[NT] INTs how often do you "run away" from socializing ?

[Skyline]

In the worst case I'll avoid interaction on purpose.
Usually with people whom I don't feel like I have a connection with at that moment, even though I 'know' them.
Or for having a lack of anything relevant/meaningful to say, or 'cause I'm preoccupied.
For instance, when being in the store I don't always feel the need to turn around for every known face there is (unless we've been friends or something).
Also, sometimes I just really can't force a genuine smile or excited "Hiii *kiss*" for everyone. (I'm not best buds with everyone, don't need to do every person a favor, and pretty honest about it.)
And when at social gatherings, I'll do something on my own for a sec; "sit back and relax" (and retreat for a little while).
But as I said, that's at my worst - socially, that is.

 

[kelric]

I am curious how other INTs behave when they don't want to hang out with people but they "have too" .

...

Comments ?

It depends on the situation. If it's something that I really don't want to go to, I won't go -- I'll find some reason that I "can't make it". That's really pretty rare, though (outside of family holidays, etc., which I generally avoid -- I'd rather see the family at other times).

However, when it comes to larger parties and events, I absolutely retreat. My usual strategy is to show up "right on time", and since most people show up "sometime in the first hour or two", this means that I have time to socialize with the hosts in a smaller group, which I like. Then, when things get busier and more "wild", I'll leave early. I don't slip out -- I'll always make my goodbyes to the host and leave pretty openly.

Sometimes you can't leave early though... in those cases, I do things like these:

• Play with pets. Pets are great if you want to be quiet, mostly left alone, and yet part of the group. Plus, I like animals .
• Volunteer to help the hosts with some small task, even if just to get a temporary break from the forced social interaction by having something else to focus on for a while. Helping in the kitchen, making a run to the store to pick up ice, etc.
• Sports. If it's a crowd that likes sports and has a game on, it's usually pretty easy to join that group and simply watch quietly. Actually paying attention to the game is optional
• Talk to other introverts that I know well, in an isolated group. Stake out a corner of a room (often the kitchen *munchmunch*), and have a more private conversation.

Usually it's "enjoy what of the situation you can, have some fun, and then leave when it gets to be too much."

 

[ceecee]

I've mastered the art of faux socializing, so much so I actually started liking it. Whoda thought? I still get overwhelmed in situations where it is too much though. I either; politely excuse myself or say goodbye to my host or ENFJ man takes over and manuvers me out of the situation. I also go watch sports, which isn't just an out for me. I love sports. I will also keep to the kitchen, usually out of need if the gathering is at my house. Which is also why I have a tv in the kitchen. With a cable box. How am I suppose to function without Verses on my kitchen tv?

I'll have the food out to you as soon as the first period is over, people!

 

[Lethe]

Only when I'm preoccupied with my thoughts or work.

However, I normally don't have to "run away" from socializing because I blend very well into the background, and the bulk of my interactions occur when I make the effort to initiate them. If I find myself in the situation as described in the OP, I try to make it clear that it's not the best time to converse, and I may arrange another time to meet depending on their reactions.

 

[skyler]

I can relate. I don't like going to these things and will avoid them, but it really depends a lot on the people and situation. Even been known to slip away before.

If it's people I know pretty well, if they're smart, interesting and fun then it's a bit different. For example my grad school buddies are ok since they're content leaving me alone when I don't feel like talking and I can just jump in when something interests me. Plus, we went through some kind of hell together so there is a weird bond. Plus there are always at least a few people there I know I can relate to if I get bored with some of the others.

I still can only take so much of the big group, but the specific people, the intellectual content and a sense that the people are willing to let other people be just what they are makes a huge difference over the typical shallow socializing with some groups of people.