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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    That seems pretty cold and textbooky, Matthew
    I knew that was coming. The point is that feelers don't look at solutions to problems or different perspectives on a situation as a means of finding comfort during tumultuous times. They seem to want to engage in more emotion instead of abating/controlling the emotion as most thinkers would. Therefore, being a T and comforting an F can sometimes be an arduous task. Or maybe it's more of a woman thing since men tend to focus more on solutions to problems anyway. I dunno.

  2. #12
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    I roll my eyes and tell them to suck it up.Or I just let them rant.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by groovejet02 View Post
    I roll my eyes and tell them to suck it up.Or I just let them rant.
    I usually feel like telling them to shut the fuck up, out of impulse, if they decide to bitch about it. But that would do absolutely no good. Instead, I sometimes mock them, in a very subtle way, it would probably be impossible for them to notice.

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Risen View Post
    I knew that was coming. The point is that feelers don't look at solutions to problems or different perspectives on a situation as a means of finding comfort during tumultuous times. They seem to want to engage in more emotion instead of abating/controlling the emotion as most thinkers would. Therefore, being a T and comforting an F can sometimes be an arduous task. Or maybe it's more of a woman thing since men tend to focus more on solutions to problems anyway. I dunno.
    I'd say it's a T thing. I'm a woman, and I find myself cutting people off when they start to get really emotional. It's an impulse. Unless I think to myself "shut up and listen" - I'll instinctively cut them off in the middle of their emotional rant and give them several reasons to not feel that way or an alternative solution to their problem. Several times I've simply told them to fuck whatever is making them miserable/sad and switch focus.

    I think it's a self-protection mechanism. I just don't know what the hell I'm supposed to say/look like/do when someone, especially someone I'm close to, gets upset. So I stop them where I still feel like I have some control over the situation and try to give myself an escape to the situation basically.

    I remember my mother crying in front of me, and I froze! Just told her whatever I thought she wanted to her, gave her an INTP hug and got the hell out of there. I wanted to make her feel better so bad, but I couldn't handle the situation. (I was the one making her cry in the first place).

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Memphis View Post
    gave her an INTP hug
    What is an "INTP hug"?

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Miserable View Post
    What is an "INTP hug"?
    Kind of like hugging/being hugged by a bag of rocks.

    Or something that has just died and is going through rigamortis.

  7. #17
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    I would feel bad for them, and do my best to comfort them. Comforting someone for something I cannot understand is difficult however. In that situation, I'll lower my emotional barriers to show I feel for them while asking about their problems. I know that it helps to be able to talk about the problem (the person being comforted should be doing most of the talking).

    *Edit* This is one of the few times I'll give a real hug rather than a "INTP hug".
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

  8. #18

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    I think the hug is so funny. It's like you guys are super aware of what you are doing. Like you know what is expected of you in theory, what a hug looks like - but you don't know how hard to squeeze or where to put your hands or for how long. So cute!

  9. #19
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Memphis View Post
    I think the hug is so funny. It's like you guys are super aware of what you are doing. Like you know what is expected of you in theory, what a hug looks like - but you don't know how hard to squeeze or where to put your hands or for how long. So cute!
    Ha! I know what you mean...

    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    You know just because we're INTPs doesn't mean we don't like touching! I'm actually very touchy with a romantic partner, it's just anyone else I don't know what to do with myself if I get hugged for example. How do I hug and it be nice? Where do my hands go? Should we touch heads? Should I stoop to make the height differential less noticeable? How hard do I squeeze? How long do I hold on? Should I lift the person up slightly?

    This is the madness I have to deal with.



  10. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Ha! I know what you mean...
    Hahaha! "Should I lift the person up slightly?"

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