[NT] attention NT women especially INTPs

[milkyway2]

It's just jealousy. Everyone feels it. I get super jealous. You just have to decide when it is ok to just be jealous if you know nothing is going on and trust your S.O or when you should talk about it. If there is a reason for you to be suspicious... bring it up and talk about it.

You should also bring it up if it bothers you a lot. There shouldn't be big things between you because that will drive you apart. Eventually it will probably come down to either you or him if it really does bother you that much. But that's ok. I stopped talking to a guy friend of mine I slept with even though I still would want to talk to him. But my relationship is more important and so that's what I put first. I'd rather have a good honest relationship without any worries or things like that bringing us down. If I was to keep talking to that guy, and comparing him to my boyfriend now I know that would make him feel bad and cause problems. So I don't do it. But sometimes I think things like that. I definitely compare them in my head sometimes and I think about my ex too. I can't stop those things.

So take it from me, an INTP female. I think you should talk to her about it and tell her how it bothers you. She probably doesn't realize that saying those things, comparing you guys hurts you as much. I used to do that before I realized it really just hurts the guy and doesn't help anything.

 

[Domino]

Edge - it's more than that, I think. I get "sister" zoned by the guys pursuing my sister. They immediately acquire me as a family member, and theoretically, if anything ever happened to sis (relationship stall/end, sucked up in MD's tornado and transported to OZ, etc), they'd still keep me around as a sister. However, I've been informed by an ENTP friend of mine that he's never hit on me not because he doesn't find me attractive, but because he can control himself and values my continued presence in his realm of existence (also, because his relationships have a tendency to end in a shower of sparks and crushed villagers as the train derails...).

But consider me schooled. Thanks everyone for your input to my questions.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

It is especially annoying for people like myself who have rationalized sexual intimacy to be mutually exclusive from emotional intimacy. And the fact that most people don't feel this way.

Why can't people have sex without the emotional baggage.

There is a far deeper emotional connection with my friends, than girls I have slept with or only want to sleep with (but feel repulsed by otherwise, intellectually or emotionally).

Definitely. I don't see a problem with a mutual attraction that plays itself out naturally. It's reciprocity at most simple and natural.

I generally won't indulge in a sexual relationship without some sense of general attraction to the person themselves but it doesn't have to go any deeper and that's fine by me. In fact, I like the maturity found in those types of arrangements. It feels far more honest than most other types of relationships.

dear OP: get a stress ball



isn't that "sister material" and "just friends" the same thing? or do they mean they can only be just friends, if you're ugly?



hmm, in a males persepctive, a sexual attractive friend = potential?

I can't speak for males. I am not one. However, this is the general consensus that I have noticed. Sad, huh?

Domino: I have a male ENTP friend I have known for fifteen years and he said the same thing. ENTPs...

 

[TopherRed]

isn't that "sister material" and "just friends" the same thing? or do they mean they can only be just friends, if you're ugly?

I think there are two different meanings that both terms share:

1. You're giving them that title because you can't fuck them now.
2. You're giving them that title because you never want to fuck them, ever.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Thank you everyone for your input. One thing that bothers me is that she told me I am NOT allowed to speak to this ENTP friend of mine whom I've slept with and yet SHE gets to talk to the male she used to sleep with?



I see that as hypocrisy and unfair, let me know what you think.

 

[Totenkindly]

Thank you everyone for your input. One thing that bothers me is that she told me I am NOT allowed to speak to this ENTP friend of mine whom I've slept with and yet SHE gets to talk to the male she used to sleep with?

What's the context of the situation, and what's the reasoning she's given you?

(She could be extremely unfair; but she's also a systems thinker, so an individual rule that might seem unfair if examined in isolation could actually be balanced within the context of the larger situation.)

 

[TopherRed]

Thank you everyone for your input. One thing that bothers me is that she told me I am NOT allowed to speak to this ENTP friend of mine whom I've slept with and yet SHE gets to talk to the male she used to sleep with?

