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Thread: Mother of NT's

  1. #51
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    My mother's an NF, probably an ENFJ. We get along most of the time, but because of her extremely strong J my messiness/lack of organisation is a major point of contention between us. I also find that she can be fairly illogical at times - if we get into a political debate for example, I notice that her arguments hold no water. Like a few people have said, she can be somewhat emotionally manipulative when under stress and has lost all patience.
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  2. #52
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    ISTJ with well developed tertiary functions. you can only tell shes ISTJ by how reacts in stressful situations...which, having me for a kid, she's been doing half her life

    doesnt apper ISTJ so to her kids though; lots of F though for the kids though the nasty T kicks our butts when the kids get a bit too much

  3. #53
    Member TiNe_2_IP's Avatar
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    I found it really difficult to type my mother until I read a description re the potential problem areas of ISFP's - she has most of them.
    I swing between feeling really sad that her life was so stunted somewhere along the line and just wanting to walk away from her and never having to deal with her again.

    A more self-absorbed and immature woman I have yet to meet. She will say things like 'I wish I'd never been born' to us her children, if confronted by anything emotional.
    Of course she has had her good moments but unfortunately the relationship bank account was well overdrawn by the time I got to adulthood. I decided to wipe the bad debt at a certain point in my life just because I had 'been born'. Unfortunately, just recently she overdrew on the account for no reason I could justifiably overlook this time and when called upon to 'pay up' (apologize) - something else I have yet to hear her do without justifications and excuses - her solution was to stop speaking to me.
    Be careful what you wish for I guess.
    I do seriously think she may have an undiagnosed mental disorder of some kind, she has been on anti-depressants for many years.

    Other people who are only acquainted with her always tell me how nice my mum is. My sister in law says she thinks my mum is wise, though I'm starting think she is baiting me or just incredibly stupid. The only thing wise about her is her name - Wiseman, acquired through another very unwise choice in life.
    'It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here.... The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.' Trinity

    Agent Brown: 'Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions.'

    'Maybe the questions are right, we just don't like the answers'

  4. #54
    Senior Member Ism's Avatar
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    My mom tested as an ESFJ, and though she's really competitive, she would lose her head if it wasn't attached. "Losing" the phone and keys is a regular event, and she always gets so stressed about it, haha.

    But we get along quite well! Two peas in a pod, if you will. I share her sense of humor, and we laugh a lot together, but we probably wouldn't interact if she weren't my mom due to our contrasting personalities. Sure, sometimes she nags me, and sometimes I frustrate her, but that's normal.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TiNe_2_IP View Post
    I found it really difficult to type my mother until I read a description re the potential problem areas of ISFP's - she has most of them.
    I swing between feeling really sad that her life was so stunted somewhere along the line and just wanting to walk away from her and never having to deal with her again.

    A more self-absorbed and immature woman I have yet to meet. She will say things like 'I wish I'd never been born' to us her children, if confronted by anything emotional.
    Of course she has had her good moments but unfortunately the relationship bank account was well overdrawn by the time I got to adulthood. I decided to wipe the bad debt at a certain point in my life just because I had 'been born'. Unfortunately, just recently she overdrew on the account for no reason I could justifiably overlook this time and when called upon to 'pay up' (apologize) - something else I have yet to hear her do without justifications and excuses - her solution was to stop speaking to me.
    Be careful what you wish for I guess.
    I do seriously think she may have an undiagnosed mental disorder of some kind, she has been on anti-depressants for many years.

    Other people who are only acquainted with her always tell me how nice my mum is. My sister in law says she thinks my mum is wise, though I'm starting think she is baiting me or just incredibly stupid. The only thing wise about her is her name - Wiseman, acquired through another very unwise choice in life.


    I'm not laughing at your situation, which sounds truly frustrating, but the way you've told it. You have narrative skills. And, welcome to the forums.

  6. #56
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    Both my parents have tested as ENTJ, they are both very open minded and non authoritive but my mother can be a bit protective, not that it was uncalled for as an ENTP i sure have been wild and crazy, crashing motorbikes, going away for days at a time without a word getting drunk, high etc. doing lots of martial arts and leaving for thailand with barley any money doing thaiboxing and so on.

    Although she is scared and protective, not so much my father, they where never controlling and both are really good tecahers.

    aswell i have a sister thats ENTP a brother thats ENTJ aswell as two other brothers thats about ten years old.

