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  1. #1
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
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    Default Emotional sensitive ENTPs?

    Hey,

    I need some advise and maybe some shared experiences. The last days I experienced something I cannot easily explain or maybe overcome.

    In some situations I "feel" negative thoughts in the air, and it influences me really hard. This isn't that esoteric that it sounds, so let me list some situations, where this was obvious.

    1. Dating a girl. We phoned some days ago in a very open and funny way, very warm. The dates before were sometimes really disturbing, sometimes relaxed. This very chaotic and insecure situation was driving me mad, setting some feeling of compression in my waist. After I spoke with her about that, she recognized this, but not so emotional like I did. And she is an FP.

    2. Yesterday in the living-room of my mother. I was working and my back was turned in her direction. Suddenly I felt "some negative energy" in the air, knowing it comes from her thinking (which I didn't see). We spoke about this, and I was right. But, really, the problem is not this phenomena, the problem is, that I am reacting so hard to this.

    3. We visited some relatives. I had never a really good connection to them, but on this day I wondered about my inner bodily reactions to the situation. They talked about some other relative, on a very very negative way, like boosting into hystery. My waist was getting hard, I felt really sick, I needed to leave the room, and even one hour after we left, there was so much air in my waist (I know this from long tours with the car, but not in this situation).

    Well, my personal assuming ist, that this can be some Tertiary-Problem. My Fe, combined with the Ne, saw some little negativity and let it grow to that big problem, that it never really was.

    Even in my everyday-life I feel very sensitive about social miss-interactions. And, yeah, it's annoying. For example, if someone wants to dominate me, e.g. in talking, moving around, ignoring me. Well, and I react very hard on hysterical persons. All in all: Really annoying sensitivity.

    I cannot explain that in full amount, and so I ask you: Did you experience the same? If yes, how did you overcome this sensitivity?

    (I had some ideas on confronting me to "the other side of life", forcing myself being submissive in an interaction.)
    ** Upgrading my english **
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  2. #2
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    I think a lot of intuatives pick up on emotions in the air and absorbe them.... it's almost like interference but it's partly what your intuition runs off... picking up subtle non verbal queues.... often so minor you don't consiously register them.

    I think a lot of people can pick up negative vibes.

    ENTPs are natrual optimists, and I think they dislike back biting unless they are the instegators (gotta love double standards), but it can make them nausious... I know I've exprienced it myself.

    I avoid people who are oober negative about others, I just don't like the bitching. I try to avoid enviroments of high emotional neagativity (although one can't always do so).

    Give yourself plenty of out time..... and do things to protect your emotional healthy, like making sure you treat yourself well and respect your own limitations.

    Sorry it was a horrible day

  3. #3
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    Go outside. Seriously, I've had the same phenomenon, and it was gone by the time I was outside in the open air.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liquid and Flammable View Post
    Hey,

    I cannot explain that in full amount, and so I ask you: Did you experience the same? If yes, how did you overcome this sensitivity?

    (I had some ideas on confronting me to "the other side of life", forcing myself being submissive in an interaction.)
    Yes, I feel very uncomfortable around negativity. I loathe it. I will avoid negativity like the plague. When Caught in these situations I become extremely iratable. And I know that's bad, so I'll appologize about being so short and say its not anyone's fault... I'm just not feeling very well. God forbid someone sense this and get the right idea.

    I just hope that certain negative PEOPLE learn to just not associate with me more than necessary so that they never notice that they put me in a bad mood.

    I don't try to not be sensitive... I just make up excuses... as terrible as that sounds.

  5. #5
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    I think you're right about it being related to your Fe If you're young-ish, it could just be that you're growing into your tertiary and the over-sensitivity will decrease with time.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  6. #6
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I can't identify with the mysticism in the OP, but a possible explanation for point #1:

    You both felt weird crap about the conversation, but since the FP dabbles in the realm of emotions more often, she was able to identify and move on a bit quickly than you, who had no idea what to do with all that information.

    I react badly, and physically, to negativity. If someone is an emotional landmine, my stomach absorbs the brunt of it. I puke a lot. I literally would have had to throw up if I were forced to deal with the people in situation #3.

    I reacted very badly to a situation the other day, and I'm still not quite sure I was wrong but I inherently feel like I am overreacting. 2 people who are very close to me recently hung out with me together. They hardly know each other but are both extremely close to me - closer than anyone else in the world, actually. We are all NTs, one is an INTP and the other an ENTJ. Several things happened where the INTP finally felt secure enough to come out of the shell that he normally is in. So the INTP spent most of the time making jokes about me. He never would have done this to me if we were alone, but I think he was looking for a way to "connect" with the ENTJ. Everything I did, they would exchange a glance and smirk. I was very confused by this behavior. But his way of fostering a relationship with the ENTJ was by excluding me. Whenever I got up to answer the phone for a brief period, I would come back in the room to see them playing a new game of something or other, which would exclude me.

    I was starting to get tense by all this passive crap from the INTP. The ENTJ sensed this and went into overdrive in defense of the INTP. She does this constantly. She always defends the person she feels is the "weakest", to make it a fair match, rather than the person she feels is correct. She has known me forever and knows that I would have said something very direct and confrontational at some point, and the INTP gives off a fragile vibe. So she would quietly back him up every now and then, but still try to remain neutral in her eyes. But that never comes off as neutral.

    There was just this thick air of negativity that I couldn't call them out on directly because it was so subtle.

    Anyway, to sum up this story, we all started playing a new game which I had played only once before a few weeks earlier. The ENTJ learned the rules and played with no problem, but of course, my Ne/Ti makes me want to question and understand why the rule is the way it is. Granted, that can be annoying, but I can't play it if I don't understand it - and these 2 people know that more than anyone. When I stopped to inquire about a rule, the INTP got long winded and confused me more. I asked him to please just answer yes or no about this specific instance since I couldn't see where he was going with it.

