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Thread: Stalky ENFP

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Yeah, I don't like that judgemental tone, you know?

    You're confusing human compassion and manners for immaturity... that's quite telling
    There is nothing compassionate or well-mannered about ignoring another person. It is passive-aggressive behavior on your part.

    I'm not suggesting you actually say "fuck off," I'm just implying that you should levelly inform her that you sincerely do not want her in your life, thank you very much.

    Women need CLOSURE. Don't you know anything?

  2. #22
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    There is nothing compassionate or well-mannered about ignoring another person. It is passive-aggressive behavior on your part.

    I'm not suggesting you actually say "fuck off," I'm just implying that you should levelly inform her that you sincerely do not want her in your life, thank you very much.

    Women need CLOSURE. Don't you know anything?
    Telling her "point blank" does not work. I've tried it before. She's got to have the last word, she's got to be the one doing the dismissing. Then she likes to come back when she feels like it and expect you'll take her back like nothing happened because she's got the moral high ground because she approached with her "olive branch".

    She only wants closure when SHE'S the one doing the closing. Anything you say, she considers an opening.

    Passive aggression is in intention, not in action. The same action in different contexts and with different intentions can mean different things. Will you quit judging me, ffs?

    That's why I was thinking of BLOCKING as opposed to ignoring - because it does send her a clear message, without giving her WORDS that she can then use to get her foot back in the door.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Telling her "point blank" does not work. I've tried it before. She's got to have the last word, she's got to be the one doing the dismissing. Then she likes to come back when she feels like it and expect you'll take her back like nothing happened because she's got the moral high ground because she approached with her "olive branch".

    She only wants closure when SHE'S the one doing the closing. Anything you say, she considers an opening.

    Passive aggression is in intention, not in action. The same action in different contexts and with different intentions can mean different things. Will you quit judging me, ffs?

    That's why I was thinking of BLOCKING as opposed to ignoring - because it does send her a clear message, without giving her WORDS that she can then use to get her foot back in the door.
    You asked for advice and different perspectives. So don't get snippy when I try to show you what your behavior might look like from a different point of view. I just think ignoring other people who played a significant role in your life is cowardly and childish, unless it's a public situation where confrontation would be embarrassing or dangerous.

    Block her then. Good for you. At least that isn't a passive-aggressive motion to "drive her crazy" as you did mention in one post.

  4. #24
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    after hearing more about the situation, yeah, if i were u, i'd probably just say "Yeah, its me. I agree though, we shouldn't talk anymore. Don't worry i didn't get rid of my profile because of you. It was for family reasons. Take care"

    And with that, its over. Don't even have to block or ignore. If she replies, (dont read what she writes back) just say sorry, and say u guys shouldn't talk anymore. and then ignore/block her.

  5. #25
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    But yeah, if she is the type to always have the last word, by all means, as a MAN, its your right to have the last word AT LEAST ONCE.

    I think blocking is good too, if she is the type to always have to do the dismissing. Save your own feelings for once goodness gracious.

  6. #26
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    You asked for advice and different perspectives. So don't get snippy when I try to show you what your behavior might look like from a different point of view. I just think ignoring other people who played a significant role in your life is cowardly and childish, unless it's a public situation where confrontation would be embarrassing or dangerous.

    Block her then. Good for you. At least that isn't a passive-aggressive motion to "drive her crazy" as you did mention in one post.
    I'll get snippy if I like, dammit! :steam:

    When you say "significant role", does that include ten weeks of making my life absolute hell on earth? Which I only tolerated through patience born from prayer and a genuine desire to befriend and support somebody I saw as being vulnerable and isolated, unwittingly biting off more than I could chew without professional training and support!

    It is potentially dangerous. Her children were friends with my children, and those friendships were at the mercy for ten weeks (which is a long time to a child), of this woman's mood swings. When she was happy with me, the kids could play. When she wasn't, she hated me and her kids weren't allowed to play with my kids. When my Christian patience ran out, I tried to soldier on for the sake of the kids' friendships, until she told me to FOAD as I described above. I had to explain to my kids that their friendships were over - though they'd done nothing wrong and their friends still liked them and wanted to play with them.

    She did this three times - cutting off all ties for me (don't care about that) and the kids (problem). Then coming back with her holier than thou "olive branch" - hooray kids, you can play again! Oh no wait, she hates me again - no you can't. And again, and again. No, she really means it this time, I checked thoroughly. And I'm not willing to run the gauntlet again, or let you run it, kiddos.

    LOLZ by the way at the rep comments I'm getting - be good if some of them went public!!!
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  7. #27
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    LOLZ by the way at the rep comments I'm getting - be good if some of them went public!!

    Cool. Post them here. I'm sure they're entertaining.:rolli:

    Now that you've finally explained the details it makes a lot more sense. If you'd just told us what a stark raving evil bitch she was and how it had affected your children in the beginning, then it would have changed my entire perspective of the situation.

    I am not psychic. I was not able to discern the true ugliness of this situation from your OP.

    So block her already.

  8. #28
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    I would have thought that from this post onwards,

    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    If she "feels bad", then she knows my email address, my home address and cellphone and home phone numbers have not changed and she has them all. Why wait 'til someone who's "possibly me" turns up on Facebook and send such a message as that? Why not simply email or text me directly?
    It was getting rather obvious that we weren't dealing with a reasonable person here! Did that behaviour not strike anyone else as odd??!

    No I won't publish the rep comments, I don't do that. They were intended to be private, so I'll keep them that way. Gentleman's prerogative Not getting paranoid are you?
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    I would have thought that from this post onwards,



    It was getting rather obvious that we weren't dealing with a reasonable person here! Did that behaviour not strike anyone else as odd??!

    No I won't publish the rep comments, I don't do that. They were intended to be private, so I'll keep them that way. Gentleman's prerogative Not getting paranoid are you?
    Um, no, paranoid about what? I wanted to laugh.

    Well, you see, I've noticed that there's this aspect of human nature when people have romantic relationships that they have a tendency (male or female) to exaggerate the horribleness of the other person, but they do it very vague terms in order to garner sympathy. It's nothing personal toward you - EVERYBODY does it to some extent. It's the "he said she said" psychodrama.

    I've seen some extraordinarily fucked up things in my life and known of people to do some really "odd" things. I know a woman who woke up with her husband sharpening a knife next to her head, for example. Nothing that you posted until your next to last reply was all that shocking to me. Now that you've given details, I see now why you're so upset.

    Do you need a hug?

  10. #30
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Um... when did anyone mention a romantic relationship???

    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    One ENFP I knew who was incredibly needy, and who ditched me very unequivocally as a friend
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

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