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  1. #11
    Junior Member autobombo's Avatar
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    Who has to take the innitiative? If he REALLY likes me like he claims, would he, or would he wait for me?
    you do, especially if he likes you A LOT
    How much can an ENTP tolerate? As an ENFP, I am extremely bubbly. Should I cool it a little when first talking to him?
    pretty much anything that isn't obnoxious
    How should I approach him? What things should I talk to him about?
    [b]himself and his ideas about people and things[/b[
    If he says he thinks he is 'falling for me', how should I take that? Should I take that with a grain of salt, or recognize that as great potential?
    that is great. you've got him.

  2. #12
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Very good advice Tinkerbell. <3 I'm not sure whether he is taking it seriously or not. He does innitiate conversation which to me means he atleast cares a little. There was also an instance where him and I were supposed to hang out, but his truck wouldn't start, and he apologized repeatedly.. And also told me he would make it up to me. Buuut, I'm still really unsure. ENTPs are SO HARD for me to read! I'm usually very very very good at reading people.. but ugh.
    the main reason for your attraction is because you can't read him... and therfore need to work at it - a good thing in my opinion.

    Kick back and see what he does next, if he asks you out take him up on it... if not don't loose sleep. God have some fun with your mates in the meantime.

  3. #13
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Dont say that out too loud, we only do that with girls we think lack experience in certain departments
    lol well y'aknow us girls need to stick together, ENTP (pf which you seem remarkably the exception), seem to be a bit wishy washy in the begining... but once they are snagged they settle down a bit

  4. #14
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Since you are an ENTP then I would say it is best to approach him directly as a friend but indirectly as a lover. Facebook/email in combination to knowing them in the real world is a good way to pick up on a targets values. When I say values I particularly mean what do they think of the relation of themselves to the world. What are his goals? How does he value his abilities? What is his sense of deservedness? What does he think the likelihood of acquiring his goals? ENTP are pretty good/easy at letting you know their values and appreciate when you care to ask (if broken down into simple questions to lead the target down the flowery path i.e. begin with least intrusive questions and move up gradually to deeper questions). I find ENTPs in particular don't care much for selfcentered mates and are interested in people who show interest in learning their values or what makes them tic.

    After this you will have a better sense if he is an appropriate target for you.

    What is your seductive persona? If you don't have one, then it is a good idea to develop one in order to develop an effective seduction strategy.

    Last thing. The excuse about the broken down truck. This concerns me. Not whether the truck broke down but whether he will begin to treat you like a doormat(which is bad all around). Bust his balls a bit for this..nothing heavy...more of a playfully banter neg hit of calling him "a flake" (in a playful banter)...thus raising a challenge of perception and reframing for him to overcome.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  5. #15
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    Kidnap him. Let him know it's happening, but surprise him with an adventure. This could be a quest for a talking fish or 10 older people over 80, but just do something.
    We entps talk to a lot of people (and an enfp will understand what that means), and our acquaintances are numerous. Be someone he does things with, trusts, spends time with. That makes you more "real"... does that make sense?

    And to the bubbliness, I've dated an enfp, SO MUCH FUN! Don't be afraid to show your serious, deep side too. I know you have one, we have one as well. If it seems like he is being overly dramatic, awkward or forced when he speaks about his emotions... chances are they are very genuine. Maybe it changes when we age, but expressing those things still makes me uncomfortable, awkward or goofy. I mean it, but it sounds really strange. Try not to make too much fun of him for that. My ex-Enfp always thought I was lying, or that I had rehearsed things. Made for poor communication.

    Be direct about what you want! It sounds like you are on the right track, especially if he has already expressed what he feels!!! Keep having fun. Good luck lady!
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  6. #16
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
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    Oh, I forgot to add this. ENFP's have an incredible ability to innately mould to the needs and desires of others. That is part of what makes them such skilled communicators, because they can so readily adapt to others. ENTP's do this too when we are aware that other people are around us, the rest of the time we are in our brains. Please don't change yourself to be "cooled down" for this person, or you will both be spinning around each-other waiting for feedback or a reaction to make judgements from. Just be yourself! Sounds corny, but it's true. Why be with someone you can't be as ridiculous and amazing as you are around them? Besides, we are pretty damn good at snuffing out bullshit, which includes people who are holding themselves back or over editing themselves. This is probably a person you can let go with, so do it!
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  7. #17
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Not too sure about the "mirror his seriousness level" style advice... I know for myself, about the only way I can face expressing serious emotions is through the medium of humour...

