to psyche myself up to say yes and only after I have calculated food needs, time, weather, pms, lunar eclipses....Arghhh
I clean like a mad woman, I mean who's going to look in my cutlery drawer to see if its clean?
Then there's the cooking. I'm a pretty good cook but it's not my fav pasttime and I can't cook and talk at the same time so everything has to be done before guests arrive. And why do desserts that you have made many times for yourself never work out when you are doing them for someone else?

None of this is helped by my xSFJ husband hovering and asking 'Have we got enough food?'
'Plenty"
'Are you sure, maybe I should just go and buy some....'
'NO, you're freaking me out'

After food has been consumed and the comments of 'that was delicious' are done with then I usually calm down and let my husband handle the social niceties while I hang out with the guests, though this might come across as being not the socially accepted order of things (most of our friends being SJ's) but by then I am past caring.

Last year the family appointed Father as the social director of the family which entitled him to invite whomever he wanted over as long as he organized and cooked for it while we became the support staff. Interestingly, after the first couple of times, having guests over doesn't seem so necessary anymore.
 

LunarMoon

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
309
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3
INTJs and ENTJs care but generally not for the same reason that Fe-users do; they care because they would rather not fail at an endeavor. And ENTPs have tertiary Fe so are thus genuinely more concerned about the well-being of others than the other NTs. As for the final Rational, no self-respecting INTP would bother to throw a party. Seriously, they have neither the excessive zeal in seeing to the success of a project that the *NTJs have, nor the Fe that would cause an ENTP to actually care about the happiness of his guests. That's most likely why the vast majority of the NTs in this thread that claim not to care also happen to be INTP.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
I don't really feel responsible for making sure they have a good time, but I find that I cling to the role of hostess because it gives me something to do besides socialize.
 
Top