[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

[funkadelik]

What type gave you the most satisfying relationship?

Romantic relationship? Well, out of the TWO real relationships that I've had, the INFJ was more satisfying than the INTJ. They were pretty similar in a lot of ways (talk about having a "type"), but the INFJ and I were just more in tune with one another. Our relationship also lasted longer.

Friend relationship? Out of the ones that I've had recently, I've got an INFP friend who just satisfies all aspects of friendship perfectly (fun, depth, adventure, humour). I'm pretty shocked at how quickly we formed a friendship...he and I just gel really well. In the past, my most satifying friendships have been with an INTP (male), ENFJ (male) and ISFP (female).

 

[Antimony]

Romantic relationship? Well, out of the TWO real relationships that I've had, the INFJ was more satisfying than the INTJ. They were pretty similar in a lot of ways (talk about having a "type"), but the INFJ and I were just more in tune with one another. Our relationship also lasted longer.

Was the INFJ more in tune with you because of the personality or just that was how you guys fit? I've never found an INFJ to date.

Are you talking strictly romantic?

Nay.

 

[Kasper]

Then with the specific term "satisfying" in mind: ESTPs, ESFPs and INFJs.

 

[uncommonentity]

Top ten reasons to befriend an ENTP?

 

[funkadelik]

Was the INFJ more in tune with you because of the personality or just that was how you guys fit? I've never found an INFJ to date.

Hmmm...I'm not sure if it was personality or not. I felt like we anticipated each others grievances and corrected them before it became a big problem (is that an Fe thing? I dunno). I also felt like we had the most fun in our relationship (very similar senses of humour). Could be an MBTI thing. It was easy for me to find the chewy kernel of fun and frolic in the INFJ, not as easy in the INTJ. He was Mr. SRS BZNS a lot of the time (not that all INTJs are that way, of course).

INFJ guys really are crazy rare. I've yet to find another certified one in the flesh.

 

[Antimony]

Then with the specific term "satisfying" in mind: ESTPs, ESFPs and INFJs.

In what way?

Hmmm...I'm not sure if it was personality or not. I felt like we anticipated each others grievances and corrected them before it became a big problem (is that an Fe thing? I dunno). I also felt like we had the most fun in our relationship (very similar senses of humour). Could be an MBTI thing. It was easy for me to find the chewy kernel of fun and frolic in the INFJ, not as easy in the INTJ. He was Mr. SRS BZNS a lot of the time (not that all INTJs are that way, of course).

INFJ guys really are crazy rare. I've yet to find another certified one in the flesh.

Maybe it is Fe. I feel like the INTJ Fi clashes with my use of Fe. INFJs can have a similar sense of humor?! I guess I find that surprising because my humor consists of A) Sarcasm B) Mischievous jokes/deeds C) Random, miscellaneous references.

I need to go find some INFJs

 

[Kasper]

In what way?

I'm drawn to SPs because of their often light-hearted, fun-loving ways. I live for fun, I detest emotional drama (personal emotional drama is fine, seeking to understand one's self is great, it's when the drama involves multiple people that I turn off), and I enjoy their action-seeking preference.

Many of my closest friends over the years have been ESTP specifically, but all SPs are represented.

I found the SP friendships that meant the most to me were satisfying because they never asked/needed/wanted me to change but at the same time challenged me to be more action-orientated. It doesn't take too much encouragement but I will withdraw without some.

The more satisfying SP relationships were ones where I never asked them to bare their souls, and they never asked me to either, and yet we understood each other enough to challenge aspects that needed to be pushed and avoid areas that were touchy.

If I came up with a crazy plan they jumped right in to help with the plot, they never looked at me like I was odd. They encouraged the crazy.

They were fun. They were drama free. They were super enthusiastic. They liked people. They were optimistic. They were positive. The relationships were symbiotic.

That for me is satisfying.


With INFJs there is still the element of encouragement (although they can look at me like I'm odd ), but the most satisfying aspect of my relationships there is the depth that we are able to get out of each other.

When they are receptive I know how to open them up, and they are the only type I've found that is able to turn that back on me and get me to reveal things I normally keep well hidden. They refuse to allow me not to.

We get each other, but both sides of the relationship are looking for continual improvement and growth, we never stop challenging each other to become better people.

I find it impossible not to admire many innate INFJ traits when I see them in action.

 

[Tamske]

Top ten reasons to befriend an ENTP?

