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[INTP] I Do Not Hate The World.

astroninja

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
98
MBTI Type
INTP
I just.... don't really care about it.

I was a semi-famous musician once, a couple of years back. I enjoyed a somewhat healthy career; the lifestyle, the media hoopla. the groupies, the chart-topping hits. For five years, I was on Cloud 9.

Life was good.

Until the day I stopped caring. And I quit my job as a musician, by choice.

I don't know what triggered it. Perhaps it was the realization that despite being surrounded by people, I still felt alone. Not alone in the lonely sense - I do not feel lonely, not in the emotional sense (ugh) - but alone with the realization that we are ALL inherently alone. I see human nature for what it most oftentimes is: hypocritical and self-serving. I know this does not necessarily apply to EVERY single individual of the human race, but it DOES apply to the majority - myself included.

I'm not cynical or jaded, unwelcoming or hostile towards the idea of love. I most definitely do not feel any outright anger at love, nor am I recovering from any relationship. Love, in its entirety, just doesn't seem to move me anymore.

I WANT to get rid of my indifference towards such things, my indifference towards people who FEEL, who put weight into their emotions. But I can't.

Do any of you have a quick-fix strategy to help me overcome my annoying nonchalance towards feeling types? My general 'couldn't care less' attitude towards the human race -- myself included?

I just wanted to know: Do INTPs normally go through such phases in their lives? Are we more prone to this than various other types? I know some cope with this better, but it is quite maddening to me.

EDIT:
That's the thing. I'm not actually depressed. I do not feel anxiety, I do not hate the world or the people in it. I am not suicidal, I don't want to kill myself, I don't feel threatened or invalid.

I just seem to be going through this phase of simply not caring about the things around me the way I used to. There's a sense of pointlessness about it all, even though I know full well that some things do have a point to them - seemingly so. Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I look at the people around me who are older, perhaps wiser, accomplished in their careers, etc, and I don't see a point to it. In the end, we'll all die, buried or incinerated, and all our tangible accomplishments washed away with the memory of our existence. It's the same for so many people: You work, you start a family, you grow old, you die. In between, you try to fill life with memories and experiences to make it all seem worth the while.

We, as human beings, are self-important, and we're self-important because we were 'blessed' with intellect; an awareness of our existence.

But being aware of one's existence does not make that existence validated. We feed ourselves with purposes of living, reasons to believe that our individuality is unique and beautiful. But are we really?

That's what I struggle with daily. And I don't know why. I don't feel depressed about it, just despondent and... just being.
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
Is it possible that your outlook is caused by your depression and not the other way around?
 

astroninja

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
98
MBTI Type
INTP
Is it possible that your outlook is caused by your depression and not the other way around?

That's the thing. I'm not actually depressed. I do not feel anxiety, I do not hate the world or the people in it. I am not suicidal, I don't want to kill myself, I don't feel threatened or invalid.

I just seem to be going through this phase of simply not caring about the things around me the way I used to. There's a sense of pointlessness about it all, even though I know full well that some things do have a point to them - seemingly so. Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I look at the people around me who are older, perhaps wiser, accomplished in their careers, etc, and I don't see a point to it. In the end, we'll all die, buried or incinerated, and all our tangible accomplishments washed away with the memory of our existence. It's the same for so many people: You work, you start a family, you grow old, you die. In between, you try to fill life with memories and experiences to make it all seem worth the while.

We, as human beings, are self-important, and we're self-important because we were 'blessed' with intellect; an awareness of our existence.

But being aware of one's existence does not make that existence validated. We feed ourselves with purposes of living, reasons to believe that our individuality is unique and beautiful. But are we really?

That's what I struggle with daily. And I don't know why. I don't feel depressed about it, just despondent and... just being.
 

astroninja

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
98
MBTI Type
INTP
Finally, someone who got my point. :newwink:

My apologies to you, furry little thingamajig.
I was in a cranky mood earlier (before I took a nice short nap an hour ago) and must apologize for responding with sarcasm towards you. You are a cute little thingamajig, and no one should ever dare try to eat you!
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2008
Messages
1,458
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w6
I don't think life has a point either. But I find this idea liberating.
 

visaisahero

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
557
MBTI Type
ENTP
There once was a guy who swore he'd never ever buy a car. After all, he reasoned, all cars eventually break down and fail on their owners, and usually at the worst possible time. They're just too expensive, too much effort and nothing but disappointment.

He knows what he's talking about. He test-drove many cars in the past. He's witnessed many of his ignorant friends get excited about their new purchases, and then succumb to heartbreak as their tires burst, engines stalled and carburetors failed. Those who bothered to try repairing their cars often ended up spending much more time, money and energy than they ever intended to. Some of his friends spent their life savings on a vehicle, only to spend the rest of their lives wishing they hadn't been so hasty and had instead bought what they truly wanted. In some terrifying cases, the brakes gave way and the cars were totaled in horrific crashes- killing the drivers, who had so much promise in their lives.

