So, I broke up with my ex a month ago. I was in denial for the first two weeks after the break-up, pining for her and under the illusion that things didn't change much, and that maybe, maybe one day we could be together one day again (we even texted and called each other).
Those two weeks, as you may guess, were miserable, and when talking to my friends about my ex, I always justified her behavior in some way ("Yes, what she did was wrong, but if you look at it from a different way ..") and upholding her character strengths, despite her apparent weaknesses (which contributed to my breaking up with her).
Anyway, well into the end of the second week of the break-up, my friend told me, "you should stop talking to her and about her" and illustrated the example of her own ex, who was equally charismatic and manipulative as mine. At first I protested, making excuses for my ex's behavior and reminding my friend that my ex did some wonderful things, but then I slept on what my friend told me, and the next day I emailed my ex to not contact me ever again.
It has now been two weeks since the email, and I'm surprisingly coping very well over the break-up. Yes, sometimes I do think of my ex, and of the lovely memories we had, but for the most part, she has become an abstract thought at the back of my mind. Most of the time I don't really remind myself of the things that we did together, and at the rare times I am suddenly transported back to these memories (and we did have great, emotionally-intense , exciting ones), I feel an emotional disconnect towards these experiences and shrug it off.
I think it helps that I've always had my own strong character even before my ex came into my life, my passionate interests and hobbies, but I can't help but think that I am cold for getting over her so soon.
Is this the (in)famous INTP 'All or Nothing' characteristic?
I've had this experiences with a few other people in my life, but they were my best friends. I was extra attentive towards them, but when I realized that they did me wrong, and those mistakes were unforgivable, I shut the door towards them and never looked back.
Can any of you relate to this? Or am I just unnaturally cold?
And to non-INTPs, do you regard INTPs as cold?