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[ENTP] Ask an ENTP!

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
I think you'll find it's spelled standard.

And no, we do not. At least not always. To quote the great psychiatrist Gag Halfrunt: "Vell, ENTP's just zese guys, you know?"
 

StrawMan

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2010
Messages
109
MBTI Type
ENTP
do you always need to be in the control of the situation? do you often end up having power struggles with people around you? is it a double standard?

My basic mode is that I don't need to be in control, if anyone else doesn't try to control me. If it seems that someone tries to influence me in the way I don't like, there might be some kind of power struggle for educational reasons to the other person. Some boundaries have to be set, mostly in humorous way.

Depends what you mean by being in control of the situation though? I would assume that a lot of ENTPs are quite talkative and active in social situations. Sometimes I also like to say shocking and a little bit outrageous things to stimulate the convo. I know, I'm a kid sometimes.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
do you always need to be in the control of the situation? do you often end up having power struggles with people around you? is it a double standard?

Well you dont end in power struggles when everyone is dead around you. Was that the question ? :D
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
How do you get to know an ENTP without getting manipulated, deceived, hurt (or pregnant) in the process?
I've been hanging out this summer with him from time to time, and there is a connection, but sometimes he just annoys the hell out of me with his puppet master attitude. Now I wouldn't even bother if he wasn't so clever and fascinating, but putting up with his crap just drives me away.
Does a particular strategy work for you? We usually meet at a bar so no one-on-one deep discussions and I have about an hour before he gets distracted and flies away.
Be upfront. We can't handle hints. If you want to get to know him better:
- be fascinating and clever yourself. Don't keep on listening and asking questions and being interested in him. Sure, ENTPs like attention, but if you just flatter them, they will think you are boring. We need a sparring partner in our debates. We want some input from you too. Remember our primary means of connecting to the world is through Ne, the abstract idea gatherer. We want your ideas so we can elaborate on them or argue them. If we criticize your ideas, we don't want to hurt you. On the contrary. We're interested.
- probably this doesn't work for every ENTP, but I'm "a Sensor when it comes to Feeling": I hate abstract discussions about emotions and ideals. I like simple emotions which I can understand and know the reason of. I'm a woman and things like "I feel like... I don't know, but... just leave it alone, it's okay" scare the hell out of me. I prefer "I'm angry with you because you promised to do this and you didn't do it."

Is an ENTP likely to be subtle or up front?
For example, the passive facebook status -- is that directed at someone in particular, or is it more likely that they really are just making a broad statement?
Not interested in facebook right now? As I don't get hints myself, I'm not likely to use them.

It feels like I'm asking for dating advice based on random facts but that's not really the point of the idea.
To sum it up, do you always need to be in the control of the situation? do you often end up having power struggles with people around you? is it a double standard?
In control - yes, a little bit. Mostly I need to understand everything and everyone. Difficult concepts are a challenge (if you want to keep the ENTP, provide plenty of those). Difficult feelings are a horror (because they are not logical.)
 

freeeekyyy

Cheeseburgers
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,384
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
ENTPs -

Do you generally learn better by reading about and researching things, or by interacting with them?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
ENTPs -

Do you generally learn better by reading about and researching things, or by interacting with them?

Depends on what "things" are. I have to conceptualise and see something in a bigger picture before I can fully comprehend it, seeing something in practice tends to show that easily but if there is a lot of depth to it then researching may be the better option. I am a compulsive researcher.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Indeed, depends. Also depends what sort of interaction.
Debating is one of my favourite means of building up abstract knowledge and opinions. Teaching and being taught trump reading and seeking things out for myself.
Hands-on experience only works when I also understand how it works... yes I'm an N. Cooking is interesting because it's chemistry. Cleaning is boring because you don't create anything. When I clean, the only thing to look at is dirt which means work. When I cook, I look at the olive oil losing viscosity when it's heated, I smell the promise of good food...
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
507
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
753
To sum it up, do you always need to be in the control of the situation? do you often end up having power struggles with people around you? is it a double standard?