"Why do people even bother with cars at all?", he often ponders, while smoking his pipe. (He knows that smoking is bad for his health- he has a nasty hacking cough, but he reasons that the pleasure is worth the pain.) Mistake after disappointment after mistake after disappointment, occasionally interspersed with tragedy and devastation! The world must be crazy, he reasons. It's a lonely place for a rational man.
 

Qre:us

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
4,890
We, as human beings, are self-important, and we're self-important because we were 'blessed' with intellect; an awareness of our existence.

But being aware of one's existence does not make that existence validated. We feed ourselves with purposes of living, reasons to believe that our individuality is unique and beautiful. But are we really?
That's what I struggle with daily. And I don't know why. I don't feel depressed about it, just despondent and... just being.

But, if you know that your mind/intellect is the only thing that allows you to even conceive of existence and its meaning, why are you trying to look for meaning external to that? (second bolded)

I guess, what I'm saying is, I don't understand your question given your premise.

If our 'importance' is a manifestation of our mind, then, we're important in our mind. Why would there be a need to even question our importance beyond the mind? Like asking questions such as 'what's the point of living? are we really [important]?' [as you said, even conceiving this...is all in the mind]

It's mind over matter.

My apologies to yo, furry little thingamajig.
I was in a cranky mood earlier (before I took a nice short nap an hour ago) and must apologize for responding with sarcasm towards you. You are a cute little thingamajig, and no one should ever dare try to eat you!

I'm not a thingamajig, I'm a platypus.
<--- See pic.
 

visaisahero

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
557
MBTI Type
ENTP
But being aware of one's existence does not make that existence validated. We feed ourselves with purposes of living, reasons to believe that our individuality is unique and beautiful. But are we really?

Awareness of one's existence can indeed validate that existence- at the individual level. There is no 'absolute' validation. Everything is relative. What is valid to me, for example, may not be valid to you. But that's really quite okay! :yes:
 

Blank

.
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
1,201
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
I think you're asking for the (or a) meaning of life on an internet forum. There's nothing wrong with that...It's just that you're asking for a meaning of life.
 

Faine

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
87
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
I hope you don't hate me for saying this, but the numbness you describe towards the world can be a symptom of depression. It's a general misconception that depressives feel constantly miserable when the regular state is more often one of emptiness. I say this from personal experience and not just something I've pulled out of my ass, by the by, though I'm of course by no means an expert.

At any rate, that's all besides the point. In regards to your reason for posting/questions etc... obviously I'm not an INTP and I really have no idea if this is something INTPs might commonly experience. All I can say is that I don't know of any quick-fix strategies of getting around something like this and yes, life definitely doesn't seem to have any particular point whatsoever. Ultimately though, I think that is the very thing that makes life special. If we had a point to existing that was dictated to us from the start... well, that would be kinda boring. In the end I think we all have to find our own reasons for living and one person's reason might be entirely different to anothers. Unfortunately humanity at large has a fantastic way of trying to dictate what people should come to expect and appreciate out of their lives and this can easily lead to a sense of disatisfaction and disappointment. Perfect careers and happy families don't work for everyone.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is: there isn't a point to life, you have to make one for yourself. If you want to drag yourself out of this sense of indifference you'll need to keep on experiencing things. Even if you're still completely numb to them at first, eventually you'll find something that strikes a chord. Just whatever you do, don't lock yourself away because 'meh, there's no point'; you'll just reinforce the sense of detachment. You are right, by the way, we do feed ourselves reasons for living, but is that a bad thing to do or is that simply just the way things work? Life is way too complicated to have one all-encompassing 'point'. It's like a clean canvas that we can do whatever we want with, filled with endless sensations, experiences and decisions. In the end, you've got one fact to work with: you exist. The details concering that existence are up to you.

I don't know if any of this helps at all but I don't really have anything else to add. I hope you manage to find something that fills you with some satisfaction again.
 

professor goodstain

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7~7
you became competent at what you did including the experiences involved and now it has nothing left to offer...imho
learn a different instrument perhaps?
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
Joined
Aug 7, 2009
Messages
1,954
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I shall follow this thread as your original post kind of greatly describes what I've been thinking about lately.
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
MBTI Type
3h50
That's the thing. I'm not actually depressed. I do not feel anxiety, I do not hate the world or the people in it. I am not suicidal, I don't want to kill myself, I don't feel threatened or invalid.

I just seem to be going through this phase of simply not caring about the things around me the way I used to. There's a sense of pointlessness about it all, even though I know full well that some things do have a point to them - seemingly so. Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I look at the people around me who are older, perhaps wiser, accomplished in their careers, etc, and I don't see a point to it. In the end, we'll all die, buried or incinerated, and all our tangible accomplishments washed away with the memory of our existence. It's the same for so many people: You work, you start a family, you grow old, you die. In between, you try to fill life with memories and experiences to make it all seem worth the while.

