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  1. #11
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    It's possible......



    in television.

  2. #12
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Some I have in my mind that we will always be friends. I've even friendzoned some women that I'm not interested in. With that said, as soon as a friendship involves sharing emotions it's easy for someone to develop romantic feelings. If you keep it on the level of ideas, experiences, and jokes you shouldn't run into nearly as many problems.

    Why do you have difficulty sharing your emotions with women? It sounds like you want the emotional benefits of a relationship without the commitment.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  3. #13

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    I, too, have mostly male friends. I tend to see myself as more of a guy, in terms of my interests and mentality, and I feel like I have more in common to talk about with guys. For example, I'm not really a girly girl and I like video games.

    I have had relationships where my guy friend starts to like me and everything gets kind of awkward and I usually avoid them so things don't get worse. But for the most part, almost all of my GOOD guy friends are guys who have never seemed to be interested in me romantically, and we are JUST friends. I don't like having sexual feelings or romance between people who are just friends, because I feel like it complicates things.

    I would not want my SO hanging out with a female friend that he had romantic/sexual feelings for at one point, because I feel like it could come out again if they get drunk together or if he's mad at me and seeks her for comfort, etc... I'm sure he would feel the same for me.

    It is possible to have purely platonic relationships, of course things can change in the relationship, but thats like "hey could you ever develop romantic feelings for your cousin?"
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  4. #14

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    I am presently in a long-term, committed relationship with a woman I often describe as my best friend.

    I have several female friends who I am emotionally close to and have a deep bond with. I care for them deeply, so you would be fairly accurate to say that there is a brother-sister sort of dynamic at play.

    I find several of these women sexually and emotionally attractive, and were I single I would jump at the opportunity to allow our relationship to progress beyond platonic friendship.

    I am certain that there is always some sexual tension in any male-female relationship (assuming that both parties are heterosexual and of moderate attractiveness). How this affects the relationship really depends on the choices both parties choose to make, and the communication between the two.

    Me and my female friends often casually flirt with each other, but we also always draw the line at some point because we trust and respect each other enough to safeguard the relationships we are committed to. When one person goes too far, the other person changes the topic and all is well. This is a dynamic that has a very ideal compromise of fun and integrity for me.

    Then there are the women who I was very strongly attracted to but ended up developing friendships with, perhaps because of circumstance. I find that there is often a "window of opportunity" when it comes to attraction, before you begin to get a little too comfortable around each other as friends.

    It's all about communication, understanding and mutual respect. Whatever it is.

  5. #15
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theaferist View Post
    Being an ENTP, I have realized that usually my ''soul-friends'' are only male, I still got pretty many female friends, but I don't take them so seriously. I mean, I just don't trust females, I still respect their opinion, but I don't listen to their advice and don't talk with them about my feelings as much as I do with my male friends and, yes, being honest, female friends annoy me way more often than my male ones.
    I'm male, and my perspective on male friends is nearly identical to your perspective on female friends.

    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think male emotions and sex are very intertwined with each other and harder to separate out than women's emotions and sexual interest. I think women are open to a wider variety of people, but are pickier in some regards when it comes to relationships. However, people grow on them as a romantic prospect sometimes through proximity. Men seem to be able to be attracted to a larger section on the population but are less likely than women to develop attraction if they didn't feel it initially.
    I agree. This is why I mostly avoided close friendships with females until after I was married. I wanted to have platonic friendships with females, but before then it was too challenging because anyone I liked well enough to be good friends with was automatically seen as a potential mate. It was biological wiring which I couldn't disconnect, no matter how much I wanted to.

  6. #16

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    My humble advice to anybody who starts to fall for your friends- Never, EVER "confess your love" to them. It's a terrible idea with a ridiculously low success rate that's highly misrepresented by romantic idealism. It puts them in a very difficult, uncomfortable and very awkward spot.

    It is SO much better for everybody if you learn to be subtle. Send little signals. (Spend time with them alone, make little bits of physical contact) Allow them to gradually sense and feel a change in the dynamics of your relationship, and see if they get comfortable with it enough play along. If they don't like it, the worst that could happen is that they might confront you about it- in which case you could claim that nothing's changed and that you're just going through a phase or something (a little white lie that allows everyone to breathe easier- that's what friends do!) If they like it, score for you! And them!

    People are uncomfortable with sudden change. It's quite likely that she might grow to love you too (in that way) if you give her time to adjust her preconceptions about the relationship and to slowly get warmed up and comfortable to the idea. But if you "confess" your love to her, alarm bells will ring in her head and scream at her to evacuate the situation immediately. That's bad, regardless of your desired outcome.

  7. #17
    *hmmms* theadoor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    Why do you have difficulty sharing your emotions with women? It sounds like you want the emotional benefits of a relationship without the commitment.
    Maybe you're right. Because I just don't feel comfortable doing it, I'll never start talking about my feelings by myself (well at least if I'm not drunk enough ), somebody have to push me a little or make the first move, if I don't fully trust the person I won't talk about my feelings. With girls I'm always having this awkward feeling, when talking about the emotions.
    And your sex may gossip about it, the opposite one as far as I've experienced don't. I think boys are a bit more mentally organized than girls and they talk less bullshit and at the same time give more useful advices.

  8. #18
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by theaferist View Post
    And your sex may gossip about it, the opposite one as far as I've experienced don't. I think boys are a bit more mentally organized than girls and they talk less bullshit and at the same time give more useful advices.
    That's mostly true. At least it is in my case.

    But when you talk about emotions can you blame a guy for feeling something? At that point in his mind you're no longer one of the boys. You don't need to clam up around them completely but there are two sides to the situation.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

  9. #19
    *hmmms* theadoor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Schnitzel View Post
    But when you talk about emotions can you blame a guy for feeling something? At that point in his mind you're no longer one of the boys. You don't need to clam up around them completely but there are two sides to the situation.
    I can, but usually I don't. I can blame a guy if he starts to be really dramatic, because I hate almost any kind of drama. Actually, that's why I like INF guys, because they're not dramatic, but they're deep and they still have some men logic in them. If they don't get intimidated by the first impression of me, we usually get along really well.
    What exactly do you mean about clamming up the two sides of the situation?

  10. #20
    WTF is this dude saying? A Schnitzel's Avatar
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    I was saying that you don't need to stop talking to guys about things altogether but show some discretion with male friends when you have no romantic interest. You're causing them to develop feelings almost as much as themselves. Of course they should know to keep a certain distance, but it sounds like you put them in that situation in the first place.
    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    sheesh humans! for realz

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