User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 101

  1. #31
    Senior Member _Violence_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    146

    Default

    I think even they can rationalize a romantic relationship never happening, there is still that HYPOTHETICAL.

    If you can sleep with them, hypothetically, you would.

  2. #32
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sx/sp
    Posts
    5,537

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Let me ask something just for the sake of discussion.

    I know a LOT of my male friends have given me a patronizing head pat when I say that girls and guys can be just friends. I argued forever that they could. My male friends told me, "No, you're either sister material or a potential."

    So. Having said that. Someone that you used to date = a potential, once. Does that ever completely go away? Even if you don't act on it, does it really take a hike if you're on good enough terms to remain close friends?
    Maybe in a man's mind there is always the potential. I would not doubt that. I know it's possible because one of my exes is a great friend to me. I would never think of entertaining him on any other level. Period. So, it is possible but I will grant you that it is a rare thing.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  3. #33
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    ^ I agree with this, and Violence above MDP. Hypothetically speaking, it's a possibility. Even if the odds are slim to none now, at one time, they weren't. Since there was a "one time", this drastically increases the odds of it happening again, even if you hate the guts of your ex. In other words, there was something that attracted you to your ex in the first place, you had intimacy, and even if the original thing that attracted you was false, or is gone now, you've been initimate, and that is more than enough to spark it again, whether you realize that or not.

    Domino, I think you are failing to take into account the male brain. Though I won't "nuggie" your head, bottom line is tha you are either a potential mate, or you're sister material. It is possible to cross that boundary at some point, going either way, but it usually takes a lot. An ex, even if they have crossed into the "brother" territory for you, probably doesn't see you the same way by virtue of the fact that he is male, and men think in the terms above. If he's ever been intimate with you, it's 20 times more likely he won't be able to help consider you matefodder.

    All that to say, some of the guys who have a thing for you, can't help it. So be nice, but uninviting whenever you sense they might be drifting in that direction.

    --Fuzzy
    Love is the point.

  4. #34
    Senior Member SubjectA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    164

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jonathanthegreat View Post
    Hi everyone I have returned. I have found myself in a vulnerable state and I need help not smart remarks or insults, please.

    So I have question. I've been dating an INTP female recently and things have been going well. I am a very protective Alpha male and I have no clue why but I am very jealous that she talks to this one guy she used to sleep with over a year ago. Recently I took her to the ballet and she said it was the number 1 date she's ever been on and I asked what number two was and it was a date this guy took her out on. Idk why but it drives me NUTS and I wanna smash this kids head with a brick. Also they both supported obama together and both don't believe in God and she had sex with him on a rooftop (I'm a conservative republican christian, a religious enfj shocker i know). Idk this shit all makes me so FURIOUS. I haven't spoke to her about it also he made fun of me recently via IM. I read it she asked him a question and he said "ask your bf he hears from God directly :p" yes i am aware that my behaviors aren't very christian but I am just a man and this is how I feel. I am confident enough to want to solve this problem. I am a psychology major so I am trying to have closure on this subject because it's literally eating me up inside. But yeah basically I want to smash this kid's head with a brick and I dont wanna feel like that. So someone help please? also please feel free to ask questions if you feel they would lead to answers
    I agree that her comparing you to her ex is really tacky. INTP's don't really get the whole feeling thing. It's their inferior function. She could be hurting you and not even realize it.

    But to be honest there's no reason to throw a fit over it. Just cool down and talk to her calmly. DON'T shout at her or threaten her ex. That will just piss her off and push her away, as NT's hate big emotional scenes. Just be truthful with her. Just tell her that you don't appreciate this other guy making fun of your beliefs. If she can't respect your beliefs and you can't respect hers, then this relationship is doomed from the start.

    You also need to be sure that you're not being too possessive. NT's need a lot of freedom and space. If you can't give us that, then we either sulk about it until we approach you or just leave. I know you don't like this other guy but if they're still friends, there's not much you can do about that. You're not her father. You don't get to tell her who she can or cannot hang out with. Granted you don't have to like him or even agree to let him into your house, but you cannot think you can control her.

    Good luck.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #35
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    All that to say, some of the guys who have a thing for you, can't help it. So be nice, but uninviting whenever you sense they might be drifting in that direction.
    That's it? I can't use all those rubber-tipped bullets and the tear gas and tasers I'm carrying in my purse?
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #36
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    That's it? I can't use all those rubber-tipped bullets and the tear gas and tasers I'm carrying in my purse?
    Well, that would be the next step, but you want to try to be nice first to avoid unnecessarily scaring them for life.