We, as human beings, are self-important, and we're self-important because we were 'blessed' with intellect; an awareness of our existence.

But being aware of one's existence does not make that existence validated. We feed ourselves with purposes of living, reasons to believe that our individuality is unique and beautiful. But are we really?

That's what I struggle with daily. And I don't know why. I don't feel depressed about it, just despondent and... just being.

That's the profound and important part. You're the only one in the entire history of the universe, all 14.7 billion years of it, who will get the chance to be you. If that's not worth living for, it's the people you come into contact with.

You were sick, and now you're well! Let's get to work.
 

Helios

Member
Joined
Dec 28, 2008
Messages
273
MBTI Type
INTP
Do any of you have a quick-fix strategy to help me overcome my annoying nonchalance towards feeling types? My general 'couldn't care less' attitude towards the human race -- myself included?

Certainly: watch comedies (I suggest Only Fools and Horses) and read history and philosophy.

I just wanted to know: Do INTPs normally go through such phases in their lives? Are we more prone to this than various other types? I know some cope with this better, but it is quite maddening to me.

I'm not sure. I have experienced something similar to what you are experiencing, and have now ceased experiencing it. However, my solution is by no means a "quick-fix", and would probably not be palatable to you.
 

tinkerbell

New member
Joined
Aug 31, 2008
Messages
3,487
MBTI Type
ENTP
astroninja

I don't think this is an INTP thing, I think its an introspective person thing.... If you choose to think about the wider issues then yes we are all insignificant.

Would you feel more fullfilled if your impact lasted beyond you life? Is that what is bothering you, that there is no true longevity of exsistance? > if that is the case then ensure you do something extra ordinary.

Personally I'd see that as an odd goal. When people are given poor prognosis' they try and live each day to make it count... if you cna capture part of that type fo thinking into your life you will achieve the most you can within your life.

Yes it may seem futile because of longevity, but whats so hot about longevity anyways. There are lots of ways you can measure value:
Happoness
Kindness
Popularity
Consideration
Intellegence
Achievement

You say you acheive career sucess early and it made you feel unfullfilled and alone... this suggest that you didnt' value what you were doing so you quit... not a bad outcome... what matters to you? And can you live to do that? That way you have more opportunity to live your life towards an outcome that works for you
 
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
76
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
I know this is foolish of me to say, because I lack the experience and the years for me to agree with what you just wrote, but I can relate somewhat to what you are writing.

It's not exactly loneliness I feel, it's this kind of weird detachment towards the world, which is probably propelled by uncertainty. I am unsure, because I am still trapped in this rose tinted glass house, and everything I see is through this rose coloured glass seemed so perfect, so nice and so rosy-tinted. Maybe, it's because I am still stuck in the limbo between a child and an adult, and mostly everyone I have met is still considered 'nice' in my book, or I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. But then in my lovely glass house, the glass is slowly cracking away, the doubt that are seeping into my mind and heart is slowly cracking away my glass house. I am seeing through the cracks, I am starting to see people's selfish motives and am starting to believe that not everything I see is true and that ideals are only ideals and happiness is fleeting, like fine grains of sand held on my hand. Because in some sense, I am scared that people would fail me. (in actual fact, i have failed myself when I 'disconnect')

In my glass house, I sit, unsure and perhaps fearful that everything I do would only bring a fleeting , maybe illusory, sense of happiness. And that everything I have worked so hard for, would be gone within moments. That would be devastating, and so I have come to moments where I turn numb towards everything - people, events, situations and myself. In a weird warped sense, maybe for me, this numbness is my security blanket for my uncertainty and fear towards life itself. Fear that maybe life is purposeless and that eventually, death erase what that has passed because in some way, it is a truth. Maybe, this detachment towards the 'world' (as a metaphor for everything and life itself) is stemmed from fear and in some sense, the fact that we are insignificant in the scheme of things.

... and maybe, all i have to get out of this endless abyss of thoughts is to believe that i am important, because i have always believed that everyone is connected by threads and lines, and that everyone is significant. I view life as this BIGGG HUGE complex spider web, and that all lines seen are actually one long long long thread which connects everyone together. and so, if you take a scissor and you snip one of the seen line, believing that the line is 'alone', it isn't, because one snip, and the other threads fall. like how people are never really alone in a sense, because this threads and lines are fixed onto us, maybe it can't be seen or felt, but it's there and that one thread could be what links everything together. .................. i don't think i make much sense.
 

yenom

Alexander the Terrible
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
1,755
I think life is a blank sheet of paper and what you choose to write or draw on there is up to you.

Is death making life meaningless?
 
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