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Thread: Stalky ENFP

  1. #1
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Default Stalky ENFP

    I posted this in the other thread, but I thought I'd make a separate thread to ask for feedback from y'all on it, so as not to derail the other thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarcasticus View Post
    *but sometimes it can get a little stalky.
    One ENFP I knew who was incredibly needy, and who ditched me very unequivocally as a friend ("fuck off, I never want anything to do with you again!" were her words) several months ago, because I found myself unable to share all my inmost thoughts with her after having known her for a whole six weeks, used to use Facebook to gain leverage/presence in my life. After she ditched me (at which I was, frankly, relieved), she blocked me from her Facebook, and not long afterwards I deleted my account for totally separate reasons (family plots and feuds, just had enough of them).

    Just last night I created a brand new account, using my middle name and putting all my profile in French. I began to add some of my friends from the previous account. I had one friend in common with her, and by this morning I got an FB message from her saying "I just wondered if you knew this person, it seems a bit of a coincidence that you have the same surname and write in French, and he knew French, and you have all the same friends as me".

    Now, why would she do that? Doesn't that seem crazy/neurotic/stalky? Why would she care to check up when she'd declared herself that she wanted no more dealings with me? Why would she say "all the same friends" when there's only one in common? What was she planning to do if I had replied "yes, it's me, I'm the same person"???

    What do you think I should do? Block her? Reply? If so, what would you say? Or just completely ignore it?
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
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    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    completely ignore it

    part of her prolly feels bad for whatever happened.

    but i'd cast doubt on whether it was sincerely feeling bad or just a brief moment. so just ignore, and don't be afraid to post on friend's walls as yourself. if its sincere, she will find other ways to get in contact with you.

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    She might think you're stalking her, since you went out of your way to put your profile in French and everything. I'm not certain of the conditions of your "friendship" but if she contacted you after months, I wouldn't call it "stalky" maybe just a little neurotic. Maybe she feels guilty for ditching you. Who knows. You didn't provide a lot of details.

    I think the mature thing to do is to reply. Then, if she continues to bother you, block her. I think that's fairly straight-forward.

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    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    no don't reply. (btw, most definitely she thinks part of the reason u deleted ur account is bc of her, and if it is, don't let her know. EVER)

    if she cares about your guy's friendship, it will drive her nuts and she will try to contact you in another way.

    If she doesn't, she will stop. So no loss to you in either situation.

    And by all means, live your facebook life as if you never got that message.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    no don't reply.

    if she cares about your guy's friendship, it will drive her nuts and she will try to contact you in another way.

    If she doesn't, she will stop. So no loss to you
    yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking - it will drive her nuts, and then she will try to contact him some other way

    maybe he doesn't want that! so if he doesn't want her "stalking" him, he needs to face this head on

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    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    well, if she continues "stalking him", at least he knows at that point it is possibly geniune (i give it at least 1-3 months of ignoring) and then at that point, his feelings might change too.

    but either way, DONT REPLY! I'd actually think its way too early to ask a forum about this situation, so he obviously does have strong feelings for her. So all in all, best bet is to not reply for now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Modern Nomad View Post
    well, if she continues "stalking him", at least he knows at that point it is possibly geniune (i give it at least 1-3 months of ignoring) and then at that point, his feelings might change too.


    Why would he want her to stalk him if he doesn't like her?

    If he does like her, why wouldn't he just talk to her?

    The scenario you're playing out is immature and silly.

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    haha yeah that too

    but girl stalkers can't do as much and have more pride than guy stalkers. (oh no, not this again lol)

    but yeah, its too early to call her psycho though. Just ignore IMO.

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    No, no...I was calling your idea psycho.

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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    No, no...I was calling your idea psycho.
    Maybe it is. But i still say don't reply.

    I can guarantee tho that the OP has strong feelings about this girl. And he's feeling weak to her message at this point.

    So for practicality's sake, Ignore and find out if its genuine. Flighty ENFP's need that kind of treatment sometimes.

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