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  1. #11
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I've been dealing with customers for several years now and found that I don't have any problems with making people at ease nowadays. But when I first started working actively, hyper sensitivity definatly played a part. :P

    I suppose practice makes perfect. And not caring too much helps loads as well.

    That said, it's WAY easier for me to entertain people I don't know or don't have much of a connection with. Even still.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #12

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    OP:

    For me, once everybody are on board, it's every man/woman for themselves.
    Are people having fun? Well, I honestly think that's their responsibility. If I'm having a party, my doors are open, you're equally welcome to come and to go.
    However, I will keep an eye on the "order" of the party.

  3. #13
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Memphis View Post
    This. I have a question. Dealing with your inferior function: when it's exposed, does it often go into overdrive and become very hard to manage/handle?

    Most of the time, I don't notice my Fi, but when it emerges, I don't really have a say. Of course, I turn it all inwards and people get frustrated with me cause I won't (but really can't), tell them what the fuck is wrong. It's like a volcano, imploding. I just have to let it pass.
    Most of the time it doesn't really do anything at all. It's like that annoying guy in the corner of the doctor's office who looks like he could die at any moment and you're thinking "Egads, what the hell is wrong with that guy, I wish he would leave or just bite it already."

    But, like you said, sometimes a little thing can set it off, and it can overwhelm at times. I wouldn't say this is a frequent occurrence, it's just startling once it happens. Because what was once a slightly stinky guy in the corner is now a rampaging madman ripping all the pages out of the kids coloring books while everyone stares in horror until he passes out or is subdued by Dr. Manhattan [my Ti].



  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Most of the time it doesn't really do anything at all. It's like that annoying guy in the corner of the doctor's office who looks like he could die at any moment and you're thinking "Egads, what the hell is wrong with that guy, I wish he would leave or just bite it already."

    But, like you said, sometimes a little thing can set it off, and it can overwhelm at times. I wouldn't say this is a frequent occurrence, it's just startling once it happens. Because what was once a slightly stinky guy in the corner is now a rampaging madman ripping all the pages out of the kids coloring books while everyone stares in horror until he passes out or is subdued by Dr. Manhattan [my Ti].
    Awesome! I understand completely.
    LOL! He's my favorite doctor!

  5. #15
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I am actually hyper aware and sensitive to accommodating guests properly...I just don't know how to do it and it causes me considerable distress; or I am completely oblivious and miss something that's apparently pretty important. Whenever friends would pop into my dorm uninvited I'd be secretly freaking out in my head. Do they want something to drink? Will they get mad at me if I don't? I'm playing video games are they going to want to play? What do they want? fjaklfjkldja" etc. I forget to introduce people when they're waiting for it...until it hits me and I say "OH yeah this is my gf...yeah..."

    ENTPs are probably a lot better at this.
    This is absolutely true for me.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  6. #16
    Pumpernickel
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    Yeah, I am definitely constantly worried about everyone enjoying themselves. I definitely try way harder than anyone ever should.

    This has nothing to do with whether you're an NT or not... I don't want my events to fail. I don't want ANYTHING I do to fail, who does?

  7. #17
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    You guys are crazy.

    I rarely concern myself with the social well-being of my friends during an outing. If they didn't want to be there, they wouldn't.

    Of course, I have few friends, so. . .

  8. #18
    Member TiNe_2_IP's Avatar
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    I reach for the stress pills whenever my husband utters the words 'shall we have some people over?'
    It takes me a week to psyche myself up to say yes and only after I have calculated food needs, time, weather, pms, lunar eclipses....Arghhh
    I clean like a mad woman, I mean who's going to look in my cutlery drawer to see if its clean?
    Then there's the cooking. I'm a pretty good cook but it's not my fav pasttime and I can't cook and talk at the same time so everything has to be done before guests arrive. And why do desserts that you have made many times for yourself never work out when you are doing them for someone else?

    None of this is helped by my xSFJ husband hovering and asking 'Have we got enough food?'
    'Plenty"
    'Are you sure, maybe I should just go and buy some....'
    'NO, you're freaking me out'

    After food has been consumed and the comments of 'that was delicious' are done with then I usually calm down and let my husband handle the social niceties while I hang out with the guests, though this might come across as being not the socially accepted order of things (most of our friends being SJ's) but by then I am past caring.

    Last year the family appointed Father as the social director of the family which entitled him to invite whomever he wanted over as long as he organized and cooked for it while we became the support staff. Interestingly, after the first couple of times, having guests over doesn't seem so necessary anymore.
    'It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here.... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.' Trinity

    Agent Brown: 'Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.'

    'Maybe the questions are right, we just don't like the answers'

  9. #19
    Senior Member LunarMoon's Avatar
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    INTJs and ENTJs care but generally not for the same reason that Fe-users do; they care because they would rather not fail at an endeavor. And ENTPs have tertiary Fe so are thus genuinely more concerned about the well-being of others than the other NTs. As for the final Rational, no self-respecting INTP would bother to throw a party. Seriously, they have neither the excessive zeal in seeing to the success of a project that the *NTJs have, nor the Fe that would cause an ENTP to actually care about the happiness of his guests. That's most likely why the vast majority of the NTs in this thread that claim not to care also happen to be INTP.
    Surgeons replace one of your neurons with a microchip that duplicates its input-output functions. You feel and behave exactly as before. Then they replace a second one, and a third one, and so on, until more and more of your brain becomes silicon. Since each microchip does exactly what the neuron did, your behavior and memory never change. Do you even notice the difference? Does it feel like dying? Is some other conscious entity moving in with you?
    -Steven Pinker on the Ship of Theseus Paradox

  10. #20
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I don't really feel responsible for making sure they have a good time, but I find that I cling to the role of hostess because it gives me something to do besides socialize.
    Something Witty

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