They aren't too awkward if you show emotion around them.
They are (or at least try to be) honest, if they aren't joking.
You can usually tell when they are joking, and if not, they don't mind if you ask.
They are able to discuss and disagree strongly with you and still be friends. (So you're a devout Catholic and I'm a strong atheist? Let's debate for a few hours and enjoy a game of Settlers of Catan afterwards!)
They have and like very heterogenous groups of friends.
It's easy to make them enthousiastic about something totally new. (Now I've got to convince my future employers of that. Yes, I've done Latin, theoretical physics, teacher's degree, and I'm interested in literature, but if you let me JUST TRY that laboratory work in chemistry of adhesives, I'll love it and in a short while I'll be even good at it!)
They are cool with criticism and will try to improve if they think it's valid.
You can convince them with arguments. Be careful, they'll try the same with you.
They'll help you if you ask. Not "if you need it", though, if you don't ask they'll never guess you'd want their help.
They can be great fun, even without alcohol. Just tickle their Ne. It doesn't need that much tickling, even.

 

[Saslou]

Hi,

Can you please tell me the best way to discipline a 14 year old xNTP who is stubborn, argumentative, thinks he knows everything, smart and articulate so will argue a point even if the thinking/logic is narrow minded because he's right ??? What worked for you?

I've tried being analytical, feely, talking about the big picture, tried the silent treatment, blackmailed him with money, grounded him and nothing so far has worked but i do get either a lovely smirk from him or verbal abuse with so many curse words he'd be an excellent sailor. The little

For me as a child i only needed my mother to not talk to me for a day and i felt like it was the end of the world.

Thanks in advance.
(This advice may come too late as i may just throttle him instead)

Edit - Forgot to add, he is about to throw away his schooling because he thinks the teachers have too much control so he's going to prove a point by not getting a proper education.. Smart point. Bloody Idiot.

 

[Antimony]

[MENTION=6202]saslou[/MENTION] wow, that sounds like me.

Let's see, if you want to be loving, I would find a way for you to make it so that it is in his overall best interests to listen to you. That is the first thing that comes to mind.

Or do you want a punishing route?

 

[A window to the soul]

Hi,

Howdy. :]

Can you please tell me the best way to discipline a 14 year old xNTP who is stubborn, argumentative, thinks he knows everything, smart and articulate so will argue a point even if the thinking/logic is narrow minded because he's right ??? What worked for you?

The belt.

I've tried being analytical, feely, talking about the big picture, tried the silent treatment, blackmailed him with money, grounded him and nothing so far has worked but i do get either a lovely smirk from him or verbal abuse with so many curse words he'd be an excellent sailor. The little

Sounds like your son doesn't respect you. If he's like me, he didn't take the rules seriously at first. After the belt was applied I was miraculously focused. Unfortunately, your son is at an age where it's probably not appropriate to spank him anymore.

(This advice may come too late as i may just throttle him instead)

A lecture on reality couldn't hurt, but if he doesn't respect you, he may tune you out. I would try a one-on-one direct approach, if you haven't tried that already. See my comments below as to what I mean by that.

Edit - Forgot to add, he is about to throw away his schooling because he thinks the teachers have too much control so he's going to prove a point by not getting a proper education.. Smart point. Bloody Idiot.

In high-school, my Dad communicated best with rational preaching; such as, how my 'F' on a Shakespeare exam was unacceptable; how I would end up a flunky competing with riff raff at McDonalds. That probably sounds harsh, but that speech challenged me to prove him wrong. That's the type of reality I needed to hear to get motivated because I was convinced Shakespeare was boring nonsense and a waste of my precious time. It seemed like I had to over-analyze every sentence of Shakespeare’s writing at least 10 times to make any sense of it; exhausting stuff. My Dad explained it logically about how there were going to be required subjects like that, which I may never use again, but I needed to take it seriously because it was required to achieve larger goals that would be rewarding and allow me the freedom to do whatever I wanted. He was right.

P.S., the silent treatment game doesn't work with me; I lose respect for people that play games. When it's serious business, the direct approach is the preferred approach. Leave out the emotional fillers. If he respects you, he should gladly work through issues until everyone's happy. If he continues to disrespect you, I honestly think he needs a strong father figure to lay down the law and get the respect back.

Hopefully an ENTP guy here can shed some light on alternate solutions.

 

[Domino]

Top ten reasons to befriend an ENTP?

To keep them where you can see them.

 

[redcheerio]

Can you please tell me the best way to discipline a 14 year old xNTP who is stubborn, argumentative, thinks he knows everything, smart and articulate so will argue a point even if the thinking/logic is narrow minded because he's right ??? What worked for you?

In high-school, my Dad communicated best with rational preaching about how my 'F' on a Shakespeare exam was unacceptable; how I would end up a flunky competing with riff raff at McDonalds. That probably sounds harsh, but that speech challenged me to prove him wrong. That's the type of reality I needed to hear to get motivated because I was conviced Shakespeare was boring nonsense and a waste of my precious time. I had to over-analyze every sentence of Shakespeare’s writing at least 10 times to make any sense of it; exhausting stuff. My Dad explained it logically about how there were going to be required subjects like that, which I may never use again, but I needed to take it seriously because it was required to achieve larger goals that would be rewarding and allow me the freedom to do whatever I wanted. He was right.

