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  1. #1
    videodrones; questions Verfremdungseffekt's Avatar
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    Default Anxiety and the INTP

    Okay. I really don't cope with stress well, and I know this is archetypically a thing that INTPs struggle with. Everyone has troubles, I know, irrespective of type. I am, however, looking at the unusually tangy INTP flavor of anxiety, that starts with inferior Fe weirdness where you pick up emotions and don't know what to do with them, then gets caught up a Ti-Si loop that eats up all the mental cycles so there's no buffer left to work with to make that lateral jump you need to tear out of that loop.

    There's nothing like a confrontation to make me shut off. Whenever there's a challenge, or an expectation put on me, I freeze. If I've got someone breathing down my neck, demanding an answer or a solution, I freeze harder. The only thing I can think is that I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, and that maybe, if possible, I'd like to vanish.

    I've all my little theoretical tricks to help me cope, and they're fine when I'm on my own and have all the time in the world; when I'm in the moment, they all fall down. The problem is that my mind just stops working. I can't think of a damned thing. I can't remember any of my little tricks, and being up in the moment I don't have the time or space to work things out. So, it's just blank. I can barely even find words to put together. What little does come out tends to be frantic, flailing, sub-articulate requests for space so that I can pull myself together. I don't hear myself, and I have a hard enough time just speaking that choosing words carefully is beyond me. Yet that lack of ability to form a coherent sentence can often make things worse.

    I guess I've always had this problem; it's become more pronounced over the last ten years or so. And it's... becoming problematic.

    So. Yeah. Any INTPs out there hit on how to dim down the freak-out?

  2. #2
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Punch someone.

    EDIT. Failing that. Insist on a timeout. I have to get away from the source of stress/anxiety in order to be able to order my thoughts, calm myself down and plan a course of action. If you have to, just walk away.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  3. #3
    Feline Member kelric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    There's nothing like a confrontation to make me shut off. Whenever there's a challenge, or an expectation put on me, I freeze. If I've got someone breathing down my neck, demanding an answer or a solution, I freeze harder. The only thing I can think is that I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, and that maybe, if possible, I'd like to vanish.

    I've all my little theoretical tricks to help me cope, and they're fine when I'm on my own and have all the time in the world; when I'm in the moment, they all fall down. The problem is that my mind just stops working. I can't think of a damned thing. I can't remember any of my little tricks, and being up in the moment I don't have the time or space to work things out. So, it's just blank. I can barely even find words to put together. What little does come out tends to be frantic, flailing, sub-articulate requests for space so that I can pull myself together. I don't hear myself, and I have a hard enough time just speaking that choosing words carefully is beyond me.

    I guess I've always had this problem; it's become more pronounced over the last ten years or so. And it's... becoming problematic.

    So. Yeah. Any INTPs out there hit on how to dim down the freak-out?
    Boy, does this feel familiar. I don't know if this is much help, but the only thing that I've ever come up with is to just not get into these situations to begin with. Once I'm in one, like you say, my brain just sort of locks up, and any preparation that I've made to handle the situation just vanishes -- until the situation's over and I kick myself repeatedly for "how I should have handled that." If you can head things off *before* this happens, your chances at handling it might be better than trying to think coherently in the middle of a confrontation or expectation. Try to predict when these may happen, and handle them before they do (not always realistic, I know, but it can help).

    If you do get stuck in one of these things, keep it simple. Don't expect yourself to come up with a fantastic resolution like you might if you were thinking things through on your own. If at all possible, defer your answers (don't commit to an answer - if you're like me, this will happen instinctively, which is what you need when you can't think) until you've had time to think about it. For example, if you're at work and someone comes up and demands an answer or an explanation, say "let me think about it and write you an email." Then (and this is important) - DO THAT. Get people into the habit of knowing that when you say that, you mean it, and that you're *not* just trying to avoid them. It will mean that you're much less likely to be forced into an "on the spot" decision in the future.

    In a personal confrontation, I have no help to offer . I've struggled with those my entire life and haven't yet found anything that helps much -- other than to associate with people who will give me the benefit of the doubt. But for me, this is a weak point, and a place where people can (and have) taken advantage of me.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Today my ISFP told me to chill.

    I was reading into navel piercings this morning, and found out they have a relatively high rejection rate. I looked into the symptoms of piercing rejection; one of them being "soreness". Feeling around the wound, I found that the area had become red and swollen. At that moment I started to panic, muttering, "ohgodohgodohgod" over and over. ISFP insisted that the wound is bound to be sore, so there was no need to worry.

