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Thread: Ask an ENTP!

  1. #391
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Ne is, by definition, a wild and random function. I can't "harness" it. I don't know if it is even possible.
    One of the fastest and surest ways to shut down my Ne is organizing a brainstorming session or anything else specificially designed to create ideas. I've never understood the purpose of those things, except if they were designed to make you lose time. You can brainstorm while working!

    I've learnt some tricks along the way. Ne needs triggering. External input. It's an extraverted function indeed. Here are some of my favourite triggers:
    - An unexpected question
    - Someone explaining or defending something that strikes me as false
    - Comments on my work, especially on my creative projects. "You can do this better" gets me grumpy at first, but very soon I'll start generating ideas about how to improve it and I'll be happy as pie and thank you.
    - Reading or hearing about a theory or fact I didn't know before. History is climbing along my 'interesting' ladder.
    - Manual work, riding the bike or taking the train,... anything which doesn't require that much attention but still takes the "you've got to generate ideas now" pressure from my mind.
    - Trying to sleep. That's not really a favourite of mine, because I want to sleep then and not generate ideas.
    I love how you put this. I never thought of it as "triggers" but more as inspirations. Mine are very similar to yours, and I've just recently realized I need them to get me going sometimes.
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

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  2. #392
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    This is a verrry long thread so I'm not sure if someone has asked this already but...

    My boyfriend is an ENTP, we live together. I've read about ENTPs being great at putting off chores/housework with their ability to make a joke and brush it off, say they'll do it later, and never ever get around to it. This is absolutely true when it comes to him. Now I'm not saying I'm Susie Homemaker over here, procrastination & laziness is my problem too. But I wouldn't feel so reluctant to clean if he did more than take the garbage out every now & then after I've already asked him a couple of times to do it.
    I gues I'm venting a little but my question is,
    Is there anything someone can do to motivate an ENTP to do some housework or do chores more often?

  3. #393
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by priestessofmars View Post
    This is a verrry long thread so I'm not sure if someone has asked this already but...

    My boyfriend is an ENTP, we live together. I've read about ENTPs being great at putting off chores/housework with their ability to make a joke and brush it off, say they'll do it later, and never ever get around to it. This is absolutely true when it comes to him. Now I'm not saying I'm Susie Homemaker over here, procrastination & laziness is my problem too. But I wouldn't feel so reluctant to clean if he did more than take the garbage out every now & then after I've already asked him a couple of times to do it.
    I gues I'm venting a little but my question is,
    Is there anything someone can do to motivate an ENTP to do some housework or do chores more often?
    Well I'm not an ENTP, but and ENFP. I struggle with that kind of stuff, and have yet to figure out a a surefire way to deal with it, BUT pressure makes it worse, and makes me more likely to never get to it. I do more when my husband or myself doesn't pressure. I'm not sure if it's the same for ENTPs.
    http://bohemianextrovert.wordpress.com/
    Please excuse the long drawn out ramble above.
    I have to hear what I've said before I know what I think.

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  4. #394
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angelhair45 View Post
    I love how you put this. I never thought of it as "triggers" but more as inspirations.
    Lol! T vs F language?

    Quote Originally Posted by priestessofmars View Post
    My boyfriend is an ENTP, we live together. I've read about ENTPs being great at putting off chores/housework with their ability to make a joke and brush it off, say they'll do it later, and never ever get around to it. This is absolutely true when it comes to him. Now I'm not saying I'm Susie Homemaker over here, procrastination & laziness is my problem too. But I wouldn't feel so reluctant to clean if he did more than take the garbage out every now & then after I've already asked him a couple of times to do it.
    I gues I'm venting a little but my question is,
    Is there anything someone can do to motivate an ENTP to do some housework or do chores more often?
    Putting off things that aren't challenges? Yes, indeed. It also sounds a bit like the typical wife's complaint that she has to nag the husband in order to get him to do the chores...

    One of the most surefire ways to get me doing chores is starting to do them yourself, or starting to work on something else. If my husband is "working" or at least doing something I find boring (like watching sports), I always feel guilty because I should have done them while he was at his job! And I try to out-chore him and make sure he didn't do most of the chores. Of course, this only works if he sees (some of) the chores as "his" task.

    I also try to see them as source of inspiration. See one of the triggers above. Mindless works gets the "need to be creative" pressure of my mind. I've discovered this not so long ago, and I'm still trying to reprogram myself into "starting chores" whenever I'm waiting for inspiration. Inspiration flood and chores get done! If that isn't an ENTP solution

    Nagging? Don't know. For me the blunt Thinker method works quite well. "I want you to do this before Monday."
    Give a deadline. I need a deadline. Not just "Aren't you going to do this?" because that doesn't give a scope of time. "Do this now!" will only result in protest - it isn't needed right now! and "Why do I have to ask such a many times before you do anything?" has the answer "Because you keep on asking. If you only asked once, I would have done it too, even if you didn't ask me seven times in the time between you asked first and now."
    An ENTP doesn't want to break his train of thought just to put the garbage out. I think the nagging problem is actually a misunderstanding problem.
    If the nagger asks "Do this" he/she means "Do this now" and thinks the other hasn't heard him/her. The other did hear, but doesn't want to think about it right now.

    An ENTP actually never wants to think or talk about chores. Doing them, no problem, but why not discuss and think about more interesting things? I'm an expert at discussing physics or philosophy or literature while doing dishes.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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  5. #395
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    Lol! T vs F language?


    Putting off things that aren't challenges? Yes, indeed. It also sounds a bit like the typical wife's complaint that she has to nag the husband in order to get him to do the chores...