    And hey, whatever happened to rubber tip bullets!? I haven't heard a thing about cops using them in years, and here I thought it was the perfect way to maim a suspect without killing them...at least long enough to put the cuffs on and shove them into the back seat.

    *my dad's voice* Son, they don't work on crackheads who can't feel pain. If a crackhead's got a gun and he's ready to shoot some people, we need to put him down.

    Ah. But wouldn't it be awesome if cops had the option?

    Yeah, my dad's a cop. I just remembered his answer midpost, so I figured I'd put it in.
    Love is the point.

  7. #37
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    Well, that would be the next step, but you want to try to be nice first to avoid unnecessarily scaring them for life.
    No scaring -- got it!
    (What about scarring?)

    The guy thing is sort of funny, how it is either "sis" or "love interest." It seems to me that women have far more various roles for men in their lives and can have great affection for guys without dropping into the romance category.

    I have one guy friend who, after he got married, doesn't want to spend time with me primarily because of that. I entirely respect his decision to stay away (not just to avoid temptation on his part but to openly telegraph to his wife how much he loves her)... but at the same time it bums me out because we were good friends, and I have *no* interest in him as anything more than that; he's such a wonderful guy, but no chemistry at all, nothing would ever happen from my end, that's for sure. And it also hurts; I mean, after all, he got a relationship out of the deal, but I sort of lost a friendship in the process. (The only plus is that now I talk to her a lot more than I talk to him. )

    ...that "sex" thang always seems to rear its ugly head with guys.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #38
    Senior Member TopherRed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFJ
    Enneagram
    2w3 so/sx
    Posts
    1,273

    Default

    We can't help it.

    That's not a cop out. It's a fact.

    Even when I'm in the room with my shadow, if she's hot, my logical barriers break down, and I start to imagine what life might be like, idealized, with her. I've trained my Department of Physical Will, or SeIA, to run buckwild in the opposite direction whenever my mind starts to do that, ESPECIALLY in the bowels of ministry.
    Love is the point.

  9. #39
    Senior Member _Violence_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    146

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Fuzzcrossed View Post
    We can't help it.

    That's not a cop out. It's a fact.

    Even when I'm in the room with my shadow, if she's hot, my logical barriers break down, and I start to imagine what life might be like, idealized, with her. I've trained my Department of Physical Will, or SeIA, to run buckwild in the opposite direction whenever my mind starts to do that, ESPECIALLY in the bowels of ministry.
    It is especially annoying for people like myself who have rationalized sexual intimacy to be mutually exclusive from emotional intimacy. And the fact that most people don't feel this way.

    Why can't people have sex without the emotional baggage.

    There is a far deeper emotional connection with my friends, than girls I have slept with or only want to sleep with (but feel repulsed by otherwise, intellectually or emotionally).

  10. #40
    loopy Ulaes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    crak
    Enneagram
    sax
    Socionics
    adhd
    Posts
    850

    Default

    dear OP: get a stress ball

    Quote Originally Posted by Domino View Post
    Let me ask something just for the sake of discussion.

    I know a LOT of my male friends have given me a patronizing head pat when I say that girls and guys can be just friends. I argued forever that they could. My male friends told me, "No, you're either sister material or a potential."

    So. Having said that. Someone that you used to date = a potential, once. Does that ever completely go away? Even if you don't act on it, does it really take a hike if you're on good enough terms to remain close friends?
    isn't that "sister material" and "just friends" the same thing? or do they mean they can only be just friends, if you're ugly?

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Maybe in a man's mind there is always the potential. I would not doubt that. I know it's possible because one of my exes is a great friend to me. I would never think of entertaining him on any other level. Period. So, it is possible but I will grant you that it is a rare thing.
    hmm, in a males persepctive, a sexual attractive friend = potential?

Similar Threads

  1. [INTP] What is your favorite environment? Especially INTPs
    By Musicallogic in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 07-16-2012, 09:22 PM
  2. [NT] NT Women
    By tinkerbell in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 72
    Last Post: 12-24-2009, 11:16 PM
  3. [NT] Question for NT Women - Are you a feminist?
    By Lauren Ashley in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 77
    Last Post: 03-06-2009, 04:48 PM
  4. [NT] Where do you find NT women?
    By Risen in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 192
    Last Post: 01-29-2009, 03:45 PM
  5. [NT] How do NT women differ from NT men?
    By centerofthesun in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 277
    Last Post: 01-19-2009, 10:04 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO