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  1. #121
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    I guess As, the question is-why do you feel you have to fit in? You seem like A pretty normal INTJ which means you will be kinda odd, no matter what. Now I suppose you could beat yourself up endlessly over this or just accept and understand what you are, and that you will always be different.
    Why ? The thing is that by US staandards I am really not that much wierd. However by my local standards I am quite wierd. Plus over internet the impact of my strong NTJ side is not that much obvious.
    Who said that I don't accept myself ? The thing is that I though that I can find more subtle solution but the more I think about it the more I am certain that I will just have to make myself a path.



    Recognize the great strength this gives you. INTJs can do exceptionally well in the world thanks to their strength and independance. You do exist somewhat seperately from others. You always will. But you can still accomplish whatever it is you seek to do. Recognize you will likely have a few very close emotional connections, but will be perceived as different by most folks in the world. That isnt bad, but maybe lonely a touch. I kinda know what you mean honestly.
    Maybe. But I think that it is not that simple. As I said if I live in the more normal country there would be another story.



    I tend to be this way towards grief as well honestly-especially expected deaths. If you anticipate the event and rationalize it I can see why it would be very easy to dismiss your pain. The deaths of the young or children upset me greatly. The deaths of the elderly evoke more a sense of fondness for them and love at their memory, but not profound sadness. It is the way of the world.

    To answer you question below. Judging form this there are good chance that you would have a problem with me. Since I would not have a serious emotional problem with sudden death of childern even if I had some very good moments in their presence. I guess that really intimidating thing about me is that it is really hard to have a impact on me.



    Can you elaborate on how you are scaring women-I recall you saying you can seem very intense at times. Yeah-perhaps what you are seeking isnt a tough skin in a partner-but instead complete acceptance of who you are-including your rough Te side and your social "flaws" as part of the package that you are. That is kinda ENFP land honestly. Cant speak for the ENFJs. But yeah, for me, if I care for you, I accept you for everything that you are and love you for all of those things. Your beauty lies in the reality of what you are, not what society expects. That would include all of the things society might consider flaws and problems-if they are true and authentic to YOU, then they are part of you and I would love them. Not to say i wont push you to become something more, but typically it will be what YOU want to be-not something I choose you to become.


    Because I am intense almost all the time. But I am calm as well at the same time. My deficit of empathy on emotinal level can be intimidating.
    I have a glow of a serial killer in my eyes what can be extra creepy in combination with my sense of humor. The fact I am in mid 20s and that I have never been in love scares them deeply. I always wear something dark.
    I walk 2-4 times faster than people around me. I am quite unspontaneous in general. I don't like most things that average guys likes over here but I don't give a nerdy vibe. Etc.

  2. #122
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post

    I tend to be this way towards grief as well honestly-especially expected deaths. If you anticipate the event and rationalize it I can see why it would be very easy to dismiss your pain. The deaths of the young or children upset me greatly. The deaths of the elderly evoke more a sense of fondness for them and love at their memory, but not profound sadness. It is the way of the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post

    To answer you question below. Judging form this there are good chance that you would have a problem with me. Since I would not have a serious emotional problem with sudden death of childern even if I had some very good moments in their presence. I guess that really intimidating thing about me is that it is really hard to have a impact on me.
    I think that I shoud explain this one a little bit better.


    The thing is that I wasn't naturally empathic as a INTJ child. But then the war came. In wihch they were killing children based on their last name.
    Also I started playing bloody and destructive video games at the age of 7.
    I grow up in fairly self-destructive environment.
    As Ni dom I am always taking things from global perspective so I don't need newspapers to remind me that every day 30 000 people starves to death.


    Here in personal threads ther is a thread called "Why I think that the world as we know it is doomed. " where I place stuff and explanations why current world is not susutainable from perspective of modern science. I mean this are my professional intrests. Feel free to check it out even if I am not done with that thread. If nothing pictures are providing good insight how I see the world.


    So as you can see you can look on my entire life as on one big horror movie. Which means that I never had the real need to develop my softer side. What reflects as a crappy Fi. What means that I have even more free space for "INTJness"


    The reason why I am doing all of this is because I am testing where I actually stand since I can't really open up to people. Which is becuse my view of things is simply .... I guess we can call it "Too dark". But I am tired of hidding most of thing that make me what I am to be honest.

  3. #123
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    it's probably good for you to write things out like this. it was helpful for me when i wrote my blog. this is opening up, right?

    there are things in this world that can overwhelm your fi... at least mine... but maybe you're not seeing things from a very balanced perspective, if your fi is overwhelmed?

    there is good in this world, also... there are chances for growth.
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  4. #124
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    it's probably good for you to write things out like this. it was helpful for me when i wrote my blog. this is opening up, right?

    there are things in this world that can overwhelm your fi... at least mine... but maybe you're not seeing things from a very balanced perspective, if your fi is overwhelmed?


    No.

    My Fi simply is not develoed for the most part or I simply am not in touch with it for the most part. On function tests Fi comes out as my 7th function. (if that means anything actually) Basicly it is the other way around since I tend to be overwhelming for their Fi or Fe usually.


    I am opening up exactly because I am not really sensitive so it is stupid to stay this way. It was actually fun but that is not the case any more.

    Also people of my age have become mature enough that they can handle me.
    Basicly it is the other way around since I tend to be overwhelming for their Fi or Fe usually.


    For example I took the time of finding another INTJ. Which does not find me "overwhelming" as it looks for now.

  5. #125
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    i can't really help you develop your fi... i can be there for you, if you want to go explore it, but i can't do that for you.

    you seem to want to do it, as you're talking about it. i mean, i could ask you questions, but i won't. you could ask yourself: how do i feel about this? maybe you could start with how you feel about your view of the world... does your fi find it scary, for example?

    i don't know, take what you want from this. good luck.
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  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antisocial one View Post
    I think that I shoud explain this one a little bit better.


    The thing is that I wasn't naturally empathic as a INTJ child. But then the war came. In wihch they were killing children based on their last name.
    This might be difficult for you, but how does that make you feel? Can you recall how you felt as a child about the war? Have you blocked it out (I have a feeling I've asked you this before)

    Also I started playing bloody and destructive video games at the age of 7.
    I grow up in fairly self-destructive environment.
    As Ni dom I am always taking things from global perspective so I don't need newspapers to remind me that every day 30 000 people starves to death.
    How does that make you feel? Do you think something should be done about it?

    Here in personal threads ther is a thread called "Why I think that the world as we know it is doomed. " where I place stuff and explanations why current world is not susutainable from perspective of modern science. I mean this are my professional intrests. Feel free to check it out even if I am not done with that thread. If nothing pictures are providing good insight how I see the world.
    Do you ever feel sad or depressed with the weight of the world being 'doomed.' It is possible that your Fi feels something about this and your Te response is to do something about it.


    So as you can see you can look on my entire life as on one big horror movie. Which means that I never had the real need to develop my softer side. What reflects as a crappy Fi. What means that I have even more free space for "INTJness"
    Actually, you have just as much need to develop your softer side as anyone, and may have shielded yourself from what you call your entire life as "one big horror movie." Are you in a place where you feel it is safe to deal with the emotions that you have from this experience?


    The reason why I am doing all of this is because I am testing where I actually stand since I can't really open up to people. Which is becuse my view of things is simply .... I guess we can call it "Too dark". But I am tired of hidding most of thing that make me what I am to be honest.
    The fact that you say that you're hiding what makes you what you are seems like a good step that you're already developing your Fi.

    The fact that you've repressed it given your experiences is totally understandable, Te makes much more sense in a crisis situation, but I also don't think it's a good idea for you to continue repressing your emo.

  7. #127
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    i can't really help you develop your fi... i can be there for you, if you want to go explore it, but i can't do that for you.

    you seem to want to do it, as you're talking about it. i mean, i could ask you questions, but i won't. you could ask yourself: how do i feel about this? maybe you could start with how you feel about your view of the world... does your fi find it scary, for example?

    i don't know, take what you want from this. good luck.
    How do I feel about this ? I would really like to be a somewhat warmer person.



    This might be difficult for you, but how does that make you feel? Can you recall how you felt as a child about the war? Have you blocked it out (I have a feeling I've asked you this before)
    To be honest war did not have that much of a impact on me. When you say
    "war" that sounds very dramatic. But it wasn't that much in my case.
    Ironicly the war time is the most social part of my life. Since before and after the war I was uber introvert. Also to be honest with you I think that video games did alot more damage than the war. Even if they are much less spectacular variable.



    But I can freely say that I have probaly become more cynical because of the war than in the case there was no war.



    How does that make you feel? Do you think something should be done about it?
    Well this is one of the situations where I usually hidde my opinion.
    Which is that I I think that the number of starvations is irrelevant fact.
    That is because enviromnet simply can't take all those people with current technology level since throught our activity we have started a number of chemical and physical processes. I mean this is something I have come across in college this is not something I just made up. Plus I took the time to research the topic further in the detail. So I am fairly certain in my claims.


    So my Ni/Te part is telling me pretty clearly to expect major problems in my life because of this. Since perservation of the world as it is, is unlikely scenario.



    Do you ever feel sad or depressed with the weight of the world being 'doomed.' It is possible that your Fi feels something about this and your Te response is to do something about it.

    Well I don't involve that much Fi in this at all. The problem is that when you say that something like "The world will have a hard time in the future" people usually think you are a little bit crazy. But to me this is some thing very real and it is unlikely that you will hear the whole truth on the TV.


    Actually, you have just as much need to develop your softer side as anyone, and may have shielded yourself from what you call your entire life as "one big horror movie." Are you in a place where you feel it is safe to deal with the emotions that you have from this experience?
    I have need to develop it. (and I am succeding to some degree)
    But I trully don't think that I have shielded myself that much. I trully think that I don't have it for the most part.


    The fact that you say that you're hiding what makes you what you are seems like a good step that you're already developing your Fi.
    By that I ment that I am hidding what I think it will happen in coming decades. Also since I can have a hard time relating I found that it is easier just to stay away.



    The fact that you've repressed it given your experiences is totally understandable, Te makes much more sense in a crisis situation, but I also don't think it's a good idea for you to continue repressing your emo
    .

    As I said previously a number of times in the thread. I am not repressing them. This is usually the case with NTs because they are uncomfortable with feelings. However I think that in my case something else is at play here.



    In my personal opinion I should learn how to relax. I am calm but I am not relaxed.

  8. #128
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    it's ok... i think when you start exploring your fi, it's good to take it slow.

    do you feel guilt, because of your apparent lack of feeling?

    i don't mind you sharing your views of the world. i think it's good to share them. have you talked to scientists about your views? have you explored the positive side of things?
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  9. #129
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yvonne View Post
    it's ok... i think when you start exploring your fi, it's good to take it slow.

    do you feel guilt, because of your apparent lack of feeling?

    i don't mind you sharing your views of the world. i think it's good to share them. have you talked to scientists about your views? have you explored the positive side of things?



    Well I have heard it from the real scientists in the first place and talked about it with some. (since I am in the process of becoming one)
    Also in this entire story there is very little of..... something positive. Since all trends seem to be quite negative. (if you take standard definitions of positive and negative of course)



    No I don't feel gulty because of this. However I would like to fall in love to be honest.

  10. #130
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    AO - are you sure there might not be some lingering PTSD from your war experiences? The intensity ("hypervigilance") you mention is a common symptom.

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