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[NT] Mother of NT's

purplesunset

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
113
Enneagram
4w5
Women, regardless of their previous type become ISFJ upon motherhood...or at least ISFJ-like.

ISFJ qualities create the upright protective mom who combines Si's need for the comfort and security of tradition, with Fe's natural empathy, caring and organizing. They are the stereotypical home-makers.

This is based on unreliable anecdotal evidence, but I think a combination of instincts, and society's expectations play a role in this.

My mom's an ISFJ, and from reading through threads on this topic, it sure seems like there's a ton of ISFJ moms out there.

I don't think they're all ISFJ's, they either naturally fall into that role, or feel that they need to become that way due to societal pressure.
 

Lux

Kraken down on piracy
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
1,458
Women, regardless of their previous type become ISFJ upon motherhood...or at least ISFJ-like.

ISFJ qualities create the upright protective mom who combines Si's need for the comfort and security of tradition, with Fe's natural empathy, caring and organizing. They are the stereotypical home-makers.

This is based on unreliable anecdotal evidence, but I think a combination of instincts, and society's expectations play a role in this.

My mom's an ISFJ, and from reading through threads on this topic, it sure seems like there's a ton of ISFJ moms out there.

I don't think they're all ISFJ's, they either naturally fall into that role, or feel that they need to become that way due to societal pressure.

I don't agree with this. I think you can maintain your own identity and still be a good mother. Whichever "type" you started out as.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
I don't agree with this. I think you can maintain your own identity and still be a good mother. Whichever "type" you started out as.

I'm with Lux, my own mum was very much an ENFP.... no iffs of buts.

The SJ thing is just that - they are a huge chun of the population
 

TheMonocle

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Messages
37
I can tell you that it's not as easy as moms make it out to be. My house is split even. 50/50 -NT/NF. I'm outnumbered 3 to 1 in the gender department and everyone outside of my family seems to be STJ oriented. I've never seen more order, tasks, lists, goals, schedules, procedures... ahhhh it makes my head spin at times. There are points where I have completely lost it in a preemptive spontaneity strike. "Today we are going to have some fun whether you like it or not!" People look at me like I've lost my mind and I really don't care.

I appreciate the balance an NT can offer. Especially an ENTJ husband, but there are times where I sit back from a distance and watch the amount of "doing/planning/evaluating" and wonder... Do you even realize that you could really use a massage and some time to just kick back and relax? Oh wait... maybe that's me. :) Cabo here I come! Ahhhh to build a sandcastle on my own time...

I am much more than the role that has been assigned to me as "Mom." Children need to see that too. It's good for them to see a balance of responsibility and enjoyment in personal life.
 

shmrie

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
25
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I'm fairly certain my mom is an ESFP and she's pretty much awesome

She is generally pretty chill, but can become strict when she needs to. also, if she feels that she has been wronged, she turns into a very strong woman, with a whole lot of biting sarcasm, which is useful, but scary as hell if you're on the receiving end
 

milkyway2

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
?
INFP. Very nice, caring, loving, religious, loves God, overprotective, also extremely rational and logical at times, but in the end turns to feeilngs instead of logic. I've considered that she's an INTP, but I think INFP fits better.
 
S

sammy

Guest
My mom is an ESFJ.

She and I have had a very bumpy road together. Been through a lot as a team against the world, in a way. We have a very close relationship as a result, but we also don't understand one another that well.

When we argue, we end up saying the exact same thing in a different way (which my ENFP cousin likes to point out to us when the occasional argument happens). I know how to make her laugh without trying hard, and her antics and mistakes make me shake my head in wonder, but I always help her to the best of my ability. I'm her troubleshooter. Even with her relationship with my dad, an ISTP, I often translate for both of them what the other meant. Otherwise, I sit and listen in amusement to them talking in circles, with my dad teasing her, making things worse sometimes haha.

I'm always going to have power-struggles with her, but I know she means well :wub: She never says she loves me, but her actions speak more than words ever could.
 

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
ISFx. Caring, but scared of so many things, and unable to have a fulfilling life because of overwhelming fear of failure and judgements. Wonderful musician though, and a very nurturing mother. Overprotective and sometimes a bit nuts. We get along now that we have some distance but during the teen years it was hell - she thought I was a robot, I thought she was a nutjob!
 

Windigo

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2009
Messages
446
ENFJ or ENTJ. Probably the former, but the latter would make more sense as she's married to my ISFJ dad. Actually, maybe ENTJ.

One of those.

They are supposed to be dualities. How is their relationship?

purplesunset said:
Women, regardless of their previous type become ISFJ upon motherhood...or at least ISFJ-like.

Hahahahahahahahah!

ObeyBunny said:
My mom's an ENTP, but she acts like an ENTJ.
Honey . . . is that you????

My mom strongest ESTP b**** on the block!!!!
 

thescientist

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
254
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
ESFJ...overprotective, highly anxious, always played the victim card. Very loving and caring though. There for me always.
 

thescientist

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
254
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
ESFJ...had to cut my own ties because she certainly wasn't planning on doing any cutting. Get along better now that the independence thing is behind us and I am more mature (like with Jennifer's mother, she doesn't seem to be able to crawl into my world, so now I have learned to crawl into hers from time to time). She's at the same time domineering and child-like (ish). I appreciate the warmth and the support and I encourage her to be herself (I think she has been starved for Fe in her marriage to an INTJ...literally most of the time a kind word is all it takes to solve something). It's good to have an F parent around now that I'm developing my feely side more. I just make sure my boundaries are in place.

Strangely enough I've never had the feeling that she wanted me to be different.

We're so similar! Same parent types here too! Independence thing was ALWAYS an issue...still is!
 

PuddleRiver

It's always something...
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
2,923
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w6
I'm a mother of an INTP. We generally get along very well except for getting him off his arse and taking care of things!!

Well, I feel better.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
LOL!

I'm the mother of at least one and possibly three NTs. I'm pretty sure my eldest is an INTJ and that my youngest is an INTP, but my third still confuses me. He seems to be an extroverted thinker but I'm not sure about the other stuff. Second child is almost certainly an INFP.

I am fairly protective and have a few hard boundaries, but I'm pretty much a softy otherwise. The INTP is the heavy around these parts.

I do not look forward to the motivational issues I'm sure to face with my youngest boy within the next ten years. If you come up with any pointers, AllAboutSoul, please send them my way!
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
My mom's an ENTP, but she acts like an ENTJ.

I think most of us act that way when we are forced to be the one "in charge". I hate that feeling but I can do it well. I am most certainly the J one at home.

My mom is an ESFJ.

She and I have had a very bumpy road together. Been through a lot as a team against the world, in a way. We have a very close relationship as a result, but we also don't understand one another that well.

When we argue, we end up saying the exact same thing in a different way (which my ENFP cousin likes to point out to us when the occasional argument happens). I know how to make her laugh without trying hard, and her antics and mistakes make me shake my head in wonder, but I always help her to the best of my ability. I'm her troubleshooter. Even with her relationship with my dad, an ISTP, I often translate for both of them what the other meant. Otherwise, I sit and listen in amusement to them talking in circles, with my dad teasing her, making things worse sometimes haha.

I'm always going to have power-struggles with her, but I know she means well :wub: She never says she loves me, but her actions speak more than words ever could.

I get along well, but not well, with ESFJs for the same reason.
ENTP: Ne Ti Fe Si
ESFJ: Fe Si Ne Ti

Same functions, but swapped. So in conversations, we say/mean the same things just differently. And it can be really good or really bad. My ESFJ sis-in-law always says that we wear the same clothes, but just rock them differently - and it's really true. We have such similar tastes but I would never instinctively pair x with y the way she does.
 
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