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  1. #1
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Smile ENTPs, a little advice in the relationship department, please?

    There is an ENTP I like very, very much. He moved here recently and has been attending my school. I was interested in him the moment I saw him, and the same goes for him with me, apparently. So, I looked him up on facebook, added him, and have been talking to him ever since.. But I am so lost! So, I have some questions.
    Who has to take the innitiative? If he REALLY likes me like he claims, would he, or would he wait for me?
    How much can an ENTP tolerate? As an ENFP, I am extremely bubbly. Should I cool it a little when first talking to him?
    How should I approach him? What things should I talk to him about?
    If he says he thinks he is 'falling for me', how should I take that? Should I take that with a grain of salt, or recognize that as great potential?
    I'm sure there are a lot of things you can think of to tell me about your dating experiences. You know, the things that make you the most comfortable, what you look for in a girl, etc.
    I'm looking forward to you replies.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Important detail needed to your story: Have you poked him on facebook yet? Or has he poked you?


  3. #3
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Important detail needed to your story: Have you poked him on facebook yet? Or has he poked you?

    Haha! What? No.

  4. #4
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Leave the ball in his court, ENTP men play games, are contraty and never seem to step up the game....

    Only treat him with any seriousness if he is taking it seriously. Is he asking you out? Is he calling you back etc?

    If he is quite don't assume he is not into you - he may have been distracted y something shiney he saw in the street. On the other hand - don't waist your energy chasing.

  5. #5
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Very good advice Tinkerbell. <3 I'm not sure whether he is taking it seriously or not. He does innitiate conversation which to me means he atleast cares a little. There was also an instance where him and I were supposed to hang out, but his truck wouldn't start, and he apologized repeatedly.. And also told me he would make it up to me. Buuut, I'm still really unsure. ENTPs are SO HARD for me to read! I'm usually very very very good at reading people.. but ugh.

  6. #6
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
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    He apologized repeatedly? Yeah, he probably likes you.

    If you catch his references repeatedly, he probably likes you.

    I see how you can be confused. I've said things to girls I don't really like that they take as some sort of hint of me leading them on- wrong idea. However, if we're showing the secondary nature of being so self conscious when messing up (if it were a friend, I would have only apologized once), take all the hints you can; even if they're not hints because it makes us even more self-conscious, creating a bubble that bursts eventually. If/when you get to that moment, you'll have a lot to share.

    Now, if I wasn't so unsure of myself, I might tell you all the above is rock solid; probably isn't. People are different, but I try to keep it general.

    Also, definitely take Tinkerbell's advice. And seize the moment. If at one point we talk seriously, use it as a jumping off point to keep it that way.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Leave the ball in his court, ENTP men play games, are contraty and never seem to step up the game....
    Dont say that out too loud, we only do that with girls we think lack experience in certain departments
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    ENFP and ENTP courtship?

    Hmmmm.....will probably be witty Ne exchange type of flirting with hardly anyone getting direct.

    My advice to the ENFP girl--Flirt like how ENFJs do it. Meaning, occasionally, ask for a more direct statement on how he feels about you. (assuming that you two are already flirting like crazy, Ne style) Also, just make sure that you don't behave like that to everyone else (which ENFJs are guilty of). NTPs can be discouraged if you behave the same to everyone else.

  9. #9
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    I would like the direct approach - but maybe that's because I'm female. Or maybe because I'm usually the last one knowing about crushes and friends... that's the one thing my Ne doesn't register at all. I always think that's because of the NT combination - I'm not interested in all that relationship gossip, I'm interested in theories.

    Now, as for tradition... *I* was the one who approached an ESTJ man! (Aren't SJs the ones heavy on tradition?)
    He just could not understand my hints...
    But he DID understand this: "Look, I'm falling for you. You can do what you want with this, but I just want you to know." (okay, I confess, it sounded much more shaky and unsure when I actually said this)

    Maybe your ENTP just doesn't realize you are trying to seduce him... Just like my ESTJ, I'm unable to pick up hints about crushes and relationships. I remember a few persons who've tried to seduce me but I just went happily ahead not knowing about anything (until my mom said me "Tamske, I guess 'nice boy' has a crush on you, you should talk to him")!

    Edit:

    "If he says he thinks he is 'falling for me', how should I take that? Should I take that with a grain of salt, or recognize that as great potential?"

    He said to you he thinks he is falling for you?!? Just like I said to my ESTJ!
    You've got further than I thought. The correct response to this is:
    "Let's try it out!" (Just like he said to me)
    There is potential. Surely.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  10. #10
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    ^An ENTP and I ran each other in circles for almost a year. Just be direct. Saves time.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

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