P.S., the silent treatment game doesn't work with me; I lose respect for people that play games. When it's serious business, the direct approach is the preferred approach. Leave out the emotional fillers. If he respects you, he should gladly work through issues until everyone's happy. If he continues to disrespect you, I honestly think he needs a strong father figure to lay down the law and get the respect back.

Hopefully an ENTP guy here can shed some light on alternate solutions.

I agree with this.

You need to appeal to his Ti logic. At that age, he won't respect anything else. (Actually, he probably won't respect anything other than logic for at least another 20 years or so. )

Even better if you can find a way to challenge him to prove someone wrong.

I was going to first suggest you find a way for him to prove you wrong, but it gets dangerous if you do anything manipulative, because he'll figure it out eventually and lose respect. It has to be on the up and up.

My condolences for having to deal with one of us at that age. My INTJ dad was always very patient and took the time to explain his reasoning exhaustively whenever we disagreed, and I really respect him for that. It made it almost impossible to rebel against him as a teenager. He NEVER said "because I said so", he always explained the logic behind his decisions as a parent. I recommend the same strategy for your ENTP kid.

 

[A window to the soul]

[MENTION=6202]saslou[/MENTION]: Failure is not an option.

You need to appeal to his Ti logic. At that age, he won't respect anything else. (Actually, he probably won't respect anything other than logic for at least another 20 years or so. )

I was going to first suggest you find a way for him to prove you wrong, but it gets dangerous if you do anything manipulative, because he'll figure it out eventually and lose respect. It has to be on the up and up.

Yes!

My condolences for having to deal with one of us at that age. My INTJ dad was always very patient and took the time to explain his reasoning exhaustively whenever we disagreed, and I really respect him for that. It made it almost impossible to rebel against him as a teenager. He NEVER said "because I said so", he always explained the logic behind his decisions as a parent. I recommend the same strategy for your ENTP kid.

Hey, that's my dad! It's like we have the same dad. What's going on here?...

 

[redcheerio]

Hey, that's my dad! It's like we have the same dad. What's going on here?...

You have an awesome dad, too? Yay for awesome dads!

Is he also INTJ?

 

[funkadelik]

Top ten reasons to befriend an ENTP?

For farming purposes.
For farming porpoises.
For alarming purposes.
For disarming Curtises.
For charming mistresses.
For forming awkwardnesses.
For warming brown-noses.
For enlarging...uh...you know-eses.
For discharging notices.
For amusing ankylosauruses.

 

[A window to the soul]

You have an awesome dad, too? Yay for awesome dads!

I do.

Is he also INTJ?

INTP.

 

[redcheerio]

I do.

INTP.

Wow, so you had even more in common with your dad than I did with mine! We were the only 2 NTs in the immediate fam. (I suspect his mom was also NT.)

(I got my Ne/ NP spaciness from my mom. She's INFP.)

 

[A window to the soul]

(I got my Ne/ NP spaciness from my mom. She's INFP.)

What is your INFP Mom like? I think my Mom is INFJ, but then there are times I think she's INFP or INTJ. I see a lot of what looks like Fi. Some Fi attitudes translate as selfishness to me. Like quietly walking out of the room disturbed when she doesn't like where a conversation is going. Selfishness is not a quality I see in my Dad. My Mom is very sweet and thoughtful too; there's just something there I can't quite put my finger on, but I wish I could. I want to understand what cognitive function the behavior is associated with.

Sometimes, she sees the simplest things that my Dad and I totally miss. I can't even describe it, it's so impressive when she does it and hilarious! Hilarious because she's so quiet and just when it looks like she's not listening, out of nowhere, she'll interrupt the discussion I'm having with my Dad and say something that can only be described as *brilliant*.

 

[Tamske]

[MENTION=6202]saslou[/MENTION]: no idea, I'm sorry. I rebelled against my classmates, not against my parents or teachers. I didn't like my classmates' approach to friendship (if you get good marks, you HAD TO BE socially awkward - which, of course, was a self-fulfilling statement. Except during exams ). My hubby (ESTJ) had a rough period during his teens, he doesn't talk about it that much, but I guess it looks quite like your ENTP. His dad (ENTP) yelled a lot. He said a teacher helped him to get over it, by treating him like an adult.
I reacted on my problems at school by inventing stories in which I was popular (and, of course, in which dragons existed. Why imagining you're a popular high school student if you can be a popular dragon rider in your imagination?)... and it was my mom (ENFJ) who listened and tried to make me better at social things. My dad (ISTJ) preferred to remain out of it... he showed me how to repair a bike, instead.