Sounds like your INTJ is pissed that people are wasting his time. Very common problem, I'd wager. Have you tried asking him what he's thinking about in relation to the problem? Repeatedly ask "why" until you get down to something binary. Work from there, if desired.
Also, in keeping with your peacemaking tendencies: aid him by making sure no events are scheduled unless there's a guarantee that all parties will be present.
On the other hand, who the hell wants to deal with a peevish INTJ DM? Sure, things will get done -- but probably not in an enjoyable manner if he's a social retard.