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  1. #31
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
    ... I do enjoy things, I just don't expect them or mourn them. I do not want what I do not have.
    Bingo, dude.

    I find that if I feel as though someone is expecting or sorta demanding, in a way, that I feel a certain emotion towards them, it seems to cause me to shut down any emotions at all towards them, and to simply detach. Paradoxically, the less someone appears to value/need me to attach or warm towards them, the quicker and easier I do so.

    Invariably, the people I've been attracted to have all shared that common feature: that they accepted me exactly as i am, with no need, desire or expectation for me to 'get warmer' or to 'overcome' my aversion to touchy-feeliness. But when this has caused me to melt and spontaneously desire to touch/hug them (now feeling it's 'safe' to, which I don't feel with the touchy-feely types... oddly...), they just enjoy it, but don't then change to start expecting it, or mourning it if it stops for a while.

    I'm also a fan of the stoics. Anyone else love the stoics?
    Marcus Aurelius is in my pocket at all times, though he's a late comer as it were and not particularly radical or anything, he has a way of putting things that I just find chimes with me very much.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  2. #32
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    Fell in love once when I was 16, relationship lasted 4 years. Had multiple girlfriends between then and now. Fell in love once again more recently with someone I've known for 6 years.

    I wasn't intelligent enough to decipher the feelings for love before, but I am now. It's an overwhelming sensation from Fe (I wasn't even aware I could feel this way about someone), which as you can see, I've only experiences 2'ce in my life. It's quite an amazing feeling.

  3. #33
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    Not easily at all. I behave like an irrational being trying to push this other person out of my head space where it's safe. Though, I've only fallen in love once. As for my average relationships, they sort of coast along until I end them.

  4. #34
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    I've never fallen in love. I hope to, but I don't know if I'd ever let myself. I kinda panic if it becomes a possibility, and I tend to conveniently fall for unavailable guys. But to fall in love and actually have it returned... that'd be pretty amazing.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
    I am skeptical of love. I do not want it clouding my judgement. When I am in love, I often react by intentionally creating distance between myself and the object of my fixation so as not to become irrational.

    Rarely do I find someone I want to be in a relationship with. I'm easily suffocated and require an emotionally hands-off partner. I dislike those who wish to control me as well as those who depend on me.

    I also habitually quash my desires of every sort. I reason with them until they diminish, for I am afraid of disappointment. This makes me an easy-going person, but I'm sometimes mistakenly pegged as apathetic. I do enjoy things, I just don't expect them or mourn them. I do not want what I do not have.

    I'm also a fan of the stoics. Anyone else love the stoics?
    I could have written this myself...

    I haven't fallen in love yet, but I am (probably) starting my first relationship, and I never realized how much of a nut I really am until this all happened.

    I am terrified of really liking someone because that would make me vulnerable, and that's bad. So, I suppress my feelings. Then it becomes all too obvious that we just logically work so well together...but I flip out because I don't know where the "spark" is...you know, the one I killed so as not to feel vulnerable? Then I start analyzing from every angle, debating whether or not this is really "it." I'll proceed to go through cycles....one minute I'll be wishing I were hugging him, the next hour I'll be convinced that there's just no spark and we should just be friends.

    All throughout this, I've continued to keep him at arm's length by sticking to email and AIM conversations...no phone. I feel guilty because I know he wants to talk to me more...but this makes me feel smothered because it makes me realize that he likes me more than I (am letting myself) like him, and I don't want to lead him on or hurt him, so then that's just something else to worry about.

    I am SUCH a basket case!!!

  6. #36
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    I mourn a little then find myself a cure.
    hoarding time and space
    A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.
    — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  7. #37
    Branded with Satan murkrow's Avatar
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    Easily, both ways.
    wails from the crypt.

  8. #38
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Sorry, I can't help you.

    I have never fallen in love and I am 23.

  9. #39
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    I fall in and out easily. Idealize then rationalize. Both love and infatuation.
    ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE EATIN' GUMBO

  10. #40
    Senior Member Lexlike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    I fall in and out easily. Idealize then rationalize. Both love and infatuation.
    same here.
    I...74%
    N...66%
    F... 62%
    P... 72%
    Ti- Ne- Si- Fe
    Te- Ni-Fi- Se
    Ennegramm: 4w5
    Intrapersonal with Logical- Mathemathical I.
    Cassification: brunette East- baltid^^

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