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Thread: Ask an ENTP!

  1. #1291
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpuppy View Post
    Hey ENTPs!

    (I have had a thing with an ENTP for about a year now. We have known each other about 3 years though. Recently, I've became more busy with school because of upcoming exams. I haven't paid much attention to him due to that. Furthermore, in the last weeks I've been confused about my feelings towards him.)
    A few days before we had a discussion about us and I told him I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday. I didn't say no, I just told him I'm not sure yet. Right after I said that his being changed. I could see it with my eyes. He became much more serious and less talkative. Later he told me he's just sad that he can't be with me. I told him that I haven't said that I just need to focus on my exams right now but I do care about him deeply and just because I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday doesn't mean I'll be like that forever. But... he still took my saying too seriously. I'm not kidding... the guy who used to be very friendly and lovely towards me, has turned to be as cold as he used to be in the beginning. Not cold.. but rather ignorant or detached, I feel he closed the door and is now avoiding me. He's attitude towards me has changed. A lot. He doesn't even say hey or goodbye to me..
    So my question is: did he doorslam me? It's odd because... he loved me. Perhaps I'm too confident to say that but I'm 100% sure about it. And now it's just.... odd.
    Take a deep breath, exhale slowly. I think you just experienced the classic ENTP stress response, and the major stressor might be school (not you).

    ENTP's have a tendency to take on too much, become overwhelmed, and take it out on the people that mean the most to them that can throw them a lifeline, but don't. What is the lifeline? Well, since the ENTP hidden agenda according to socionics is to be loved, I'm guessing if you can speak to an ENTP in their love language you're golden. Generally, that's going to entail giving the ENTP a little space, pay attention to his physical needs, have a listening ear if he wants to talk about his stressors, offer non-patronizing support, and words of affirmation.

    I wouldn't spend too much time over-analyzing or harboring an ENTP's hurtful words or actions that are a product of severe stress. Have confidence around your stressed-out ENTP, be positive, and he'll pull through quickly! (:

  2. #1292
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpuppy View Post
    Hey ENTPs!

    (I have had a thing with an ENTP for about a year now. We have known each other about 3 years though. Recently, I've became more busy with school because of upcoming exams. I haven't paid much attention to him due to that. Furthermore, in the last weeks I've been confused about my feelings towards him.)
    A few days before we had a discussion about us and I told him I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday. I didn't say no, I just told him I'm not sure yet. Right after I said that his being changed. I could see it with my eyes. He became much more serious and less talkative. Later he told me he's just sad that he can't be with me. I told him that I haven't said that I just need to focus on my exams right now but I do care about him deeply and just because I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday doesn't mean I'll be like that forever. But... he still took my saying too seriously. I'm not kidding... the guy who used to be very friendly and lovely towards me, has turned to be as cold as he used to be in the beginning. Not cold.. but rather ignorant or detached, I feel he closed the door and is now avoiding me. He's attitude towards me has changed. A lot. He doesn't even say hey or goodbye to me..
    So my question is: did he doorslam me? It's odd because... he loved me. Perhaps I'm too confident to say that but I'm 100% sure about it. And now it's just.... odd.

    You shut down his party. He's detaching for guarding himself of unbearable emotional distress. If you really care for him make sure you know what you want before you make future statements and avoid contradicting whimsical behavior.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpuppy View Post
    I actually think he door slammed me. At least... it look similar to cutting me out of his life!?
    Anyways, he doesn't reply to my messages, not that I keep messaging him so desperately... I also invited him over (on different days) and he declined both times and this is so not what he usually does...
    Why are you messaging and inviting him over after literally telling him he was wasting his time with you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpuppy View Post
    I definitely didn't expect that when I told him I'm not sure whether I want to move in with him that he would just disappear and...throw me out of his life. It's odd...after what we had...and I wasn't even breaking up with him even though we wasn't officially together..

    but oh well.. what can I do.
    What did you expect? That he'd stick around like a loyal puppy waving his tail waiting for your requests for attention?
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  3. #1293
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    What did you expect? That he'd stick around like a loyal puppy waving his tail waiting for your requests for attention?
    I think you've missed the point that moving in with a man [her boyfriend] conflicts with her values. So yes, it's reasonable for her to expect her man (that loves her) to respect her boundaries.

  4. #1294
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I think you've missed the point that moving in with a man [her boyfriend] conflicts with her moral values. So yes, it's reasonable for her to expect her man (that loves her) to respect her boundaries.
    Where did you read that? Are you sure you're not projecting your own values?
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  5. #1295
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Where did you read that? Are you sure you're not projecting your own values?
    Did you read her post?? That was what the entire post was about.

    EDIT: And I quote from Cloudpuppy...

    "I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday. I didn't say no, I just told him I'm not sure yet. Right after I said that his being changed. I could see it with my eyes. He became much more serious and less talkative. Later he told me he's just sad that he can't be with me. I told him that I haven't said that I just need to focus on my exams right now but I do care about him deeply and just because I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday doesn't mean I'll be like that forever. But... he still took my saying too seriously. I'm not kidding... the guy who used to be very friendly and lovely towards me, has turned to be as cold... "

  6. #1296
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cloudpuppy View Post
    Hey ENTPs!

    (I have had a thing with an ENTP for about a year now. We have known each other about 3 years though. Recently, I've became more busy with school because of upcoming exams. I haven't paid much attention to him due to that. Furthermore, in the last weeks I've been confused about my feelings towards him.)
    A few days before we had a discussion about us and I told him I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday. I didn't say no, I just told him I'm not sure yet. Right after I said that his being changed. I could see it with my eyes. He became much more serious and less talkative. Later he told me he's just sad that he can't be with me. I told him that I haven't said that I just need to focus on my exams right now but I do care about him deeply and just because I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday doesn't mean I'll be like that forever. But... he still took my saying too seriously. I'm not kidding... the guy who used to be very friendly and lovely towards me, has turned to be as cold as he used to be in the beginning. Not cold.. but rather ignorant or detached, I feel he closed the door and is now avoiding me. He's attitude towards me has changed. A lot. He doesn't even say hey or goodbye to me..
    So my question is: did he doorslam me? It's odd because... he loved me. Perhaps I'm too confident to say that but I'm 100% sure about it. And now it's just.... odd.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Did you read her post?? That was what the entire post was about.

    EDIT: And I quote from Cloudpuppy...

    "I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday. I didn't say no, I just told him I'm not sure yet. Right after I said that his being changed. I could see it with my eyes. He became much more serious and less talkative. Later he told me he's just sad that he can't be with me. I told him that I haven't said that I just need to focus on my exams right now but I do care about him deeply and just because I'm not sure whether I want to live with someone someday doesn't mean I'll be like that forever. But... he still took my saying too seriously. I'm not kidding... the guy who used to be very friendly and lovely towards me, has turned to be as cold... "
    You seem to be interpreting the post beyond what is explicitly written; my comment stands.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  7. #1297
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    You seem to be interpreting the post beyond what is explicitly written; my comment stands.
    Dear phobik, what difference does it make whether it's a moral value, a phobia, or a strong disinterest in shacking-up because she likes her privacy? No matter how you spin it, it's still reasonable to expect the person that loves you to act mature about it, respect your preference, and communicate.

  8. #1298
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Dear phobik, what difference does it make whether it's a moral value, a phobia, or a strong disinterest in shacking-up because she likes her privacy? No matter how you spin it, it's still reasonable to expect the person that loves you to act mature about it, respect your preference, and communicate.


    EDIT: He can walk, but communicate that; she doesn't deserve to be left hanging out on a limb and treated like less of a person because she's not ready to do what he wants her to do.
    Dear Nerd Girl,

    Everyone is free to have expectations, but not without a consequence. She stated her position, she got her feedback. The sole purpose of my post was sharing my POV on the described events. It was not to judge said feedback's morality. Anyway, I'm done with the off-topic discussion.

    Sincerely,
    phobik
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

  9. #1299
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    Quote Originally Posted by phobik View Post
    Dear Nerd Girl,

    Everyone is free to have expectations, but not without a consequence. She stated her position, she got her feedback. The sole purpose of my post was sharing my POV on the described events. It was not to judge said feedback's morality. Anyway, I'm done with the off-topic discussion.

    Sincerely,
    phobik
    I respect that.

    I'm detecting in her posts that there are some cultural factors at play, which I didn't account for, and can't account for without more data.
    Also, *she* might actually be a *he* and they might be a sassy gay couple.

  10. #1300
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I respect that.

    I'm detecting in her posts that there are some cultural factors at play, which I didn't account for, and can't account for without more data.
    Also, *she* might actually be a *he* and they might be a sassy gay couple.
    So having cultural factors affecting morality is bad but religious factors are ok ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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