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  1. #1
    GirlAmerica
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    Default NT's and cheating

    Would you/have you? Under what circumstances? What do you actually consider cheating?

  2. #2
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    I would not. I think it's not only a very mean thing to do to someone, but I also think it's stupid. If you don't want someone, or you want someone else, then just end the relationship you're in. Attempting to juggle partners will never work.

    I think cheating qualifies as pretty much having any kind of sexually oriented affection with someone other than your partner. The more intimate it is, and the more frequently it's done, the worse of a violation it is.

    Of course, if you consciously condone your partner having sex with others, then I guess that's not cheating.
    Whatever floats your boat.
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  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlAmerica View Post
    Would you/have you? Under what circumstances? What do you actually consider cheating?
    Never, ever. It's the most egregious breach of trust imaginable in a relationship, and if you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. Cheating is basically putting a gun to your relationship's head and pulling the trigger.

    I consider as cheating any specifically romantic or sexual activity that your partner would consider a breach of trust, including online-only. If you don't agree with your partner's definition of cheating, then that is a major issue in my opinion and it should be resolved before marriage or serious commitment.

  4. #4
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    It can be lots of fun, nor does it mean the end of your primary relationship.

  5. #5
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    I think it's very easy for people to say they wouldn't, who've never been under any really severe temptation.

    No, I haven't ever, but as I say, I never felt tempted.

    But consider the case of the bisexual person - contrary to popular belief, most bisexuals don't just feel like they could go either way any time. We also don't get 'the best of both worlds' or a bigger 'choice' of people to date. In fact, we get a smaller dating pool than anyone else, since gay people are often suspicious of us and straight people tend to find anything like that kinda 'icky', and say they wouldn't date a bisexual.

    In reality, I can go for long periods of time when I'm only interested in the same sex, and even start to wonder if I'm gay - then suddenly without warning, and it's beyond my own control, I just go right off men and am only interested in women, and can't even imagine myself going with a man and wonder how I ever did. Then it swings round again.

    For a bisexual person to commit to one relationship with one person, they're basically being asked to deny an entire part of themselves for the rest of their lives. If I were with a woman, there would be periods where I'd find the concept of my own relationship repulsive, and in order for it to stay alive the woman would have to understand that until my orientation 'swings' back, and neither she nor I have any control over when/whether it does, my heart really wouldn't be in any physical intimacy with her.

    In a relationship I was in once, it was extremely difficult for me to keep slogging at a relationship with someone of a gender I wasn't even sure if I'd ever be attracted to it again. It's not that there was any one particular person that I felt tempted by or attracted to - it was more a case of just feeling like I wanted a different relationship, I had needs that were not being met, and couldn't possibly be met, in the relationship I was currently in. I didn't cheat, as I say, but I wouldn't be able to swear that if, at that time, someone of the gender I was oriented towards came along who I felt a strong attraction to, I wouldn't have wavered or even caved.

    ----

    In France, if a man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man, and he shoots the guy and/or his wife, he doesn't go to jail.

    The funny thing is, there'd be no need for anyone to cheat on me - if they just asked, I'd be cool with it. Y'know, no need to go behind my back and do it, when if you just say "You know, I feel like screwing someone else this week, you okay with that?" I'd shrug and say "Meh, knock yourself out - gets me off the hook anyways."

    Heheh, joking aside (though it's not far from the truth), I think I'm the type of person who should live in France if in a relationship... just in case...
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Recluse's Avatar
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    I have agoraphobia, so I've never been subjected to temptation. What am I going to do, start up an affair with the delivery man? I'm loyal by default.

    I wouldn't want the mental anguish and emotional turmoil that goes with that all that melodrama. Yuck!
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  7. #7
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    Never, ever. It's the most egregious breach of trust imaginable in a relationship, and if you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. Cheating is basically putting a gun to your relationship's head and pulling the trigger.

    I consider as cheating any specifically romantic or sexual activity that your partner would consider a breach of trust, including online-only. If you don't agree with your partner's definition of cheating, then that is a major issue in my opinion and it should be resolved before marriage or serious commitment.
    Nonsense.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Urchin's Avatar
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    Cheating is a worthless thing to do because it does not accurately test ones skill. Why would I cheat on a test and have a good grade that is not an accurate indicator of my prowess? I love testing myself. Cheating takes away the point of self-testing.

    Oh, you meant sex...
    "Having is not such a pleasing thing as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true." --Spock

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  9. #9
    Member Maha Raj's Avatar
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    no man nooo, seriously ... people might think that i be playing around when they look at me being all hyper all the time , and make new friends with girls...but yo no ... i can never cheat on my girlfriend...

    well of course i get those ideas that she might be cheating on me... but you know you have to be truthful... because only when you are not cheating... then u can easily dump her for cheating on u ;-)

  10. #10
    Junior Member fiona's Avatar
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    No. Never.

    Cheating says you are happy to risk a stable relationship with your SO for the sake of a quick fling. If you know your actions are going to deeply (and possibly permanently) damage the love you and your SO have, then to go ahead and cheat means you actually don't value the relationship that highly.

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