    Edit - In fact, if he's expressing emotions at all through humour, then I'd say if it's done sarcastically, he doesn't mean them. If it's not, then he probably does.

    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Bust his balls a bit for this..nothing heavy...more of a playfully banter neg hit of calling him "a flake" (in a playful banter)...thus raising a challenge of perception and reframing for him to overcome.
    Not too sure about this, either... if he's innocent and genuine, he'll find it irritating. Plus, I've noticed that when ENFP's try to do the "true words said in jest" thing, it often comes off as confrontational, however "jokey" they try to seem... I think possibly because the difference is kinda between "I could be bothered about this, but I'm truly not, so I'm joking about it to let you know I could be, and might be if you do it again or worse in future", and "I am bothered about this, but I'm pretending not to be by joking about it". The first I usually pick up on as fair warning, and I'm cool with it. The second puts my back right up, and gets me in a panic cos I feel sure that this is about to become some tedious head game...

    The difference in intention tends to usually be pretty obvious, and if you can't pull it off so it comes over as the first of those, or if you do mean the second but are going for the first, then it's likely to have your ENTP jotting you down as a possibly neurotic head-gamer, and he'll bolt.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  8. #18
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Not too sure about this, either... if he's innocent and genuine, he'll find it irritating. Plus, I've noticed that when ENFP's try to do the "true words said in jest" thing, it often comes off as confrontational, however "jokey" they try to seem... I think possibly because the difference is kinda between "I could be bothered about this, but I'm truly not, so I'm joking about it to let you know I could be, and might be if you do it again or worse in future", and "I am bothered about this, but I'm pretending not to be by joking about it". The first I usually pick up on as fair warning, and I'm cool with it. The second puts my back right up, and gets me in a panic cos I feel sure that this is about to become some tedious head game...

    The difference in intention tends to usually be pretty obvious, and if you can't pull it off so it comes over as the first of those, or if you do mean the second but are going for the first, then it's likely to have your ENTP jotting you down as a possibly neurotic head-gamer, and he'll bolt.
    Although true in other contexts in this context find ENFPs to be pretty good with the "true words said in jest" thing. They have strong intuition and are good at calibrating feelings. For example the TypoC member EnFpFer is quiet good at this.

    ENTJs on the other hand can be quiet dry and funny at this game but even the most resilient and objective of types have a bit of a hard time putting up with it for a length or finding it seductive.

    When we are given these tools to massage the feelings of others it is best if we note they are applied with moderation and in a timely manner. Often the concept of push/pull and hot/cold comes into play when using these tools in seduction.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  9. #19
    Senior Member Fuent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    Leave the ball in his court, ENTP men play games, are contraty and never seem to step up the game....

    Only treat him with any seriousness if he is taking it seriously. Is he asking you out? Is he calling you back etc?

    If he is quite don't assume he is not into you - he may have been distracted y something shiney he saw in the street. On the other hand - don't waist your energy chasing.
    OMG getting through your post was like hearing fingernails on a chalkboard. Please spell correctly and use the correct words.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    INTP... I think not.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Fuent's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Not too sure about this, either... if he's innocent and genuine, he'll find it irritating. Plus, I've noticed that when ENFP's try to do the "true words said in jest" thing, it often comes off as confrontational, however "jokey" they try to seem... I think possibly because the difference is kinda between "I could be bothered about this, but I'm truly not, so I'm joking about it to let you know I could be, and might be if you do it again or worse in future", and "I am bothered about this, but I'm pretending not to be by joking about it". The first I usually pick up on as fair warning, and I'm cool with it. The second puts my back right up, and gets me in a panic cos I feel sure that this is about to become some tedious head game...

    The difference in intention tends to usually be pretty obvious, and if you can't pull it off so it comes over as the first of those, or if you do mean the second but are going for the first, then it's likely to have your ENTP jotting you down as a possibly neurotic head-gamer, and he'll bolt.
    I agree with this. I've experienced this with an ENFP where however jokey they try to put it, it still comes off as confrontational and it's very irritating. It doesn't even matter if I'm being genuine or not in my excuse. It's controlling and it kind of feels like I'm being lectured in a subtly manipulative way.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    INTP... I think not.

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