    One of the most surefire ways to get me doing chores is starting to do them yourself, or starting to work on something else. If my husband is "working" or at least doing something I find boring (like watching sports), I always feel guilty because I should have done them while he was at his job! And I try to out-chore him and make sure he didn't do most of the chores. Of course, this only works if he sees (some of) the chores as "his" task.

    I also try to see them as source of inspiration. See one of the triggers above. Mindless works gets the "need to be creative" pressure of my mind. I've discovered this not so long ago, and I'm still trying to reprogram myself into "starting chores" whenever I'm waiting for inspiration. Inspiration flood and chores get done! If that isn't an ENTP solution

    Nagging? Don't know. For me the blunt Thinker method works quite well. "I want you to do this before Monday."
    Give a deadline. I need a deadline. Not just "Aren't you going to do this?" because that doesn't give a scope of time. "Do this now!" will only result in protest - it isn't needed right now! and "Why do I have to ask such a many times before you do anything?" has the answer "Because you keep on asking. If you only asked once, I would have done it too, even if you didn't ask me seven times in the time between you asked first and now."
    An ENTP doesn't want to break his train of thought just to put the garbage out. I think the nagging problem is actually a misunderstanding problem.
    If the nagger asks "Do this" he/she means "Do this now" and thinks the other hasn't heard him/her. The other did hear, but doesn't want to think about it right now.

    An ENTP actually never wants to think or talk about chores. Doing them, no problem, but why not discuss and think about more interesting things? I'm an expert at discussing physics or philosophy or literature while doing dishes.
    I think a deadline/schedule type of deal would be a great idea. As long as he was okay with it. Our biggest conflicts stem from him being so perceiving and me being so judging. But he's told me that as long as I dont automatically assume that he has agreed to my "plan" (as long as I ask if he wants to be included in the plan first) that its alright.
    Maybe also doing things together would work because then we could talk and it would be more fun. The nicest dinners we've had have been when we were both cooking together so doing the same thing but with cleaning would probably work out.

    thanks

  6. #396
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by priestessofmars View Post
    Is there anything someone can do to motivate an ENTP to do some housework or do chores more often?
    This was one thing that drove my INFJ sis crazy when we were living together. I'm slack with housework but even when I made an effort it always felt like it wasn't enough so I figured why try if she was going to get upset anyway. Nagging isn't an effective way to motivate me. Plus I could go for longer than her before I felt the need to clean.

    There are several approaches you can take:

    1. If it's financially an option hire a cleaner to come in once a week/fortnight, get your ENTP to pay, it's quite probable that he'd be more willing to pay for someone else to do it than do it himself.

    2. Give him a Fe guilt-trip. Let him know how his lack of action is affecting you and ask him to make more of an effort. That one can be hit or miss.

    3. Make it fun. When it comes time to doing housework do it when you're both home on the weekend, turn the music up way loud, plan to go out to lunch after or something and get him to get stuck into it at the same time as you. The idea is to make cleaning the distraction so he sticks at it, normally everything else is a distraction that is ten times more enticing than cleaning.

  7. #397
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    This was one thing that drove my INFJ sis crazy when we were living together. I'm slack with housework but even when I made an effort it always felt like it wasn't enough so I figured why try if she was going to get upset anyway. Nagging isn't an effective way to motivate me. Plus I could go for longer than her before I felt the need to clean.

    There are several approaches you can take:

    1. If it's financially an option hire a cleaner to come in once a week/fortnight, get your ENTP to pay, it's quite probable that he'd be more willing to pay for someone else to do it than do it himself.

    2. Give him a Fe guilt-trip. Let him know how his lack of action is affecting you and ask him to make more of an effort. That one can be hit or miss.

    3. Make it fun. When it comes time to doing housework do it when you're both home on the weekend, turn the music up way loud, plan to go out to lunch after or something and get him to get stuck into it at the same time as you. The idea is to make cleaning the distraction so he sticks at it, normally everything else is a distraction that is ten times more enticing than cleaning.
    Well we don't have money for that and its a small apartment anyway, and I'm not into giving guit trips it would most likely just backfire anyway.. So I'll try to just make things casual and fun. Hopefully he'll go along with it.

  8. #398
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    do it when you're both home on the weekend, turn the music up way loud, plan to go out to lunch after or something and get him to get stuck into it at the same time as you. The idea is to make cleaning the distraction so he sticks at it, normally everything else is a distraction that is ten times more enticing than cleaning.
    This.

    I abhor, nay, detest doing anything involved with little detail-oriented [often repetitive] daily living skills - like cooking, cleaning, etc.

    If you can turn it into a game, with some fun competitions thrown in the mix - trust me, you'll both wanna be cleaning up together. Team-effort!

    Sock skating on the wooden floor while brooming [he had foresight to tell me to wear old socks]. Grocery, a race to find X & Y item and make it to the cart before the other. Ah...INTJs.

    Motto: Find an angle to make it seem like a stimulating and fun activity versus a chore (). <- this psychology incidentally also works as well with a 3 years old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    I've learnt some tricks along the way. Ne needs triggering. External input. It's an extraverted function indeed. Here are some of my favourite triggers:
    - Reading or hearing about a theory or fact I didn't know before. History is climbing along my 'interesting' ladder.
    Well this explains alot.

  10. #400
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by priestessofmars View Post
    Our biggest conflicts stem from him being so perceiving and me being so judging.
    Same here, but I'm the perceiver. I've read along this forum that the S-N conflicts are the hardest, but I've never seen one, despite me being extremely N (more than P) and he being quite an S. I actually don't see why S vs N would lead to hard conflicts. A bit of misunderstanding, yes, some facepalming and "what are you talking about now? Does that have anything to do with your previous sentence?" and lots of laughing, that's what our S vs N is.
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
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