[INTJ] Meh, I need you INTJs and your...help

[funkadelik]

I'm abducting my own thread and turning it into a minor rant:

My INTJ has a lot of work. I understand. But it is beginning to interfere seriously with the relationship, in my opinion. Maybe not in his (I don't really know what an INTJ would think concerning this). The last two times I have seen him, it has been three weeks in between. When I chat on the phone with him, he spends a nice amount of time conversing with his family members.

I have expressed my sentiments clearly, and multiple times. I am not one to get offended easily and whatnot from a lack of contact, but this is getting bothersome. I like talking to people I like. So why must it seem like he is becoming distant? I don't doubt his like for me, but I am beginning to think that maybe he has too much work with college to be with me.

It is all very annoying, because I can't find a black and white answer to this situation.

My experience with INTJs in the field of dating was decent. We got along great, mentally, but there was very little connection emotionally. He was staunchly emotionally unavailable (and admittedly this is what attracted me initially to him so much), but it soon became a shell of a relationship. We could have been "just friends" and had the same dynamic. And honestly, it's a lot less messy now that we are. That "love" thing about relationships need not apply and I think we're both happier/more relieved because of it.

Anyway, I have nothing constructive to tell you about your situation. It probably would have worked out between us if, I dunno, I'd like to say "if we had both done things differently" but really it probably would have worked out better if he weren't so emotionally distant. Course, it'd be irrational to "write off" INTJs in the future, but maybe I'd be more inclined to try one who's a little more in touch with his feelings.

Them feeling things aren't bad. Can't really see the point of a romantic relationship without them.

 

[Antimony]

He is an exceptionally emotional INTJ, I think. He is really attached and all. But, I dunno. Something must be working if we have been together for a year and a half.

Although, ever since the college work...agh! I have no constructive thoughts!

 

[kafkacat]

INTJ's are motivated by a personal desire for something, and they learn through life's big lessons by hitting rock bottom, but they always find their own way to what they need to achieve for themselves. Other ppl's pressures never do the trick, but a calm and rational, honest conversation is a good way to get your message across.

 

[Antimony]

Tried it.

I guess some people really do need to hit rock bottom...and then go further.