I like to be in control, but if someone else is dead set on leading, I'm okay with it because a). I won't be held accountable for failure if someone else messes up, and b). I have less of a work load, which I'm okay with as I get more free time to do what I please with.

Relationship wise? I can't answer that question, really. I don't act in any way "ENTP"-like in a relationship. I'm actually nice, serious, dedicated, and not a complete ass, which usually scares my partner into leaving, which scares me into leaving potential long-term partners by leaving before they can leave me. In other words, when it comes to relationships, I'm scared by my own shadow.
 

bionic

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
61
When an ENTP says they don't want to be committed yet but they talk about having kids with you, a future with you, and where you both will travel together.... What does this mean?
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
They aren't committed yet but they still enjoy hypothesising about a future together.

Take their comment about not being committed seriously - I interpret "not wanting to be committed" as not being committed for the simple reason that making that comment means they would likely be holding back, or considering other possibilities.

Trusting emotions in the moment is something I'm wary of. For that reason I attempt to pick my words carefully and try to be as honest as I can in how I reflect my inner thoughts and feelings, in the moment however I may be overcome with positive, loving feelings towards the person I'm with, or get caught up in future possibilities. In the past that has lead to saying things I shouldn't have as they gave someone a concrete image of where I was at that was simply me going with the moment. It takes time for me to understand where these feelings came from, it can take a long time to understand if they are genuine or are they more selfish as in "I love how you feel about me" kinda way. Until I fully grasp that I will be somewhat uncommitted, loyal but uncommitted.

That said being able to see a future together is a good thing.
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Indeed. They are first envisioning the future before committing to one. ENTPs hate choosing something because it means closing other options. Even if they want to commit to you, it's a big step for them to say so, because then other possible futures are closed. Also, they don't want to commit if they aren't absolutely sure that's what they want and that's the choice they are able to stick to, especially if they love you. They don't want YOU to get stuck with a flaky ENTP, YOU deserve better than MY puny love. Only when the choice is needed, they will choose and do so very quickly.

I've been in love with someone (the ESTJ who's now my husband) for almost a year, trying to give hints and make him say he wants to be together with me and failing horribly at it. We were together at university. We just got our grades, he was walking towards his car and then it struck me - I had to choose between three months of him not knowing about my love and maybe meeting other girls or just going to him and saying I fancied him, with the risk of knowing for sure he didn't like me. I had a history of falling in love with impossible guys - a gay one, someone much older than me,... As he was my age, surely he was gay or had a better girlfriend or...!
The decision was made in a fraction of a second. I ran towards the car and told him.

If you want a definitive answer, you've got to take a risk. You've got to make it clear that if he doesn't choose for you, THAT option (a future with you) has at least a risk to get closed soon!
 

Tamske

Writing...
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Messages
1,764
MBTI Type
ENTP
Gah... after talking to him he just said "You are all I need".
Well then? Start making it happen. Talk about concrete things. Do you want to marry? Choose a date and a place. Do you want to live together? Start looking for an apartment or something and put a date on the moving. The date is very important. Ps (and I guess especially NPs who make non-decision into an art) need deadlines; otherwise they will flounder forever.
 

guesswho

Active member
Joined
Jul 9, 2010
Messages
1,977
MBTI Type
ENTP
ENTPs -

Do you generally learn better by reading about and researching things, or by interacting with them?

I read a little, interact/experiment..and then read/research some more.

But for me it's the experimenting that's the most important.
 

StrawMan

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2010
Messages
109
MBTI Type
ENTP
The date is very important. Ps (and I guess especially NPs who make non-decision into an art) need deadlines; otherwise they will flounder forever.

That is so true. My projects that have deadlines might be completed early even, but the ones that don't, well, they take some time.
 

Kenneth Almighty

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
184
MBTI Type
ENXP
For me, I need to make fucking mistakes. I'm great at learning backwards, then I imagine forwards, and the process repeats ad infinitum.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
Joined
Jun 5, 2009
Messages
1,363
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
3w4
Why can't I forget my ENTP ex-lover?
 
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