User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 42

Thread: Help with INTJs

  1. #11
    Senior Member raincrow007's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    440

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Despite all that though I'd like to be able to use any advice in other contexts too, hence why I removed the context originally.

    [That better?]
    Much better, you dumbass.

    Sounds like your INTJ is pissed that people are wasting his time. Very common problem, I'd wager. Have you tried asking him what he's thinking about in relation to the problem? Repeatedly ask "why" until you get down to something binary. Work from there, if desired.

    Also, in keeping with your peacemaking tendencies: aid him by making sure no events are scheduled unless there's a guarantee that all parties will be present.

    On the other hand, who the hell wants to deal with a peevish INTJ DM? Sure, things will get done -- but probably not in an enjoyable manner if he's a social retard.

  2. #12
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kiddo View Post
    Piss em off. That always gets a reaction.

    I am dating an INTJ and it's proving to be a strange experience. He can be friendly and warm, just not in a personable way. I found if I get him talking about his favorite subject then he will get excited to an extent and show some enthusiasm.
    For such black and white people, at times, it's almost like someone's taken a large bottle of water to their enthusiasm somedays... mind you I fin that with most NTs. Bloody apathy!!

    Now when drunk this INTJ can be very friendly, as Lori found out much to her dismay, but that seems about it. Most of the rest of the time you get brain in a jar syndrome.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  3. #13
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1
    Posts
    3,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    Yeah yeah. Bet you been hit by enough to know the difference. Oh Zena of the Texan bars

    Personally I prefer THV but they're rare so I doubt they'd be any good.

    The real question is what calibre?

    there's a topic??? Oh yeah that thing

    This much I recognise but I was trying to be specific. How to crack the shell of decisions and such to reach the decision making in progress. More detail would produce more sideline discussion would it not?

    I'll illuminate the problem fully and see how it works out.
    This INTJ. Mr Sour, is the DM of a gaming group. Now we've had a rocky start to the current game with people being unavailable and hence we've played only one evening so far in about three months. He's starting to get put off by this and how some people in the group (the extroverts) don't seem enthusiastic to him. I'm trying to gee him up by pointing out that they won't really be interested in the concept stage and that he should wait until we start playing to get a feel for their enthusiasm. However despite this and other more subtle attempts to keep him behind the project (without a DM we're screwed, for one thing, and for another Mr Sour is not always a popular person in our little circle and I like to spend some time devoted to keeping him all bright and shiny cause I'd hate to see him get upset at the amount of backlash he generates (he's a true NT )). As for why I care, he's a friend dumb-ass :rolli:

    Despite all that though I'd like to be able to use any advice in other contexts too, hence why I removed the context originally.

    [That better?]
    INTJs go into their cave (as FMWarner will tell you) when they have something to figure out. You have to go caving with them; they don't voluntarily take people but when someone else turns up next to you when we think we're alone in the cave, we get excited and you can "play" with us. Just generate ideas for him; let him talk unless he specifically asks for your input. If you feed his Ni and let him roll, he'll go faster than he would if he was stimulating his own brain. Then he'll appreciate you and perhaps talk to you next time before he has solved the problem, assuming that if you had originally helped him get from A-Z faster, you can do it again.

    Key is, the first time, to keep your mouth shut as much as possible so as not to annoy the Ni process. It's very difficult to let anyone see that. I've done it with other INTJs and a few ENFJs, though; it can be done.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  4. #14
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9w8
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    4,463

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    INTJs go into their cave (as FMWarner will tell you) when they have something to figure out. You have to go caving with them; they don't voluntarily take people but when someone else turns up next to you when we think we're alone in the cave, we get excited and you can "play" with us. Just generate ideas for him; let him talk unless he specifically asks for your input. If you feed his Ni and let him roll, he'll go faster than he would if he was stimulating his own brain. Then he'll appreciate you and perhaps talk to you next time before he has solved the problem, assuming that if you had originally helped him get from A-Z faster, you can do it again.

    Key is, the first time, to keep your mouth shut as much as possible so as not to annoy the Ni process. It's very difficult to let anyone see that. I've done it with other INTJs and a few ENFJs, though; it can be done.
    Ooo that's useful.. We do chat a bit...usually till about 2am unfortunately it just never seems like I have any impact. I'm sitting there throwing out ideas, usually watching them get batted down, and then he decides seemingly in a vacuum!! It's most disheartening.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #15
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    eNFJ
    Enneagram
    4w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    eNFJ Ni
    Posts
    11,443

    Default

    Well, with my male INTJ best friend, I just told him plainly and calmly that the social group he most enjoys is having an issue with some of his, shall we say, spinier, behaviors, and I put it into "necessary" terms, meaning you have to make it somehow relevant or logical to them to alter course. In my case, he saw the logic in changing his behavior because he valued his close friends and wanted to continue being a part of the group, so he made a few amendments.

