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  1. #41
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Horrible, horrible, horrible idea. Why do you think you're entitled to have him do what you want without convincing him of the good sense of it? Not only that, why do you think you have the right to impose something upon him, instead of asking it of him? In other words, who the hell do you think you are?

    This is pretty much our strongest manifestation of Fe. It doesn't play well with Te, as you've noticed. You'll just have to deal with it, because he's not changing on that one.
    Yes. I've noticed. His reaction is usually almost hostile, towards which I back down and keep my mouth shut. But I'm not telling him what to do. I'm trying to guide him towards making the right decisions. I thought I was being helpful, but I guess ENTPs don't see it that way? I guess I'll keep my input to myself.

    EDIT: Alright, question answered. Don't govern an ENTP. I get it. I usually DO explain myself logically though. He gets a lip piercing? I tell him to clean it. He argues? I tell him if he doesn't it will get infected, etc.

    Another thing I'd like to adress.. How do I know he cares? I'm nearly positive he does, but it is quite hard to tell. It is like he is emotionless. With a feeler, I KNOW when they care. It's right out in the open.. With my ENTP? He is still so hard to read.

  2. #42
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    The bolded, this is the nail in the coffin if you want to end the interaction with an ENTP.

    If he's nice, he will tell you to kindly fuck off. If he's not so nice, he will figure out a way to do exactly what you don't want such that it negatively hinders you....just to stick it to you. (he's young, thus, these possibilities are likely)

    Do not try to control the ENTP. And, never, ever, ever, tell them what to do, unless it has a logical basis; in which case, you explain what can be done, and why (choice is important to them).

    They do not take sleights to personal autonomy very well, those ENTPs.
    He must like me a lot.. Because he hasn't done either. YET. He probably has done the 'stick it to me' thing, but I've probably just overlooked it.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    He gets a lip piercing? I tell him to clean it. He argues? I tell him if he doesn't it will get infected, etc.
    Your intentions are right, but, it may come off as nagging to him. Maybe, tell it as a general scenario, the horrors of lip piercing infection.....so he can 'clue in' himself?

  4. #44
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Yes. I've noticed. His reaction is usually almost hostile, towards which I back down and keep my mouth shut. But I'm not telling him what to do. I'm trying to guide him towards making the right decisions. I thought I was being helpful, but I guess ENTPs don't see it that way? I guess I'll keep my input to myself.
    You're just engaging it the wrong way. Use that Ne to good effect - ask questions! If he's doing something you have a problem with, instead of just saying straight up "you should blah blah blah", ask him "is there really a reason why so-and-so?". If there is, you know then, and everyone's happier. If there's not, he'll realize it and fix it of his own accord (knowing that it's bothering you). However, be careful - don't accuse him of anything. Keep it objective and about the situation, not his involvement in it.

    EDIT: Alright, question answered. Don't govern an ENTP. I get it. I usually DO explain myself logically though. He gets a lip piercing? I tell him to clean it. He argues? I tell him if he doesn't it will get infected, etc.
    "You know you've got to clean that thing, right?" "Yeah, of course" "I'm just saying, I've seen some pictures of nasty, infected lips, and let's just say, you don't want that happening to you".

    I 95% guarantee that he'll A. look up those pictures and B. never fail to clean that piercing agan.

    Another thing I'd like to adress.. How do I know he cares? I'm nearly positive he does, but it is quite hard to tell. It is like he is emotionless. With a feeler, I KNOW when they care. It's right out in the open.. With my ENTP? He is still so hard to read.
    Gift-giving. That's how we do it. Also, bothering to spend a whole lot of time with people. We tend to get really bored with others really quickly, if you didn't notice.

  5. #45
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    I tell him what to do (which is usually GOOD, responsible advice) he shoots back with 'I do what I want'. I feel like just laying down the law sometimes, but I don't want to offend him and push him away. It's hard.
    You're doing it wrong. When you want to influence people, as in, people in general, you need to give them a reason and not force them to do it. People don't generally give a shit if you think you're right, you need to give them a good reason and let them make the decision on their own.

    Do as onemoretime says, be more of a informant than a director. About the lip piercing- instead of basically saying "DO AS I SAY BECAUSE I KNOW BEST" (that also implies that you know better than him, which can imply superiority to someone, and it can be interpreted that way in the unconscious).

    Informing is better in my opinion when dealing with people. "Well I've heard that X and X is caused by getting a piercing, so you should probably look into that."

    Also don't try to read him and make decisions that will affect your relationship based on that. But that's hard to do as an ENFP. :P
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #46
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Aww. Well that is good to know. He does treat me with respect, but does not always watch himself. He'll make little remarks (Ex: 'why do you always ditch me?') that go right to the heart, but I try not to let it bother me. He REALLY dislikes when I authoritize, though. Every time I tell him what to do (which is usually GOOD, responsible advice) he shoots back with 'I do what I want'. I feel like just laying down the law sometimes, but I don't want to offend him and push him away. It's hard.
    I'm pretty sure he is beyond offense from the sounds of all this.

    And the proper response to
    'why do you always ditch me?' is 'because you suck, and I hate you'
    since this response probably wouldn't be normal for you. Make sure your tone is obviously sarcastic.

    As for the peircing issue, try chasing him down with whatever cleaning solution. Then just clean whatever needs to be cleaned for him. Silently.
    Then when you're done, you're going to kiss him. because that makes sense.

    You are now in a position to say that you will only kiss him if his peircing is clean. He won't be able take it as a threat. For several reasons...


    if he asks why, (that is if he CAN)
    you will say somthing like "because I don't want to" (kiss you, not not answer your question)

    I can't possibly know your situation fully, so use your own judgement when following my advice.

    He isn't going to question your affections for him. So ofense isn't really possible. And if I'm wrong, an apology will fix it.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post

    "You know you've got to clean that thing, right?" "Yeah, of course" "I'm just saying, I've seen some pictures of nasty, infected lips, and let's just say, you don't want that happening to you".

    I 95% guarantee that he'll A. look up those pictures and B. never fail to clean that piercing agan.
    hahaha so true!

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