  7. #57
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    The Mother of NT's :

    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #58
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    Very much a softer type. Very spiritual. I'm fairly sure she is an INFP.
    (removed)

  9. #59
    Senior Member redsox44344's Avatar
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    My mom is surely some kind of ExFJ, probably an ESFJ, and she is one of the most annoying people I will ever meet. Sure, I love her, but having extremely different values on top of the fact that she has utmost control over my life is debilitating. Well, not really debilitating, but I've had a recurring theme of feeling like a bird with its wings clipped. My father and I are much more similar.
    If you were to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

  10. #60
    Junior Member equanimity's Avatar
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    Mine's an ISFP.
    She's really self absorbed and always pins all her unrealistic expectations on me.
    From the time I was four, she put me in stupid classes I never liked.
    It started with ballet classes at four (I'm a girl ... =D) and it ended when I was ten..
    After six long years of getting dragged to class after getting beaten up by her that is.
    Her reason to lay a finger on me? - It's my fault for not cherishing whatever shit she threw at me, because I was living her dream.. what she wanted as a kid she couldn't get, so she threw it all at me.
    Sure she was caring in her way.... though,
    In all the wrong ways, with all the wrong reasons.
    Paranoid and delusional? Check.

    She's pretty quiet,keeps things to herself, but overbearing all the same. She would throw a silly tantrum like a child in public places - whenever you don't do as she says, irrational behavior follow soon after.
    And I never had a say in anything. She would deem them as stupid. Then again, who is she to judge? Everyone has a different perception, likes, dislikes, wants and desires. She would always lament about how, "I want the best for my children!" and,
    "Never let anyone look down on you!" <-- that would refer to my relatives, my father's side that is.
    Oh yeah, ISFP mom and ESFP dad. Worked out terribly, I guess it wasn't because of their personality. But how stubborn they were and never sorted their issues out but built them up till one day all of it just erupted - all of the anger and pain, they would vent on the children. One's physical, the other uses mental torture.. oh right, not forgetting the excessive use of religion and condemning their kids to hell.
    Oversensitive? Check.
    Unreasonable? Check.


    Right now? I'm still a tool for their manipulation and games for amusement.
    She used to use guilt manipulation to get to me..
    One moment she's all :
    "Oh if I never married that lousy piece of trash, your father! I would still be well off now! If you were never born, I wouldn't have a stupid child like you!"

    The next moment, she tries to smother me with "love" but really? :
    "You could be so much more, if you only tried harder! If you listened to me! If you had listened to me on getting in those classes! (Oh and how she ends it off is really ironic.) I love you!".
    And whenever I didn't give her a response and just hid under the bed (Because really... I can't go about saying it back to her. Why should I?), she would wait till my father was home... and they would get violent. All the lies,dirty deeds... whatever shit that made them broken... I was exposed to it all. And it was a cause-and-effect thing really, after they were done fighting he would drag me into it and it starts all over... again.

    When I was a little kid, this used to make me feel guilt-ridden... It made me feel like I was never doing enough.. And that she was pitiful, my father never did his part - and she's punishing me for his mistakes.

    But now I know that whatever I do is never enough for her.
    The effort you put into your work? If it isn't done by HER WAY, it's trash to her. Your interests? If it's seen as ridiculous to her, it's trash to her.
    The A's you get in school, she would compare them with others - relatives and friends.

    But why do I care about that anymore really? I don't.. yet the road ahead is still so rocky and danger still lies.
    I'm not even sure if I can ever prove to this damn dysfunctional family that I'm worth something ... maybe throw loads of money in her gullible face and walk off. We'll see.
    Manipulative? Check.

    Maybe it's just her and not any other ISFPs ofcourse, I've always had the idea that she had afew mental illnesses... but she never visits a shrink. She's stubborn... a very overbearing woman.

    I'm probably as damaged as her, but there's one thing I know... and it's that I'll never be how she was to her kids.
    I'd be a good mother. Whatever their personality is, I will accept them.. let them have their own say, and just guide them along the way... Sometimes ignorance is bliss. And if children can't be children, what's the point of a childhood?
    Everyone's an individual, so treat them as that - and not pin your silly delusional desires on them.

    One day... I will be free. I may not always succeed in whatever I do, But I like to think I try... and If I don't, I'm young.. unattached... not a burden to anyone.. I do have afew close friends, but they'll live if I'm gone... what's there to lose really?

    So yeah, this NT's mother is one hell of a "role model".

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