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  1. #61
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    I want to know what everyone thinks.

    Especially those who have hard things to say.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Do you want to know what I think?

  3. #63
    Mud and rain and chaos... TickTock's Avatar
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    I don't know you all that well. I get the impression you are egotistical and like to make everything about you. Maybe this comes from insecurity. It's good to give every now and then and allow others to hold the torch without feeling like they are taking from you. I appreciate your need to hear some honesty.
    ~ Truth ~ Freedom ~ Health ~ Love ~ Communication ~ Humor ~ Respect ~

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by TickTock View Post
    I don't know you all that well. I get the impression you are egotistical and like to make everything about you. Maybe this comes from insecurity. It's good to give every now and then and allow others to hold the torch without feeling like they are taking from you. I appreciate your need to hear some honesty.
    Thank you for being honest. Everything you said is true.

  5. #65
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Yes, alright, I'll specify one of those faults - you are pretty susceptible to flattery, although I don't know if that even is a fault to my mind... I guess it could be, since it probably springs from overactive vanity circuits

    But like I said, you're probably aware of that and trying to work on it. I don't think it's a sin to have faults - everyone has them. The sin to my mind comes from refusing to acknowledge them or even try to rectify them. As long as you're trying, you're on whatever moral high ground any human's capable of hanging from by the nails
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  6. #66
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    Actually, you're probably one of my favorite ENTJs on this site.

    On the other hand, UGH for the avatar.

  7. #67
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    What can I say, I'm a fan of World Light Heavyweight Champions!!!!

  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    What can I say, I'm a fan of World Light Heavyweight Champions!!!!

  9. #69
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Your avitar choice has improved yet its still not ideal think an avitar like this would work better for you

    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  10. #70
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    This thread serves two purposes for you:

    - the obvious, and noble intent to find out how you are perceived, and what your shortcomings are as viewed by others.

    - secondly, more insidious, as an affirmation. I dunno if recently a few hard truths have hit a little too close to home, and you need to know if how badly you're interpreting yourself is as bad as it really is..or not. Along this vein, you value social desirability [even in this virtual community].......and you want to affirm that you haven't slipped that many steps off that. In most people's eyes. You want that pat on the back.

    You're feeling a bit ashamed and/or embarrassed by a few outbursts, emotional vulnerability that you showcased, and, this is a way to dust yourself off. To get through the shit-storm. There is nothing inherently wrong or right about this.

    I think you've had it pretty easy in how your identity has been shaped thus far in your life. I have a feeling for the most part in your life, you've been a 'good boy'. Hence, you are seemingly "strong"/blunt in your assertions....that tinge of arrogance. In great parts, this is smoke-and-mirrors.

    I hope you are lucky enough in life to meet people who will know how to chip away at that, and call you out to explain why you believe what you do, so that the merit of that arrogance is tested. It builds character.

    I think the base/core of a lot of your views are not explored in depths as to the whys. Rather, they are to answer: who, what, when, where, and how. You may be scared of figuring out the whys. Or, if you do acknowledge the whys, and, they leave a bad taste in your mouth, then you're just as quick to rationalize it away...a lot of 'but...'

    You want to challenge more than be challenged.

    You want to be seen as a pillar of strength, not only physically but in character and morality, and I think you're so enamoured with this perception of yours, that anything that might challenge that raises defensiveness in you.
    This action undermines the very thing you hope to convey about yourself.

    This defensiveness curbs you from being honest. I had to amp up my assholishness and aggressiveness and that's when I started to see the honest answers. It's probably because it conflicts with your need for social desirability. I don't think you caught on, but, I told you a few times, initially, 'you shouldn't HAVE to answer [to me]. I.e., call it, if it's making you that uncomfortable, just say you don't want to answer' (if you said that, I couldn't have pushed you any further, as that was an honest answer, and it would have closed the case)....but your 'wanting to challenge' coupled with social desirability (don't want others reading to see you've 'given up') made you keep going. Until you were cornered into being honest. Know what it is you want to convey rather than trying to answer so what you really don't want to convey is not shown. Inevitably, you'll come across people who'll sniff out this latter contradiction.

    What do you want known. Take that. Understand that. Own that. Say that.

    What you don't want known. Figure out why you don't want them known. And the root causes of that and how you've internalized it.

    You're still young, don't be so stuck on 'the ways you are expected to be', but concentrate more on what YOU could be. Take away all other big influences from your life. See you as your bare bones.

    /psycho-babble

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