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Thread: Help with INTJs

  1. #1
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Default Help with INTJs

    How do I, as an NT who's a bit slow on the uptake of people's motivations, dreams and aspirations, motivate, cajole or otherwise enthuse an INTJ?

    The man in question is quite disaffected but can be warm and friendly sometimes. I just find it hard to crack his whole armour of "I've already thought of that" to get to the juicy inner core of decisions yet to be made so that I can have some influence, feel like I'm part of the process and also to help him when he sees things as going wrong and starts to give up.

    Basically I have this problem with all TJs but this one is someone I care about and it'd be nice to be able to feed him some energy when he's feeling low or show him some hope when he thinks that it's all pointless.

    Any pointers?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  2. #2
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
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    Quit trying to use a monkeywrench on his guts for one thing -- they hate that.

  3. #3
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    Quit trying to use a monkeywrench on his guts for one thing -- they hate that.
    I'll start with the podge hammer then

    He'll luuurve that
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #4
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    I'll start with the podge hammer then

    He'll luuurve that
    Careful. INTJs are better with hammers than we are.

    But feel free to find out for yourself.

  5. #5
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    Careful. INTJs are better with hammers than we are.

    But feel free to find out for yourself.
    Pssst. Podge hammer is a plumber's spanner.

    Oh and this one is not so good with the hammer...more the kukri, the stilletto and the dirk. He's the one that always finds the chinks and often strikes without thought
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  6. #6
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Pssst. Podge hammer is a plumber's spanner.
    Regardless of your silly britishisms, my statement is still factual.

  7. #7
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    Regardless of your silly britishisms, my statement is still factual.
    Yeah yeah and I bet your Texan hammers are larger and heavier than anyone elses.

    They still probably handle like menhirs but you lot don't care about that.

    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  8. #8
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Yeah yeah and I bet your Texan hammers are larger and heavier than anyone elses.

    They still probably handle like menhirs but you lot don't care about that.

    No idea -- I don't compare hammer size. It's irrelevant.

    I prefer flechettes.

    But more on topic, you haven't really described the problem [and your attempts at a solution] enough to generate helpful input from anyone. How well do you know this INTJ? And in what context? Why do you care? Etc.

    All INTJs are not created equal, y'know.

  9. #9
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    No idea -- I don't compare hammer size. It's irrelevant.
    Yeah yeah. Bet you been hit by enough to know the difference. Oh Zena of the Texan bars
    I prefer flechettes.
    Personally I prefer THV but they're rare so I doubt they'd be any good.

    The real question is what calibre?
    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    But more on topic,
    there's a topic??? Oh yeah that thing
    Quote Originally Posted by raincrow007 View Post
    you haven't really described the problem [and your attempts at a solution] enough to generate helpful input from anyone. How well do you know this INTJ? And in what context? Why do you care? Etc.

    All INTJs are not created equal, y'know.
    This much I recognise but I was trying to be specific. How to crack the shell of decisions and such to reach the decision making in progress. More detail would produce more sideline discussion would it not?

    I'll illuminate the problem fully and see how it works out.
    This INTJ. Mr Sour, is the DM of a gaming group. Now we've had a rocky start to the current game with people being unavailable and hence we've played only one evening so far in about three months. He's starting to get put off by this and how some people in the group (the extroverts) don't seem enthusiastic to him. I'm trying to gee him up by pointing out that they won't really be interested in the concept stage and that he should wait until we start playing to get a feel for their enthusiasm. However despite this and other more subtle attempts to keep him behind the project (without a DM we're screwed, for one thing, and for another Mr Sour is not always a popular person in our little circle and I like to spend some time devoted to keeping him all bright and shiny cause I'd hate to see him get upset at the amount of backlash he generates (he's a true NT )). As for why I care, he's a friend dumb-ass :rolli:

    Despite all that though I'd like to be able to use any advice in other contexts too, hence why I removed the context originally.

    [That better?]
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  10. #10
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Piss em off. That always gets a reaction.

    I am dating an INTJ and it's proving to be a strange experience. He can be friendly and warm, just not in a personable way. I found if I get him talking about his favorite subject then he will get excited to an extent and show some enthusiasm.

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