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  1. #21
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I agree, you should just ask her -- we need no time to cool off. As stated above, and perhaps I speak for myself here, but I make my decision and I stick with it.

    I was in a serious relationship for two and half years with a guy who broke up with me without giving me a clear answer. I'm still not over it and it has been two years. I have begun to emotional detach myself with other relationships and rarely let someone in -- therefore, it is far easier when I give up on the relationship. When that inevitably happens, I walk away without EVER looking back. I read the person, and if I see they are looking to chop the ax on me (if you will), I quickly lose all investment and do it first. I suppose I'm rude like that.
    I won't seek contact with someone who I've been with before UNLESS I need them for something, saw them recently in an obscure place, or in case[s] of "the one who got away."
    She knows what she wants and has known for some time, I'm sure.

  2. #22
    Luctor et emergo Ezra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    I was with an ENTJ for a really long time, and we ended it mainly because I just was over him. This is how he responded:

    1) He wanted reasons, reasons, and more reasons as to why were breaking up. They had to be tangible and sensible. They were hard for me to give mainly because they were so emotionally-based, and I have trouble interpretting emotions.

    2) He really wanted the relationship to last, so he tried to figure out "solutions" to our problems. A futile effort, imo, considering that I was just completely disinterested in continuing.

    3) He started to point out all of the flaws he found in me. How I was too disorganized and whimsical and living in the clouds. He got bitter and angsty, and his insults towards me were his way of letting out his negative emotions I guess.

    4) He became over-the-top confident in a haughty "I don't need her" sort of way. I think he did this to convince himself that he was over me, even before he really was.
    Jesus fucking Christ, that is so unbelievably accurate of me.

  3. #23
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    1. Reasons yes. But the truth is really enough for me. Hit me hard and hit me straight, I deserve that much. And in no fussy language that leaves room for interpretation.

    2. Heh, OK guilty. But that's what we do, solve problems. It's instinctual.

    3. This I couldn't do, not towards him, because it didn't seem fair and it would be fake and I'd be aware of why I was lashing out so it wouldn't help me in any way of letting go. I wasn't gonna lie to myself. If it didn't bother me then, why would I let it bother me now, now that we're not together. Doesn't make sense to me. Lashing out is just a coping mechanism. However, generally, yes, towards my friends and family, yes. I'd act way more aggressive and harsh than usual. I'd take it out on people every chance I'd get. Just felt good. But not towards him. Maybe I just haven't gotten the chance..

    4. Hehe, I was like that the entire time at the end. Maybe because I knew it was coming..

  4. #24
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    Ughhh...most relationships with people I was once close to that ended were ended
    because I got tired of being pressured to be the prodigy or someone's new project.

    ENTJ

  5. #25
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    I was with an ENTJ for a really long time, and we ended it mainly because I just was over him. This is how he responded:

    1) He wanted reasons, reasons, and more reasons as to why were breaking up. They had to be tangible and sensible. They were hard for me to give mainly because they were so emotionally-based, and I have trouble interpretting emotions.

    2) He really wanted the relationship to last, so he tried to figure out "solutions" to our problems. A futile effort, imo, considering that I was just completely disinterested in continuing.

    3) He started to point out all of the flaws he found in me. How I was too disorganized and whimsical and living in the clouds. He got bitter and angsty, and his insults towards me were his way of letting out his negative emotions I guess.

    4) He became over-the-top confident in a haughty "I don't need her" sort of way. I think he did this to convince himself that he was over me, even before he really was.
    Yes. This sounds familiar when we get dumped. Been dumped once and reacted in a similar way.

    But if we're the ones that are breaking up, the results would be very different.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Rangler's Avatar
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    When I've truly felt love for a girl, which hasn't been many times, it feels like chaos has ripped a gapping whole into my life beyond my comprehension. I've been in shock for days. I've cried myself to sleep. I've argued about the "reasons", trying to logic my way back into her heart. I've been depressed. I've written four page letters.

    When I've felt nothing for a girl, which has been many times, it feels like freedom. I feel happy. I justify the breakup, sometimes poorly, and then file it away and move on. I do usually go though a period, about 6 months later and spend a week contemplating my choice, ultimately concluding it was necessary. Though sometimes a part of me truly does miss aspects of her. Within a year the memory is buried, and often I forget about it unless something jogs my memory.

