(Beware, this is long)
Since my fellow like-minded ENTP's helped me here:
...Tremendously in a short period, to which I have an unexpectedly happy job, I'd figure I'd give this a shot:
Now I usually talk about some of my perspectives in relationships or sexuality 'round here, but this time I want to talk about what's going on with me.
When I'm not working, I have no trouble meeting a pretty lady down the street or up in the club. I have plenty stories of that. I might get a little nervous, but that doesn't stop me. I actually like it because, the way I see it, it's my body telling me I really like this lady. And the more attractive is the more silly I get, but it's almost like I'm "calmly silly" meaning on the inside, I'll be nervous as fuck, but on the outside, I'll appear calm. I don't resist or fight any feelings I have. I almost always try speak my mind, not bluntly, but honestly.or instance, after a chat, I'll always let a lady know why I'm taking their number; I'm attracted to them and want to see where things go, or something along the lines. I never, ever, leave things up in the air in that ambiguous zone. At this point, sometimes they'll say they're not interested, or have a boyfriend—which is cool—but for the single ladies, the same thing happens:
It leads to nothing.
Whenever I meet these women, I see this pattern where I meet them, call them up to chat, and that's all I'll get to. The first time I see them is basically the last time. Now I can objectively say that I don't know what it is, but to throw in my opinion or guess, is that I think they're playing head games. I had to swallow that real-world realization that people are going to be mean just as they are cool; the world isn't perfect, there are manipulators, gold diggers, liars, psychos etc. but I think that is turning my world of dating in to a cloudy day instead of a sunny day if you know what I'm saying. I'm thinking if they weren't truly interested they would have walked away when we first met, or simply declined.
For example, the last girl i talked to was actually a classmate from high school, real cute and kinda shy, but it seemed like there was more then meets the eye. We talked almost once a week, and every other week I wanted to meet her to hang out (no sex, actual "hanging out" or just "enjoying a walk") and every single time, it didn't happen. This went on for like a month, 'til I just mentally said "Fuck it" and I didn't bother to call again. I felt like I was being stringed along.
Another lady I had met when I was looking for work last time, damn, besides being gorgeous she was so fucking fun I really liked her and we ended up spending half the day together when we met on the spot there outside of DSW. We were practically like kids, she got my humor, I got hers, we hugged and held each other like lovers already. When the time came to call, we talked once, and after that she never picked up.
There are more, and more similar stories like that... it's all different but it all leads to a brick wall.
I'm seriously lost.
Almost like my search for work (see link above) I have met countless (well over a thousand, and that's no exaggeration) of women, and sure I had sex with a few of them, but to have actual dates (or better yet opportunities to meet and learn from each other) is virtually nil. I have had a few dates, and they were all Asian from Korea, Japan, China etc. Coincidence? I'm Latino, and I don't know. I never went on a date with black chick, white chick, brown chick—but I want to, WTF.
And for girlfriends, I would say one and a half (long story). My longest relationship was what... like 3-6 months? I had to leave that one because of the manipulation and game-playing. I was 19 at the time, I'm 24 now and haven't had a 1-on-1 stable solid relationship since then.
I'd love to have a relationship now. Seriously. I don't feel I am clingy; I don't need a girlfriend, but I do want one. I don't even nag or bother my friends. I consider to think of myself like "Hey, I want to try something more then just sex now." attitude. Other then that, I'm not the richest person in the world, nor even the most handsomest (well maybe), and I know deep down that shouldn't matter.
To those who are curious and if it means anything; usually when I make a friend, I have a friend for life. My best friend is an ESTJ, and my other just as good friends are INTJ, and 2 ENFP's. I don't really have any "acquaintances" around me. I consider most of that phony stuff. I guess you can say I'm an all or nothing person.
I also gotta say, it's kind of strange. Depending on my mood, I can make friends with somebody in like zero time, and other times, I'd feel uncomfortable or neutral and be most of the time pretty quiet in people's presence; I'm usually in listening mode. However, if I don't like a person at all, I wouldn't even be there.
I think you can see that I have a low-tolerance for bullshit, and especially fakeness. I value authenticity to the highest degree out there, but is it just me or them when it comes to growing relationships?
What do you think is going on?
P.S. I've already gone down the path of playing head games, pick-up artist bullshit, so please none of that silly furry hat top advice.
P.S.S. I noticed my thoughts are scattered above, and I meant to organize it, but dang, I gotta sleep!
P.S.S.S. I'd really love to see some ISFP/INFJ point of views here too actually.
I'd appreciate any input though,
Timeless in San Francisco