User Tag List

First 1234513 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 134

  1. #21
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    4,474

    Default

    Having dealt with quite a few (including starting a company with a well expressed one and being engaged to one)... the major qualities I've noticed;

    1) Supportive of those that are in their "inner circle"... and they use anyone who isn't. And in general, they know this and take pride in it (or just accept that as normal).

    2) Emotionally... naive. For a lack of better words, they have a real leap-frog approach to things. They don't like being uncertain. And emotions are pure uncertainty for them. My fiance is not the kind of person you go to for emotional support... my friend - hell no.

    3) To make up for the emotionally part, they are relentlessly active in helping... in practical terms. When something happens to you, they will salt the earth of the opposing faction.

    4) Unfortunately, this can happen to their "inner circle" when they decide you aren't worth their time. They tend to just cut people out, walk off... a very direct no-nonsense approach. At times this is good and needed... others, not so good. Letting them down is a good way for them to not consider you much of a friend. And letting them down can be very very subjective.

    Having said all that, they make great mates. Generally smart, dedicated and resourceful... and they take any relationship they are in, friend and more, very seriously.

  2. #22
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    TIGR
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    5,935

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post


    Alright little miss SJ! (Surely you saw that coming!)
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  3. #23
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,054

    Default

    Has it become redundant for me to state that I agree with pt yet?

    Though I do think we can get better at that emotion thing if we work at it.

  4. #24
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    4,474

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    Though I do think we can get better at that emotion thing if we work at it.
    Well, 13 years and counting with my friend... over 4 years and counting with Non.

    Any idea when I might be able to expect improvement?

    It seems to get better when INTJs hit their mid thirties and up, though... since I work with a couple at work, they seem to lose a lot of their... ego, or whatever bubble it is that passes for it. After that, they really calm down. Until then, everything is so dramatic... so intense.

  5. #25
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5/8
    Socionics
    ENTp None
    Posts
    4,754

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Having dealt with quite a few (including starting a company with a well expressed one and being engaged to one)... the major qualities I've noticed;

    1) Supportive of those that are in their "inner circle"... and they use anyone who isn't. And in general, they know this and take pride in it (or just accept that as normal).
    While my experiences certainly aren't universal, I can tell you that my inner circle is comprised of 2 people. I generally avoid personal entanglements, for the level of commitment they presume. I think this general quality is predominantly an I trait, while the remainder of the equation probably tailors itself to the NTJ signature.

    I take pains to avoid "using" people. I find little value in manipulation and would rather logically convince others to follow my lead.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    2) Emotionally... naive. For a lack of better words, they have a real leap-frog approach to things. They don't like being uncertain. And emotions are pure uncertainty for them. My fiance is not the kind of person you go to for emotional support... my friend - hell no.
    Indeed.

    Emotionally, I have a hard time sympathizing with other people. It isn't that I don't care; rather, I have a hard time deconstructing sentiment and diagramming into a meaningful perspective, relative to the ultimate "goal" of the operation.

    To this end, I find emotions generally encumbering.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    3) To make up for the emotionally part, they are relentlessly active in helping... in practical terms. When something happens to you, they will salt the earth of the opposing faction.
    This is also correct. I've never hated anyone more than my brother's enemy.

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    4) Unfortunately, this can happen to their "inner circle" when they decide you aren't worth their time. They tend to just cut people out, walk off... a very direct no-nonsense approach. At times this is good and needed... others, not so good. Letting them down is a good way for them to not consider you much of a friend. And letting them down can be very very subjective.
    I am reluctant to pass judgment. I've managed to equalize the Ti / Ni struggle better than most INTJs, I would imagine. I am congenial - but firm - with those whose interactions I care little for.

    I hesitate to align myself as "strictly" INTJ, as I differ in key areas from other INTJs.

    It isn't that I necessarily find the MBTI stifling. I prefer to think of personality as organic to the user, modifiable and transitional to the requirements of one's environment.

  6. #26
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,054

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    Well, 13 years and counting with my friend... over 4 years and counting with Non.

    Any idea when I might be able to expect improvement?
    I said when we work at it.

    Hey, have we found something to disagree on?

  7. #27
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    MBTI
    TIGR
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    5,935

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post
    2) Emotionally... naive. For a lack of better words, they have a real leap-frog approach to things. They don't like being uncertain. And emotions are pure uncertainty for them. My fiance is not the kind of person you go to for emotional support... my friend - hell no.
    This is true. It's not that I don't think they are incapable of being emotionally supportive, but you need to present your case well in order to receive this from them.
    4) Unfortunately, this can happen to their "inner circle" when they decide you aren't worth their time. They tend to just cut people out, walk off... a very direct no-nonsense approach. At times this is good and needed... others, not so good. Letting them down is a good way for them to not consider you much of a friend. And letting them down can be very very subjective.
    One thing I will say is that my Husband and I never argue. It's not that I haven't tried, but he just won't do it! It used to frustrate me to no end that whenever I would become emotional, there would be no response. lol! Now I rarely bother. :rolleyes2:

    Having said all that, they make great mates. Generally smart, dedicated and resourceful... and they take any relationship they are in, friend and more, very seriously.
    Agreed
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #28
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,054

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    I take pains to avoid "using" people. I find little value in manipulation
    That's just because you haven't gotten good at it yet.

  9. #29
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    4,474

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Night View Post
    While my experiences certainly aren't universal, I can tell you that my inner circle is comprised of 2 people.
    Heh, you beat my fiance with 1. 2, if you include me.

    I take pains to avoid "using" people. I find little value in manipulation and would rather logically convince others to follow my lead.
    INTJs come in two flavors.

    1) Those that use people and know it.

    2) Those that use people and don't know it.

    I have yet to see a different style from any NTJ, no matter what age and how mature. However, the connotation to "use" might be the problem... NTJs help others help them, so it's not like a targetted "I'm going to use you then leave you". It has more of a tool approach - use me, use you, achieve goals.

    The unhealthy ones do it short sighted (achieve immediate goal), but the other ones maintain a friendship and make it a two way street.

    But the mentality is always the same. Outside the inner circle, you are either useful or not... there is no middle ground. Some allowances are made for the inner circle, but you better be useful - or just out of their way.


    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    I said when we work at it.

    Hey, have we found something to disagree on?

    Well, I'll give you that it may be possible no INTJ I know has ever worked on it

    (Though, to be fair, my friend has mellowed out now that he's married, so there is change. Now he's raising chickens to take over the world... well, that's his plan. I wish I was kidding. This is a guy with a degree in physics something or another, did systems testing for US defense systems... and wants to buy a ranch and raise chickens. INTJs... I'm sorry, you guys leap around. It's crazy at times.)

    I'm sure we disagree on many things...



    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    This is true. It's not that I don't think they are incapable of being emotionally supportive, but you need to present your case well in order to receive this from them.
    I meant more like... say... when your dog dies. Something purely emotional in which there is no real comfort to be had. The joke here, of course, is that I told non to just stop talking and hold me in that exact situation.

    I didn't talk to my other friend about it much, but his answer was "Oh yah, that happened to me too. Where did you want to eat?" kind of thing.

  10. #30
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5/8
    Socionics
    ENTp None
    Posts
    4,754

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ptgatsby View Post


    INTJs come in two flavors.

    1) Those that use people and know it.

    2) Those that use people and don't know it.

    I have yet to see a different style from any NTJ, no matter what age and how mature. However, the connotation to "use" might be the problem... NTJs help others help them, so it's not like a targetted "I'm going to use you then leave you". It has more of a tool approach - use me, use you, achieve goals.

    The unhealthy ones do it short sighted (achieve immediate goal), but the other ones maintain a friendship and make it a two way street.

    But the mentality is always the same. Outside the inner circle, you are either useful or not... there is no middle ground. Some allowances are made for the inner circle, but you better be useful - or just out of their way.
    Ah - qualifying it removes some of the hang-ups.

    I think you are probably correct in your connection between utility and permanence, as INTJ relationships are concerned. I find that I run "diagnostic" checks on portions of my life not performing to expectation and work to either repair - or sever - inefficiences.


    Does your fiance experience any level of (wanton) perfectionism? I have a horrific rage-to-dominate (probably unresolved J elements) that can sometimes infect my prerogatives.

Similar Threads

  1. First impression of the poster above you.
    By Lady_X in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 4030
    Last Post: 12-13-2017, 04:33 PM
  2. [INTJ] How to make the best use of the INTJ characteristics when looking for a girl friend
    By gandalf in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-01-2015, 06:52 AM
  3. What is the general perception of an INTJ?
    By busology in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 07-23-2011, 10:11 AM
  4. The Dark Side of the INTJ
    By AgentF in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 160
    Last Post: 03-05-2011, 09:33 AM
  5. [INTJ] Understanding the functions of the INTJ
    By ByTheTime in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-03-2009, 12:40 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO