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  1. #11
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Hi

    Thought this might be helpful... it's not the version I wanted to find but as near as I could.

    The origin of the saying #appears to date back to a story told about King Solomon. It is said that the King, feeling blue, asked his advisors to find him a ring he had seen in a dream. "When I feel satisfied Im afraid that it wont last. And when I dont, I am afraid my sorrow will go on forever. Find me the ring that will ease my suffering."

    Eventually an advisor met an old jeweler who carved into a simple gold band the Hebrew inscription "gam zeh yaavor" "this too shall pass."

    When the king received his ring and read the inscription his sorrows turned to joy and his joy to sorrows, and then both gave way to equanimity. More recently the saying has been popularized in the West by spiritual leaders imported from or inspired by the East, including Ram Dass, the Dali Lama and Tich Nhat Hanh.

    Hope you feel more at peace

  2. #12
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Thanks, I wouldn't even say it's hard, I would simply say it isn't always easy. I also think it comes down to your expectations, if you go into it willing to learn from everything, not expecting all to be great but embracing both the bad days for the growth they offer and the good for the joy they bring. Well, it sure does make things a lot easier.
    Very wise.

  3. #13
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    what causes these insecurities?
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  4. #14
    Senior Member Valuable_Money's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Samvega View Post
    Hmmmmm, I don't even know what to say, I don't need help or advice, this is my life and I will find my way. I'm not depressed, upset, bitter, angry, frustrated or even sad. I'm just lost and sometimes I feel defeated and I am confused, I don't know what to do now or which direction to go and I'm really scared I'm making mistakes. I know these feelings are ones we all have, I know I'm not alone. I have great friends I love and care about and I'm almost always charming, charismatic and jovial, happy for each day I have but still, here's the story.

    April 2007 I ended my marriage. I had to walk away from the woman I had been with for 9 years and my three kids. I of course didn't walk away from my kids but I had to let go of that dream I had of a family. I had to just let go, the woman fine, I can deal with that but the kids, phawk that was too much for me. My ex has a wonderful heart and she's a good but very lost woman with the worst childhood of anybody I'd ever met. Some people get sexually abused, some physically, some emotionally, she got them all.

    This started a year long road of figuring out who I was, trying to fill voids in my life with women and for the most part would have been VERY unpleasant if I wasn't so growth oriented. Because I hold myself accountable for everything the inevitable question of why I picked the woman I did was bound to come up and I didn't like that answers. I figured while I was cleaning house I would do it all you know, not avoid anything, not run, not hide, just face it and become a person I loved, that other people could love. A better father, friend, child and human being, one I was proud to be.

    So it became clear, my insecurities, I picked her for many of the wrong reasons my insecurities being up there. She was damaged (in my mind I was going to "fix" her) in the eyes of many so I didn't feel this pressure I would ruin her life because I always end up feeling like I'm so messed up I'm not going to be any good for somebody. She was needy so she became dependent on me for so many things making me feel more secure. Wow, I'm crying as I type this, I was just a kid you know, I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know any better. Even though that's no longer me I still did it, sitting here looking at a blurred screen through tears of the past. Well, I have used these tears to water the seeds of my future all the same. I know I had codependency issues from my parents relationship, I just faced it all, alone. That's all fine, I dug deep, shinned a light on the worst shadows of myself and I cleaned house. I fixed me and I am proud of the person I have become, I am somebody I love and I have this huge heart I want to share with somebody.

    But now, I'm sitting here, tears running down my face, positive still, happy still but so lost. I have no idea where to go, in everything I've learned about myself I have let go of the things that motivate most from television and money to owning things and impressing people. What do you do when your motivation in life is to grow and become more self aware, I have no job, I'm so totally broke it isn't funny and I don't want anything. These are positive things, I'm happy to feel this way but it also leaves me feeling like I have no direction.

    I just want to go home right now, I wanna go home and feel safe and warm and loved and cared about and understood and have it all be unconditional. I know, we all want this, I just don't have a home and I need to rebuild one and I'm pretty scared and I don't know what to do next. I'm scared that I'll mess up again and ruin somebody, I'm scared, this wasn't here when I was younger but it is now.

    So tomorrow, you know what I'll do? I'm going to wake up happy to be alive, I'm going to smile, enjoy a shower and the smell of my organic soap. I'm going to see a blue sky full of sun, take in a deep breath and start my day. I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter how scared I get, no matter how lost I think I may be, no matter how confused or anything else. I will keep on going because I don't need it all to be good, I don't need to always know where I'm going and in the end, if you hold on too hard on the bumpy roads you're going to feel like a long ride. It just isn't always an easy thing to do and it doesn't seem like many people wanna wake up and live instead of just existing.

    I can't proof this, I don't think it's anything more than a foolish ramble but I can't read what I wrote, it was what I felt but if I read it my Ti will never let me post it so I'm sorry for typos. I'm also sorry if I didn't write this as a full story or I forgot details like I no longer talk to my parents and haven't in over a year since addressing the issues we had.

    Writing is hard for me and leaves me at a solid 60% handi-cap, processing Fe is hard for me. The latter I've done so much of the past couple years most people that get to know me question my ENTP status but it's still VERY energy consuming.

    I'm okay I promise and please don't respond trying to help me because it would make me uncomfortable. I needed to let this out, to say that I'm so scared sometimes I wanna give up, that I'm so unsure of what to do I wanna do nothing but I just keep at it and it becomes easier and easier though not always comfortable. I think this was brought on by some huge changes and uncertainty in my life at the moment, it's positive I'm fairly sure but all change, even change for the better comes with discomfort .
    You left your wife even though you admit shes a good person.

    You feel bad about this.

    That is your problem
    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh? wgah'nagl fhtagn

  5. #15
    Buddhist Misanthrope Samvega's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valuable_Money View Post
    You left your wife even though you admit shes a good person.

    You feel bad about this.

    That is your problem
    Good sir, you need a little more life under your belt still, think, speak, think some more. You're young, you need to learn that instead of the speak, think, speak some more approach you're taking.

    Maybe this will allow you to see something I would think was second nature to an ENTP, to see possibilities.

    "Codependency"

    I miss the disfunction, the rush, the adrenaline...the codependency that has you convinced the more you hurt the deeper you love. I'm moving forward so fast that I can't look back without crashing but I want just one more hit. I want to feel it again, alive, I want to feel alive again. Those fights were amazing, upset stomach, blood in my spit from from the emotions pouring out of my mouth. I wanna feel it suck me in, I want to be right in the middle of another battle were the only soldiers lost are the future years of a healthy relationship. Now healthy just feels so normal, nothing, flat. How could it ever compare? Am I ruined for life because of this? Yes, of course there was fire in bed, with that much fuel, so much anger of course there was a fire and it was huge and out of control. Love can pass itself off as so many things, love can convince you of so much, blind you and take over every single ounce of your true you. There was a day I looked at you and wanted to consume you, this isn't a figurative statement, I wanted...to consume you. Just take a bite of you so you were always there. I felt like I couldn't function without you, without us, without me taking care of you. Us gives me focus, purpose, a reason to live and it was all love, I swear it was all done out of love. There was no insecurity, there was no manipulation, no wanting to control you, own you or anything else it was all love! It was love and I won't accept anything else as the cause.

    Now I'm in the clear, in a clear head, clean body, fresh mind, lifted spirits and nothing to cloud my judgement. I lived, I survived the hardest choice I've ever had to make in my life. The world didn't end and you are a better person today without my foot on your neck. I was so scared to have things change, so scared I would have done whatever I could to prevent it. It was all done out of love my ass, it was all born from the darkest, ugliest most insecure place of my being. I have shined the brightest light I could find on that place so that mistake is learned from and never repeated. I don't know this world, I don't know it's people. I know me and couldn't venture a guess at why seeing the light for some is sadly a 100 year lesson. I'm thankful it wasn't for me, I'm thankful for you and for our children. We can all get out of this shadow and I hope grow, apart, together, whatever but grow. For my roll I'm sorry, it was the idea of love that put us in this spot but it was true love that got us out of it. To any outsider, it wouldn't be seen that way but it's what's in my heart that counts. Sometimes loving means being willing to walk away.

  6. #16
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valuable_Money View Post
    You left your wife even though you admit shes a good person.

    You feel bad about this.

    That is your problem

  7. #17
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Don't get bogged down with trying to answer what is next, answer instead: how.

    How do you think you can alleviate feeling lost, defeated and confused?

    You are a buddhist, I see. Well, they say that ties to the material world binds us, sometimes, too tightly. Maya. Illusion. Most of us are not fit to give up this material world, which is okay. Just acknowledge that when those moments come, inevitably, where you glimpse the sleight of hand of the maya, it brings a lot of confusion and restriction. It is the price, and the glory, of such a state of life.

    Don't fight it, unless you can truly give up this world. Just acknowledge, and move on.....to the how.

    How can you be useful to this world? To the people that you cherish? How can you make tomorrow count in your mind? How?

    Not what, how.

    Manifest.

    Karma.

  8. #18
    Alexander the Terrible yenom's Avatar
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    I think you dwell on your feelings too much.
    We all suffer pain and loss in life.
    In spite of this, we need to move on. There are better things ahead of you.

  9. #19

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    You are beyond beautiful. I'm here for you.

  10. #20
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Don't get bogged down with trying to answer what is next, answer instead: how.

    How do you think you can alleviate feeling lost, defeated and confused?

    You are a buddhist, I see. Well, they say that ties to the material world binds us, sometimes, too tightly. Maya. Illusion. Most of us are not fit to give up this material world, which is okay. Just acknowledge that when those moments come, inevitably, where you glimpse the sleight of hand of the maya, it brings a lot of confusion and restriction. It is the price, and the glory, of such a state of life.

    Don't fight it, unless you can truly give up this world. Just acknowledge, and move on.....to the how.

    How can you be useful to this world? To the people that you cherish? How can you make tomorrow count in your mind? How?

    Not what, how.

    Manifest.

    Karma.
    That's a really cool way of looking at it. I like it. How. I, too, often get caught up in the 'what' and the 'why' and the overanalyzing of everything, including myself.

    To the OP - You'll figure it out. It's just a difficult, confusing road sometimes.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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