    I'm also terrible with deadline stress, especially with exams. I never feel like I have studied as much as I could have done, and so I spiral into panic-mode and convince myself that I'm doomed to fail.
    Um, yeah.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
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    I sometimes suffer from anxiety, as is normal in all humans. Sometimes it's worse, to a point where it becomes very unpleasant, but this rarely happens and I don't think I'm more anxious then most other people. Plus I've got enough mindfulness to deal with it in most situations.
    (removed)

  6. #6
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    I have learned at times like these its best to allow yourself to slip into your Shadow function ENTJ. Extroverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Feeling (Fi) Its kinda like Dr. Banner turning into the Incredible Hulk. The more you fight it the more screwed up/funcky/out of control/constipated it is.

    I used to mistype the metamorphsis as a super ego kick ass INTJ but its most just an ENTJ, and it feels like being on ritalin. Accept your inner demon and then control it by becoming one with it.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
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  7. #7
    videodrones; questions Verfremdungseffekt's Avatar
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    Spamtar, can you go into more detail there? How does this slip work? Is it just seizing on the anxiety and flipping it around and pushing through somehow?

  8. #8
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aderack View Post
    Spamtar, can you go into more detail there? How does this slip work? Is it just seizing on the anxiety and flipping it around and pushing through somehow?
    I still more than occasionally get anxious and stay in INTP character. Its rather those extreme scenarios...Girlfriend left ya, someone gets in your face to start a fight, emergency, and (edit) etc. and even then handling those "extreme" situations can be easier in INTP mode than a lot of the day to day drab.

    I noticed the transformation short term most of my life. I almost always tried to fight it and it made the anxiety worse. It was only at one point where the stress was so extreme were I was even to the point of wanting to off myself that the ENTJ "superego" took over long term (don't recall how long, maybe somewhere between a couple of weeks to several months) regardless it got shit back on base.

    So what I am saying it is useful in my life accepting this (for lack of a better word) gestalt. It is useful knowing it is there when I am stressed, and not fighting it when/if it comes out (regardless if it decides to take over or no). It is useful crafting it in my mind so I will be familiar with it, luckily for me the shadow function person has been pretty useful (although not as concerned with harmony as I) and is usual proficient (although its not perfect and can go overboard).

    So in other words, with me its about acceptance and crafting both your persona as well as your shaddow persona and be cofortable with the transformation, the anxiety prior to the transformation, and the shadow function persona himself/herself.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  9. #9
    videodrones; questions Verfremdungseffekt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kelric View Post
    If at all possible, defer your answers (don't commit to an answer - if you're like me, this will happen instinctively, which is what you need when you can't think) until you've had time to think about it. For example, if you're at work and someone comes up and demands an answer or an explanation, say "let me think about it and write you an email." Then (and this is important) - DO THAT.
    Yes, this is a good point. Two things to note here -- one, to drill in a default response or two, along those lines, that I know I can perform without grasping. And two, as you say, to make sure to follow up.

    I think having the former to hand may help along the latter, as it will become a sort of a process rather than yet another bit of stress that I'm trying to resolve in my mind. Right now I've a problem where, if I do manage to put things off, it's such a relief to get the weight off my mind that I forget about them altogether. And so when I've got a bunch of things to fret about, I'm never quite sure what I may or may not be forgetting.

  10. #10
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    I tend to withdraw at times when I get into the stress.

    Deadline stress for me is sometimes productive as long as it doesn't go on much longer than a week or two. I hate it, but it makes me focus a bit more and sort of get things done whether they're perfect and consistent or not.

    With the personal conflict stress, I often withdraw, but it depends. If it's an argument or ongoing issue that has just come to a head and just pushed me past the point of all tolerance and reason then I can have the super-volcano like explosion.

    This is the kind of event that only happens to me maybe once every 5 years, but I basically become ruthless and I rip the object of my anger to shreds and the result is usually shock and tears on their part. Seriously. I temporarily become very aggressive and very ruthless. For me this little explosion lasts about 30 minutes but it contains all the things that have been building up for months or years. It aint pretty, but in a certain way it works and things changed one way or another. Perhaps not a productive response but it gets me by under extreme circumstances.

    Perhaps this is what Spamtar is talking about. "It's the devil in the flesh/It's the iron in my soul."

    I don't know if there is any way to make it happen and I'm not sure I'd wish it to. For me, something just sort of can't take anymore so "evil me" comes out to play and "evil me" can be very strong and devastating. People don't know what hit them and never saw it coming.

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