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  1. #1
    Senior Member sofmarhof's Avatar
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    Default INTP through the years

    Those of you who are 30+, describe how you have changed or matured over the years.

    What were you like as a teen? What were you like in your 20s? 30s? etc.

    I'm 19, so too young to contribute, but I would really like to read what you have to say.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    I don't know how much bearing my advice can give you...but coming from a 28 year old INTP shifting to E.

    1. I used to be forced ISTJ when I was in my teen. It sucks. Ne is always interfering with my desire to focus. True STJ peeps beat me in school performance. Don't play the SJ complaince game. You'll lose in the long run. Learn to use your eccentric traits to your advantage.

    2. Embrace your INTPness, but never assert your Ti socially, or at work (unless needed). It can bring you into trouble. Remember, what seems to be so logical to you may not be easily understood by other archetypes, nor they would want to listen to your statement, especially if you're not so politically correct in your delivery.

    3. Develop your extroversion. INTPs who are imploding in their introversion usually cling to only one aspect of their character, which is their intellect. Developing E add facets to your primary traits, also develops better interpersonal relationships. You'll have more things going for you.

    4. Don't expect a lot of people to understand you. Most people won't. You have to understand yourself (develop some Fi). MBTI is a great tool for that. But don't be too hardcore about it.

  3. #3
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    I know a bunch of INTPs and they were all extremely socially awkward, often escaping into fantasy worlds, role play or drugs. They all slowly woke up around the age of 30 and made a conscious decision to stay the way they were or crawl out of their own heads. Some stayed, but at least it was a conscious decision.

    This only applies to the boys, though. The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side. In their late 30s, however, I've noticed the females mellow out and become quite diplomatic, kind and truly logical (as opposed to fake logic which rejects information it doesn't respect - like people's feelings, perhaps - no matter how valid). So they grow into more truly logical and objective human beings.

    But again, this is just from my personal sample of friends and family.

  4. #4
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    This only applies to the boys, though. The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side.
    I hope this isn't in my future. If I'm 24 and not that way (still a bit meek) then does that mean I've already passed the bitch turn?
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  5. #5
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Early teens I was nervous and not exactly comfy around people. I always asked why but lacked sufficient skill to do anything more than recreate the wheel or come up with something so complex as to make it unfeasible. Except with gokart ideas... except if you ask my father...

    Late teens but pre university I'd found more of what would become my stride. Innovation seemed easier but the world seemed stranger. I found I could pull apart even complex subjects and find the mechanics of it often identifying problems that others had overlooked but equally as often grinding my brain against problems that didn't really matter. Also I found myself becoming more and more a force within my group of friends.

    I think within the first year of university I found myself buried with people, new people, very, very different people. I found that I still rejected company but after finding my place and a circle of friends I had less problems. It seems to be a constant plague that if I'm amongst people who are likely to accept me then I'm fine but amongst people who are less than likely to get me I recede and usually get all spikey. Anyhow, whilst at uni many things happened some good some bad but it helped me to settle down. I found things that I will never do again and things I decided to keep as part of me.

    Twenties, got a job working for a bunch of ESTJ engineers and whilst I could quite happily gun most of them down with a chirpy smile and a tune on my lips they have knocked some of that "precious" treatment which I afforded myself as an introvert. I'm now not so bothered by work, people, negativity. In fact if someone is annoyed then I'm usually the one laughing at their frustration... apparently that's not helpful either.

    Privately I found myself the centre of my group of friends. The decision maker and the peace keeper. Not something I actively signed up for. I ended up enabling a few of them and one friend put it as I had a lot of friends who are completely fine with taking advantage of my generous nature.

    Thirties, just about settling now. I find I'm more confident in what I can and cannot do and I'm fine with my failings. I'm also happier with the word "no". This has led to me being taken advantage of less but also (and especially recently) it has reduce my patience with people. I'll no longer flex until I can kiss my own behind... I'll just tell them to do it and walk off.

    Don't get me wrong throughout all of this I'm a positive feedback type 9 so I don't like constant war but the older I get the more familiar I am with using my shadow type to draw a line and execute any ********* who crosses it. I think I wouldn't be over stating to say that I'm now fair but firm where as before I was just fair. I think that's confidence related though.

    Oh and the thing I read that Hustler wrote many moons ago "don't play by their rules". It took ages for me to find a place for that sentiment as I didn't agree with his meaning but I knew it fitted somewhere. What I found was that the more I am myself with no apologies the easier I find things and the more easily I can grow. That's not to say "screw you I'm an NT", that's just arrogant ignorance, but I do find myself doing things more my way now and I'm a lot more comfortable that way.
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  6. #6
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I've defied nature and made the 'INTP descision' when I was 21.

    In terms of maturing. I don't think INTP's mature ever in the same sense most other types would. I think we just come to terms with our and others wisdom in due time. Stabilizing our existance through knowledge and understanding, with a little bit of experience on the side.

    Most other types seem to come to terms with their emotions as they mature. We come to terms with our thoughts. Our emotions remain somewhat 'childish' throughout our lives.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  7. #7
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenocyde
    The girls can often grow to be quite cantankerous and/or bitter and confrontational if they started on the meeker side.
    Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.
    Um, yeah.

  8. #8
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.
    Knowing is the first step towards avoiding.

    People usually screw up with recognizing their own behaviour though, so the battle isn't won yet.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  9. #9
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenocyde View Post
    I know a bunch of INTPs and they were all extremely socially awkward, often escaping into fantasy worlds, role play or drugs. They all slowly woke up around the age of 30 and made a conscious decision to stay the way they were or crawl out of their own heads.
    I can corroborate the drugs thing. Same with other INTPs I know. And my INTP dad was a pothead, then around 30 stopped and became a professor.

  10. #10
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I hope this isn't in my future. If I'm 24 and not that way (still a bit meek) then does that mean I've already passed the bitch turn?
    Hahaha, I'm sure you'll be fine. Although I do remember a conversation we had that was unnecessarily caustic... but it's all water under the bridge. I think this level of awareness now will benefit you (and everyone else) in the future. I wish I had this knowledge and level of insight when I was in my 20s.

    Quote Originally Posted by Grungemouse View Post
    Oh, wonderful. I'm 18 and especially meek. I look forward to my twenties "crazy cat lady" phase.
    Oh damn, I forgot about the cats. What is with you guys and cats? Male and female, alike!

    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    I can corroborate the drugs thing. Same with other INTPs I know. And my INTP dad was a pothead, then around 30 stopped and became a professor.
    Yeah, I had a brilliant INTP cousin turn into a raging, *raging* coke-and-other-crap-head. He braved the NYC streets clean and sober until he was about 25 or so. Kind of late in the game to get into the party mentality, you know? He got clean around 32.

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