I see that as hypocrisy and unfair, let me know what you think.

Grrrrr....that's what I think.

This is likely a bad relationship. I won't advise you about the fairness of anything because it's beside the point.
This is more important: Leave her.

Obviously, you don't love her enough to stop wanting to talk to your ex.

And she loves you even less--she is talking to him about you, and if I'm not mistaken, about your relationship to her.

With no disrespect, I think the only reason why you're not already in bed with your ex is because the current one still puts out. That's why you follow her "rule" about "no ex-talking" as she breaks the same. This is primarily about sex, and probably nothing more. Your relationship is likely a farse.

 

[Synarch]

I don't know. In my experience, INTP women have trouble with boundaries. Hell, INTP's in general do. This leaves them vulnerable to fucking up. On the other hand, they can be trustworthy. You just never know which INTP is going to go which way. I think it's similar with ENTP's except ENTP's feel more bound by society's rules.

 

[Fidelia]

They do? Anything that I've seen coming from ENTPs here has been that they don't really care about society's rules. I haven't had enough real life interaction to form an opinion.

I do agree with you though that INTPs sometimes have a hard time with boundaries.

 

[JocktheMotie]

Yeah on second thought, not happy with my reasoning [or lackthereof] at all.

 

[runvardh]

They do? Anything that I've seen coming from ENTPs here has been that they don't really care about society's rules. I haven't had enough real life interaction to form an opinion.

Remember, Fe, for them, is in the position for tertiary temptation; it's Si that runs as their inferior.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

Thank you everyone for your input. One thing that bothers me is that she told me I am NOT allowed to speak to this ENTP friend of mine whom I've slept with and yet SHE gets to talk to the male she used to sleep with?



I see that as hypocrisy and unfair, let me know what you think.

I call bullshit.

You either both live by the same rules or there are none. No double standards.

 

[TopherRed]

I call bullshit.

You either both live by the same rules or there are none. No double standards.

Can we upgrade that to a bullshit sandwich? Maybe with ?

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Grrrrr....
Obviously, you don't love her enough to stop wanting to talk to your ex.

I don't talk to my ex, she is a friend that I slept with and I have not contacted her due to my lover's request. Yet she still talks to a guy, the same guy that used to cause me jealousy( all the posts on this site helped me deal with it thank you all), and she fucked him. So I agree with the ISTP <3. Bullshit.

However fuzzcrossed now that I corrected you do you have anything else to say/modify except for the huge LEAVE HER? lol

 

[TopherRed]

Just everything I've already said. "Leave her" is still large as life; this doesn't smell right to me.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

I don't talk to my ex, she is a friend that I slept with and I have not contacted her due to my lover's request. Yet she still talks to a guy, the same guy that used to cause me jealousy( all the posts on this site helped me deal with it thank you all), and she fucked him. So I agree with the ISTP <3. Bullshit.

However fuzzcrossed now that I corrected you do you have anything else to say/modify except for the huge LEAVE HER? lol

Have you asked her not to talk to the guy? If you haven't she may assume that it doesn't bother you and therefore feels no reason not to keep him around in her life.

I'm never down for these types of "bargains" in relationships. People are going to come into temptation whether from the past or present people in their life.

It really comes down to this fact: You either trust someone or you don't. If you don't then it's time to re-evaluate the reasons why you are there in the first place.

 

[_Violence_]

Can't stand girls with emotional baggage....

 

[TopherRed]

^Vio and MDP good points both.

 

[Synarch]

They do? Anything that I've seen coming from ENTPs here has been that they don't really care about society's rules. I haven't had enough real life interaction to form an opinion.

ENTP rebellion against social norms belies a deep need to fit in in respect. They want to be approved of for being different and intelligent whereas INTP's seem to disregard society in most respects.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

ENTP rebellion against social norms belies a deep need to fit in in respect. They want to be approved of for being different and intelligent whereas INTP's seem to disregard society in most respects.

"Question authority - then do everything it tells you." is a line I read in an ENTP profile that fits.