    At that point, he started making some cruel jokes assaulting my intellect to the ENTJ and encouraging her to smirk along with him. I felt so hurt and betrayed and was literally shaking, but suppressed it as best as I could. The silence was palpable and they continued to play silently and make smirks and glances at each other. The ENTJ tried to say a few joking words to smooth thing over, since she knows me so well, but it didn't really help. I realized at that moment that these are my 2 best friends, they don't know each other and they are both in my home, so I went into Fe overdrive, allowed myself to be the butt of their jokes by turning myself into a caricature and started lightening up the mood. I cracked jokes and had everyone laughing again while I was silently dying inside.

    I played the game until the end, stoically encouraging both of them when they made good moves, then went into another room to compose myself because I really felt like crying. Seriously - no joke. And to make it worse, when I was in the other room almost in tears, I heard them whispering about me. I have never felt more betrayed or confused in my whole life. I let it go and haven't addressed this with either one of them, but that was the strongest emotionally sensitive reaction I have had to date. My stomach still gets all wonky when I think of it. I know for a fact that while I forgive them both, since this was clearly not indicative of either of their personalities, I will never ever forget this instance and will do everything to avoid letting them be in a room together again. Why he tried so hard to impress her (not in a romantic sense) is beyond me.

    But the point is that I became overwhelmed with emotion in a situation most people would have shrugged off. I guess for me, not only is loyalty absolutely paramount, but petty negativity is something that I literally cannot stomach. I guess there is no way to stop the emotion, but you can stop your immediate reactions.

  7. #7
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    But the point is that I became overwhelmed with emotion in a situation most people would have shrugged off. I guess for me, not only is loyalty absolutely paramount, but petty negativity is something that I literally cannot stomach. I guess there is no way to stop the emotion, but you can stop your immediate reactions.
    I'm sorry that happened Jen, especially when they are people that have been let into the itty bitty tight circle of trust. The first sense I got, was that maybe your guy friend feels insecure around you, not because you have given him a reason to mistrust you, but he probably looks at you the way a younger brother looks at his older sister. Maybe he thinks you are "more" than him, larger than life, and tried to show your friend that he was "more" than you. Male egos, I tell ya

    My stomach feels it too, I don't get sick, but I can't eat when something is upsetting it me. It's a horrible feeling. You didn't deserve to be treated like that, I bet your friend would knock it off if they knew it was bothering you. Gosh I hate that hostess Fe thing. Takes a lot of energy.

    I don't always (read: rarely ever) catch on when someone is being obvious about their emotions. But I am damn good at knowing when someone is lying or concealing something.
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  8. #8
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Thanks, G. This happened 3 days ago, so I'm over it already, but I'm not going to lie and say that wasn't a hard post to write. But I think it's over now. Either way, I feel stupid and childish for being so upset about something so small, although I know that I have every right to be upset. I guess I feel like I deserve whatever I get since I chose to accept it and not confront it.

    Your theory on his motivations is interesting. I can't say that he feels that way about me, but I would never know. I think we both look up to each other in different ways. I also think the main issue is his complete lack of knowledge on how to behave in a social setting. His natural sarcastic manner coupled with him looking for a common bond with her made it obvious that he would be gunning for me. Obvious in retrospect, of course. And I know that he truly meant no harm. But it still really hurt at the time.

    Either way, I also can detect bullshit a mile away. And I either over-Fe and diffuse the situation or I withdraw and go for a long walk/run to expend all the negative energy that I am storing or else I will go buck wild on someone's ass.

  9. #9
    Member Liquid and Flammable's Avatar
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    Thank you for your experiences. First I thought, I am alone with this problem, that these situations can provide such an physical and mental effect. Thank you, really. It's easier to accept this part of me now.

    Even this quotation:
    Either way, I feel stupid and childish for being so upset about something so small, although I know that I have every right to be upset.
    _______________

    You both felt weird crap about the conversation, but since the FP dabbles in the realm of emotions more often, she was able to identify and move on a bit quickly than you, who had no idea what to do with all that information.
    Your explanation sounds good. But, it's really hard to act on this. When emotions and potential problems can overwhelm the body, how to act on a clear and social way? Okay, maybe it's really the best to flee for some minutes and cool down.

    In another situation we (this ENFP up there and me) went for a walk, talking. While she grows in energy and passion, I didn't felt, that she is recognizing me anymore. I could hardly follow, and she didn't recognized, that I am out of topic. Even her body language showed the same sign, dominating. I felt like a small dog on a leash, and lost control about myself. Some less sensitive INTPs could work with this situation on a better way, just beginning to joke around. But how can we learn to overcome this emotional chaos to act in a way, we can control?

    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    I think you're right about it being related to your Fe If you're young-ish, it could just be that you're growing into your tertiary and the over-sensitivity will decrease with time.
    I hope, you are right. I am 23 now, but this over-sensitivity is there since I was 15.

    Go outside. Seriously, I've had the same phenomenon, and it was gone by the time I was outside in the open air.
    I will try.
    ** Upgrading my english **
    Corrections for my language are willingly seen


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  10. #10
    *hmmms* theadoor's Avatar
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    Even though I find it very hard to feel the mood and emotions of other persons, I feel the overall group atmosphere really well. I can say that I'm really sensitive to it too. That's why I guess I've always been the clown, the one who cheers up and tries to have a good atmosphere around me, because I'm always trying to avoid negative things, fx fights, real, emotional arguments and bad gossips. Whenever smth like that starts and I feel I can't change it, I just leave..
    Oh yeah?

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