There is kind of an "inner INFP" in most INTJs (proportionate to how well Fi is developed). The way an INTJ's emotions work are very very similar to an INFP's, with one singular exception: INTJ's wall off their emotional selves from interacting with the world, which makes these emotional selves very childlike and easily hurt. (The emotions rely on the wall to keep from being hurt, rather than develop resiliency of their own. This same wall gives an outward appearance of emotionlessness and a general lack of empathy.)
This inner self loves listening to music, enjoying art, indulges in wild fantasy (though the specific kinds of music/art/fantasy/play are unique to the individual), and in general is very laid back and relaxed. We INTJs keep it locked in kind of a playground inside our heads. We're afraid that if we let it out, disaster will occur. When we do let it out, disaster often does occur, usually in the form of very hurt feelings, or neglecting essential responsibilities that have material consequences. This inner child is often very happy and loving, but irresponsible and easily hurt.
Thus, when we see you act all INFP, we see a kindred spirit, whom we admire all the more for being unafraid to express yourself. We would usually not make the choices you make, but we would like to. In a way, you give us permission to, for good or ill.
So you really don't need to change yourself to attract an INTJ guy. Mostly, you just need to be a bit more forward, because he won't chase you. Just be your sparkly self. Let yourself be fun and weird, and he'll probably get you, completely. (This was the turning point of my understanding of INFPs in MBTI ... I thought I ought to understand the INTPs and INFJs better, but I really didn't ... but I fully understood the INFP approach, no matter how random and illogical ... in spite of my own personal very logical non-randomness.)
The main problem you'll have is he will NOT be very demonstrative toward you unless you make him feel safe. Yes, I said "feel." Think in terms of gently coaxing that inner child out. And when that inner Fi self comes out to play, be very gentle, for those feelings are not as experienced as yours. Be careful not to emotionally dump on him, especially in this state, because he's vulnerable. Do your emotional venting when his more robust Ni/Te is in play.
Interestingly, the converse applies, with your Te vs his Te dom. When you have trouble reaching his Fi, just be patient and go through his mind, instead, via Te.