    Getting aggressive rarely works. (I have had to take a strong tone with him before, but it was pertinent to the situation, and since he's not made of dust, he could take some justifiable anger directed at him.) Gentle persuasion, in my experience, has worked best, though his other best friend, a male INTP (and my ex boyfriend) has employed the "boot to the rear" method a time or two with great effect.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  6. #16
    Senior Member ptgatsby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    4,474

    Default

    Simple answer.

    Just tell him at some point, after building them up and being patient, he'll be able to destroy all their work with one small sentance.

    "You were eaten by a grue".

    I could of done a Dr Seuss with that,
    just not with my cold and flu.

  7. #17
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,377

    Default

    I'm always hesitant to have an INTJ DM. I think they tend to plan out everything so much that they really don't need the input of the players. In fact having real players interact in their world is just going to screw up the storyline that they have already intricately planned out.

    Anyway cracking an INTJ isn't that hard when you understand their motivations. INTJ's tend to be frustrated that other people don't realize how truly brilliant they are, so you can win points by feeding this delusion. (Do it subtly though, if you overdo it, then you will turn them off.) This will be enough to stroke their ego, but it won't be enough for them to actually respect you in any way. For that you have to get involved into their interests and help feed it in some way. Often times knowing the subject thoroughly enough so that they can bounce ideas off of you is all that this takes, because if nothing else it helps them to verbalize the ideas that they've already had but couldn't adequately express. Once you are past the preliminaries then the INTJ will be willing to open up more, so you can learn more tricks toward the specific INTJ in question.
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  8. #18
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    3,466

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    Anyway cracking an INTJ isn't that hard when you understand their motivations. INTJ's tend to be frustrated that other people don't realize how truly brilliant they are, so you can win points by feeding this delusion. (Do it subtly though, if you overdo it, then you will turn them off.) This will be enough to stroke their ego, but it won't be enough for them to actually respect you in any way. For that you have to get involved into their interests and help feed it in some way. Often times knowing the subject thoroughly enough so that they can bounce ideas off of you is all that this takes, because if nothing else it helps them to verbalize the ideas that they've already had but couldn't adequately express. Once you are past the preliminaries then the INTJ will be willing to open up more, so you can learn more tricks toward the specific INTJ in question.
    Well put, sadly.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  9. #19
    Senior Member htb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9
    Posts
    1,506

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Liquid_Laser View Post
    I'm always hesitant to have an INTJ DM. I think they tend to plan out everything so much that they really don't need the input of the players. In fact having real players interact in their world is just going to screw up the storyline that they have already intricately planned out.
    Interesting.

    I ran a group of eight and nine players for three years, every weekend, summers and holidays, and the most memorable sessions were when the more inventive of the party would veer off, forcing me to ad-lib. It really was exhilarating -- once a suspension of disbelief had been achieved, I could choose to employ, based on the expressions of my friends, which of the plot devices I had thought of the minute before.

    How, I wonder, does that reflect on either me or your observation?

  10. #20
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENfP
    Enneagram
    8w9 sx/sp
    Posts
    1,219

    Default

    Here are some lines to try:

    "You can do it! I know you can!!"
    "Why not?"
    "But you just said *insert contradiction they made*!" <--*note: It is a good idea to watch out for these....lol
    "There has to be a way!"
    "But what're you gonna do when x happens?" <-- Just keep expanding from this point...hopefully you'll get them to contradict themselves so that you can use the one above.
    "Do it for me!! If you don't then I can't x(something that is extremely important to you)!!" *begins sobbing*

    Last resort! (only use this after the crying one):
    Sit with your neck limp, your eyes blank and fixed in one place, and your mouth slightly open. Keep your body still. Make tears roll down your eyes silently. Do not move or respond to anything they do! After five to ten minutes, slowly look up at them into their eyes, while keeping the tears still rolling. If they get up and leave, wait ten seconds, then call their name out quietly and move a foot in their direction.

    If the above does not work, then I cannot help you.
    sparkly sparkly rainbow excretions

    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    holy shit am I a feeler?
    if you like my avatar, it's because i took it myself! : D

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] INTJ needs help with INFP....
    By Rezdawg1 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 05-05-2016, 03:34 PM
  2. [INTJ] An INTJ needs help with overcoming an audience phobia
    By Elaine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-01-2014, 02:13 PM
  3. [ENFP] ENFP needs help with lovable but frustrating INTJ
    By Blossom500 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 07-14-2010, 01:59 PM
  4. [Fi] INTJ Needs Help with Fi
    By Uytuun in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 09-08-2009, 12:03 PM
  5. [MBTItm] ESFJ's help an INTJ out, please. (INTJ female needs help with ESFJ male)
    By Harlow_Jem in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 07-25-2008, 07:41 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO