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Thread: Ask an ENTP!

  1. #611
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I think the ENTP interrogator quality is rather awesome actually. The questions are rarely run of the mill and often thought provoking and they produce interesting discussions. I've yet to find such questions intrusive because its very apparent that they're driven by genuine, intense curiosity and you guys tend to ask in such a non-judgmental manner - and these are things I really appreciate.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  2. #612
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    A classic example of the Fe-Te gap.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    ENTP: So what do nurses do exactly? Trying to make conversation

    INTJ: You're kidding right. They heal people. Thinks he should know this already, and probably explained what exactly she would be up to, or expects that he would research it already. Doesn't have a clue that he's just making conversation.

    ENTP: How do they heal people? Trying to restate the question to get the other person to understand what's being asked

    INTJ: Magic powers. Now thinks he's just being stupid to piss her off

    ENTP: What kind of nurse are you going to be? Still trying to make conversation, growing more annoyed

    INTJ: Practioner Still doesn't get what's going on here

    ENTP: What's that? Not getting that she's not going to talk

    INTJ: OK I'm done here, we have an audience.... Through with the nonsense

    ENTP: Well, What kind of nurse is an RN? One last stab at it...

    INTJ: *sigh* RN is Registered Nurse. Doesn't realize that she just fucked up, bad

    ENTP: OK, and you aren't an RN.... hmmm.... What type puts on that little outfit and dances in your lap for $5? Now, he's going to start pissing her off. She's going to interact with him, even if she doesn't want to. She's his wife, after all. Even a fight's better than being ignored.
    Those two really need to learn how to communicate with each other better.

  3. #613
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    A classic example of the Fe-Te gap.



    Those two really need to learn how to communicate with each other better.
    haha, yeah it's fun to watch most of the time. They actually have a very good bond, but there are definitely gaps like you noted between them.

    I find that I get along with ENTPs very well since there is that whole Ne-NE thing - so I try to diffuse the situation by taking her side, and then going on a side trip with him into Ne-land. (Hos before Bros.)

    That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.

  4. #614
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    haha, yeah it's fun to watch most of the time. They actually have a very good bond, but there are definitely gaps like you noted between them.

    I find that I get along with ENTPs very well since there is that whole Ne-NE thing - so I try to diffuse the situation by taking her side, and then going on a side trip with him into Ne-land. (Hos before Bros.)
    Don't do that. It will eventually backfire on you. You can be on her side in private, but in public, it looks like favoritism. I promise you, he's noticed the trend, and probably resents it in some way. He's just too nice to inform you of this. That will likely change someday if you don't rack up some points in the "his side" column. When he does inform you, it will be ugly. Just trust me on this one.

    That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.
    It may have been funny, but it was specifically intended to belittle her and her choice of profession. That's how Fe works, after all - it's subtle like that. Look again at what he said, really closely: he said that because she's not an RN, she must be a stripper. From an Ne perspective, that looks rather innocent and humorous. Bring Fe into the equation, and you understand that it wasn't nice - he was specifically saying that to diminish what he saw as her arrogance.

    We're in the interpersonal world, so you'll identify with her because of your shared Fi. So if you want to understand what's going on, you have to imagine yourself as the target of the comment. Chances are, you're not going to like it so much after that.

  5. #615
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    It may have been funny, but it was specifically intended to belittle her and her choice of profession. That's how Fe works, after all - it's subtle like that. Look again at what he said, really closely: he said that because she's not an RN, she must be a stripper. From an Ne perspective, that looks rather innocent and humorous. Bring Fe into the equation, and you understand that it wasn't nice - he was specifically saying that to diminish what he saw as her arrogance.
    I agree with everything you said accept ^that^; it's a stretch to say that his intentions were to belittle her (his wife) and her choice of profession? An ENTP not supporting their spouse's professional dreams? I can imagine myself joking around because my spouse wasn't in the mood to talk, but not intending to belittle them. That's kiddie stuff! Maybe assuming she's arrogant and belittling her is a male ego thing?

    I would joke around to divert attention away from the frustrations I created from all of the badgering. One laugh and we're back on track. That, I would do !! That's the bright-side of Fe!

    There's more to the story than what we know.

  6. #616
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I agree with everything you said accept ^that^; it's a stretch to say that his intentions were to belittle her, don't you think? I can imagine myself in the same situation, saying something similar, but not intending to belittle. Maybe it's a male ego thing?
    He went straight to "stripper" - i.e. he was trying to devalue her status through the comment. Even if it didn't seem hostile, the implication was that "you're no better than a stripper." He thought she was acting arrogant and superior, and this was a way of poking at that, and being able to defray criticism through claiming it was a joke.

    If he wanted to make a harmless sexual joke, he could have said "do they still give you the nurse's hat and outfit? That would be hot in the bedroom." In that case, the hidden, implied message is "I think it's sexy that you're becoming a nurse." Compare that to "oh, you're not an RN, so you're just like a stripper."

    Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

    I would do it to divert attention away from the frustrations I created. One laugh and we're back on track. That's the bright-side of Fe!
    Nothing wrong with humor to defuse tension. However, it's one of those where you're laughing at the person instead of with the person.

    It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.

  7. #617
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    He went straight to "stripper" - i.e. he was trying to devalue her status through the comment. Even if it didn't seem hostile, the implication was that "you're no better than a stripper." He thought she was acting arrogant and superior, and this was a way of poking at that, and being able to defray criticism through claiming it was a joke.

    If he wanted to make a harmless sexual joke, he could have said "do they still give you the nurse's hat and outfit? That would be hot in the bedroom." In that case, the hidden, implied message is "I think it's sexy that you're becoming a nurse." Compare that to "oh, you're not an RN, so you're just like a stripper."

    Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

    Nothing wrong with humor to defuse tension. However, it's one of those where you're laughing at the person instead of with the person.

    It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.
    Dang, I tweaked my post!

    I hear you. How do you 'know' he thought she was acting arrogant and superior? This is his sweet wittle wifey. Please read my tweaked post (above) too. What he said, which I don't see as bad, wouldn't offend me. I would have to hear the tone.

  8. #618
    Tier 1 Member LunaLuminosity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Yes, male ENTPs do this kind of crap all the time. Usually, they don't even notice what they're doing, because they're so used to belittling others through humor. Thus, "the prick."

    It's likely that the joke arose because he felt hurt by his wife not wanting to engage with him, and instead of saying something about it (in the presence of company), he'd rather take a subtle jab at her through humor to make himself feel better.
    Yes, the belittling could be the intention here, but it is kind of a stretch to say that from that one comment. It seems just as likely that the ENTP here is desperate to get a real response from the INTJ, and so is provoking a reaction through an irreverent, unexpected question.

    Also, a clarification here, Saturned states that this dialogue happened sometime before these two got married, so that might make a difference here.

    Only playful questioning/provoking, or belittling RNs? It's not very clear one way or the other....

  9. #619
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    That last part about the lap dance nurse was actually his attempt at making a joke to make her laugh, but not realizing she was getting really annoyed with him. I found it hilarious.
    Saturned, Onemoretime made a great argument, but I believe there's more to it than all of us know. I say that so you understand that we're just throwing out ideas. So though what Onemoretime is saying may be very true, please don't go back to your girlfriend and pollute her mind with this stuff that might cause conflict between her & her husband. We are all different. It's true that some ENTP's are more childish than others. I like that you're giving her husband the benefit of the doubt in this situation (and communicating positive things to her, assuming you are) because we don't know his intentions. Despite momentary childishness that leads one to wonder "what the heck", I think it's safe to say that his greater goals include getting along with his wife and seeing her happy.

  10. #620
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    Quote Originally Posted by LunaLuminosity View Post
    Also, a clarification here, Saturned states that this dialogue happened sometime before these two got married, so that might make a difference here.
    Dating is usually as good as it gets; as far as, how well people get along. From what I understand, it's when most people try to put their best foot forward. This supports my theory that he was trying to make her laugh after he badgered her (and it was not a crude jab). I know there are other considerations, like how long were they dating at that point? Did they get along? etc.

    Also, I want to say again, that I think the "puts on the little outfit and dances in your lap" question was an awesome recovery!! I did not interpret it as demeaning.

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