    When I was younger, I was an idealist. I thought love worked a certain way. That it was absolute. That she was the "one". Now I seem to frustrate women with how unattached I can seem. It's really not my fault though. They will never know about the crying, depression, and letters that taught me to be this way.
    R[a]ngl[e]r

  7. #27
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    I've only been romantically fired once. By an ISFP I'd been seeing for long time.

    ISFP: "Listen I'm really sorry for this, but I don't know about us...you know."
    me: "No?"
    ISFP: "Well, it's just...god, this is so hard and awkward. It's just that I don't feel you get me. We're too different."
    me: "Okay. Anything I could resolve?"
    ISFP: "I don't know, you tease me too much and I know you're just playing, but it really hurts my feelings. And you're too wild and crazy."
    me: "Alright. Well, thanks for your honesty. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
    ISFP: "No, no, no! I'M sorry. I feel terrible. Really, I'm sorry."
    me: "Don't be."
    ISFP: "Thanks, Alex."

    (Hug and kiss) Yep. That quick and easy. I like nice clean cuts.

    I think I just went surfing afterwards. And then I moved on by the next day. But yeah. If someone wants out, I want them out. I'm not going to beg/force someone to stay against their natural will. I think that's why I don't get all emotional or demanding.

    The ISFP ended up calling me a week later wanting to get back together. I told him no. When a decision is made, it's finalized. No hard feelings, he's still a friend, but a done deal is a done deal.

    HOWEVER, an ENTJ I'd been dating got stalkerish and violent when I broke up with him. So it's still a rather individual reaction.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
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  8. #28
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I've only been romantically fired once. By an ISFP I'd been seeing for long time.

    ISFP: "Listen I'm really sorry for this, but I don't know about us...you know."
    me: "No?"
    ISFP: "Well, it's just...god, this is so hard and awkward. It's just that I don't feel you get me. We're too different."
    me: "Okay. Anything I could resolve?"
    ISFP: "I don't know, you tease me too much and I know you're just playing, but it really hurts my feelings. And you're too wild and crazy."
    me: "Alright. Well, thanks for your honesty. I'm sorry it didn't work out."
    ISFP: "No, no, no! I'M sorry. I feel terrible. Really, I'm sorry."
    me: "Don't be."
    ISFP: "Thanks, Alex."

    (Hug and kiss) Yep. That quick and easy. I like nice clean cuts.

    I think I just went surfing afterwards. And then I moved on by the next day. But yeah. If someone wants out, I want them out. I'm not going to beg/force someone to stay against their natural will. I think that's why I don't get all emotional or demanding.

    The ISFP ended up calling me a week later wanting to get back together. I told him no. When a decision is made, it's finalized. No hard feelings, he's still a friend, but a done deal is a done deal.

    HOWEVER, an ENTJ I'd been dating got stalkerish and violent when I broke up with him. So it's still a rather individual reaction.
    That transcript is definitely a poetic masterpiece. You should hang it up on your wall and pat yourself on the back.

    When I see so many people being distraught and depressed over stupid relationships, it really makes me feel like I'm on top of the world - because I know there's a big ocean of fish out there and I'm not going to let a few rotten worthless ones ruin the beauty of life.

    Fuck people that get emotional over break-ups. If its over - ITS OVER, one less piece of junk in your life, and with a happy ending every time too.

    Life goes on, business keeps booming, the world is calling, more profits, more opportunities, more gain, more happiness - LESS pointless and disgusting emotional break up melancholy seasons over people who breached their vows to be faithful.

    You will eventually find the "one," don't let emotions or field players get in the way.

  9. #29
    Senior Member bcubchgo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rangler View Post
    When I've truly felt love for a girl, which hasn't been many times, it feels like chaos has ripped a gapping whole into my life beyond my comprehension. I've been in shock for days. I've cried myself to sleep. I've argued about the "reasons", trying to logic my way back into her heart. I've been depressed. I've written four page letters.

    When I've felt nothing for a girl, which has been many times, it feels like freedom. I feel happy. I justify the breakup, sometimes poorly, and then file it away and move on. I do usually go though a period, about 6 months later and spend a week contemplating my choice, ultimately concluding it was necessary. Though sometimes a part of me truly does miss aspects of her. Within a year the memory is buried, and often I forget about it unless something jogs my memory.

    When I was younger, I was an idealist. I thought love worked a certain way. That it was absolute. That she was the "one". Now I seem to frustrate women with how unattached I can seem. It's really not my fault though. They will never know about the crying, depression, and letters that taught me to be this way.
    +1
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