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  1. #11
    Senior Member Robert165's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Specifically if they've shown signs of reliability in the past then starting becoming really flaky?
    i miss read that
    if they used to be reliable
    you need to find out what changed....
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/robert165/

    I'm just trying to do this Jigsaw puzzle, before it rains anymore.

  2. #12
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Specifically if they've shown signs of reliability in the past then starting becoming really flaky?
    I don't rely on them or ask anything of them and if they remain flaky, I'll ask what's wrong. If nothing improves or the situation is not improvable, I move on. This is, of course, assuming that I rely on people. Which is unusual.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #13
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Sell their minced meat as pet food.
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  4. #14
    That chalkboard guy Matthew_Z's Avatar
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    Unreliable is really a misnomer. In the context of this question, one can rely on the fact of another's "unreliableness" and use it as adequate justification to not rely on them being "reliable." If it is given that one cannot complete a task assigned, then it follows that it would be inadvisable to trust them to do what they clearly cannot.
    If a deaf INFP falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

  5. #15
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew_Z View Post
    Unreliable is really a misnomer. In the context of this question, one can rely on the fact of another's "unreliableness" and use it as adequate justification to not rely on them being "reliable." If it is given that one cannot complete a task assigned, then it follows that it would be inadvisable to trust them to do what they clearly cannot.
    I don't know wtf ever made you doubt that you were INTP.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  6. #16
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    self doubt in ones own abilities, could be doubt in a decision, maybe its not truly what is wanted. what kind of instance or situation are they being unreliable or what are they doing that is coming across to you as unreliable?

  7. #17
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    A person is unreliable if they repeatedly fail to do what they have agreed to. I find it detrimental to interact with people like that and will try to minimize it.

  8. #18
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    People don't generally work up histories with me. Doesn't matter how reliable you were in the past, that was then this is now. I look at each situation for what it is worth.

    To answer the question, how do you deal with unreliable people? I don't.

  9. #19
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    I don't know wtf ever made you doubt that you were INTP.
    I was thinking the exact same thing when I read his post. Matthew Z, that really was a prototypical INTP response if I ever saw one.

  10. #20
    Theta Male Julius_Van_Der_Beak's Avatar
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    I'm not sure this is relevant for you, but when I grow impatient with people, I suspect it has more to do with my attitude towards myself. It stems, I think, from a tendency to be too hard on myself. To judge myself too harshly for making mistakes.

    I used to not see any problem with this. I used to think it helped me do things better, helped me become a stronger individual. I also reasoned that, if a side-effect of this was that I was really hard on others, it was ok, because at least I was being fair. It's not as though I was holding anyone to a different standard than i held myself.

    Recently, I've reevaluated my opinions. After much thought, I've come to the conclusion that this kind of behavior is good neither for myself, nor for others.

    The reason it wasn't not good for myself was that I got really defensive. It made it hard for me to take criticism, even honest, reasonable criticism. I tended to react to criticism with scorn or distress. It wasn't easy for me to admit, in the moment, that I'd done something wrong. I would instead simply shove the blame onto someone else. Because I used to beat myself up over every mistake, it made me less willing to notice my mistakes.

    This seemed to be some sort of emotional reaction. On occasions when I made a mistake, I would subject myself to a lot of distress. As a way of protecting myself from this, I think my brain became less receptive to acknowledging mistakes (regardless of who brought them to my attention).

    The reason it wasn't good for others was because many people are very sensitive about the way in which they are criticized. One thing people certainly don't enjoy is being criticized in such a way that they are made to feel stupid. People can admit they are wrong, but they are very careful about how they are told that.

    I'm not sure if any of this is relevant to the OP or not, but I can say this is definitely something that factors into my annoyance with unreliable people. The reason I bring this up is because ultimately, the only behavior and attitudes you can change are your own. I suppose it's possible to change those of others, but that's more work. I think, rather then trying to find some way to "deal" with unreliable people, you find a way to sort of accept them into the fabric of your life. There will always be unreliable people, so one might as well learn how to deal with them.

    It might also help to have a calm discussion about it with the individuals in question.
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