The ISFJ I've been closest to is one of my staff, she's about twice my age, pretty mature and balanced and all together a great example of an ISFJ in her positives. That said, we are very, very different people, we have a mutual acceptance rather than a mutual understanding of each other.
I find them very relaxing and calming to be around, actually. My sister's one and I've a friend I've geeked up with (D&D) for years, who's also one, and I find them very easy and pleasant company.
When I think of the mature and balanced ones I know, I find myself thinking there's only the INFP that I'd put ahead of them in a list of types I'd like as a wife.
I just wish they weren't so scared of me though... my sister knows me the best naturally, and so she isn't. She knows I just sometimes get rowdy and it's pure high spirits and enthusiasm, nothing to be scared of. But I do feel it's a bit sad that the others definitely have an edge of unease about them with me, as though they're just intimidated by my energy, and I can't seem to find a way to put them at ease that doesn't involve repressing myself to ridiculous levels. I just figure I have to live with that apprehension on their faces and have faith that they're aware that if it bothered them that much, they wouldn't give me their time.
I'm male and over 30, FYI.
Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving
what is an entp's opinion on isfjs? i live with two right now in college and both are very different. i can't get a clear idea on what they think of me though
They are quite odd to me, for one, I know he has feelings, but it's not something he's open with. I can't relate to having feelings beyond good, bad or a complete mess. I can't stand the way he holds back his anger and suddenly bursts, or releases it in devious ways (like being nasty to his brothers, who are good kids), I don't get angry at all, and when I do, it's so short that I barely notice it. I found out that his conversations are all planned... which seems so wrong to me. He definitely tries to convince people that he's a thinker... and an extrovert... and it's just fake. He also judges me based on any mistakes I've made, or solely on my past behaviour... which is more than just annoying, why would I do the same thing more than once? <-- which annoys him, because I'm supposedly 'unpredictable' and he doesn't like it.
He's probably not the best example of an ISFJ, but that's the one I've studdied for a long time. I generally tolerate him, and he tolerates me, we're good friends, but distanced by our differences or something... hope that makes sense.
in general i have a good friend who's ISFJ. She's sweet, reliable and dependable. So I appreciate that. She's also thoughtful and nurturing. Like when I was really sick a few weeks ago she came out of her way to bring me soup ..
She is a bit enigmatic because I think she lets many things slide that bug her and i get the impression that she would explode once she reached her limit, and the way she explodes is still very much in a passive aggressive way. i imagine this could be difficult in a romantic relationship because as ENTPs we tend to take people at what they say.
Another thing is that my friend tends to hold on to things. This could also be problematic for ENTPs because we can move on once we've discussed something and are perfectly happy to agree to disagree and that be the end of it but the ISFJ might need a little bit more closure.
i agree with the mutual acceptance instead of mutual understanding. i do and say things all the time that i know my ISFJ friend is like "WTF?!" and vice versa.
My roommate's an ISFJ. He's pretty quiet, and we have a mutual respect of each other's space, which is nice, but like in Trinity's case, we are very different people. I hadn't met him prior to rooming with him, so it actually worked out pretty well.
We'll have small conversations and actually make each other laugh, but we don't really hang out or try to for that matter. I'm accepting of his friends that will come in out of nowhere and make a ton of noise, and he was very lenient in my one-month man-whore stage.
I think we get along nicely; I like living with one.
"Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
enneagram - 7/5/3
He a really nice guy who couldn't do enough to help you.
But he is quite dull. And theres not a huge amount to his personality (yet). He also had loads of money and could never say no which when your in a group with him and two SPs! :S
The ISTP (my best mate) would often loan money off him or let him buy lunch for us. But he did always pay him back when he had money to spare and would be really nice to him invite him every where with us all and pay for him on the rare times when he didn't have money.
The ESFP on the other hand would happily let the ISFJ buy everything, give him money and yet often didn't invite him to stuff often put a lot of pressure to buy him lunch whenever he was skint. I love this guy (ESFP) but hate him for that.
Thats the problem with ISFJs they lets people tell them what to do and never really stand up for themselves which makes me feel bad as I feel I need to for him which I often can't be arsed with.
All there problems though come from how ridiculously nice are though!
"I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"
"Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"
"Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!