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[ENTP] ENTPs- what's a good sign that I'm boring you?

BlackCat

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I often get self conscious when I'm talking to ENTPs on the internet or real life around this. I can never tell half the time whether you're really interested in hearing what I have to say.

You don't stick around and talk to people for long or pay their views any respect if they don't interest you, right?

I dunno, it's just a bit weird for me.
 

BlahBlahNounBlah

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I often get self conscious when I'm talking to ENTPs on the internet or real life around this. I can never tell half the time whether you're really interested in hearing what I have to say.

You don't stick around and talk to people for long or pay their views any respect if they don't interest you, right?

I dunno, it's just a bit weird for me.


I wouldn't worry about this on an encounter-by-encounter basis. I look at people based on a bigger picture of who they are, so it takes me a while to decide what I think of someone.

If I'm paying more than courtesy-level attention, I find the things the person says or does to be important. And anything that happens in one instance doesn't have an effect on that. I'm not going to decide I don't like someone or that they're boring because of one thing that happens.

If I think they're an interesting person, everything they say gets more weight. And I might not have an immediate comment, but that's more because I'm thinking about what they say ... not that I think they're boring.
 

Fluxkom

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BlahBlah has truth coming out of her mouth.
 

Amargith

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Don't worry about it, ENTs and STPs often vibe this out without even realizing it..i mean boredom, often combined with impatience. It usually has nothing to do with you, it's just that their state of mind at that point, and you're probably one of the 'tools' they're using to try and alleviate it (is my experience). Sometimes, it won't work and they'll leave soon after. Nothing personal, just a need to find a way to scratch that itch.
 

Qre:us

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You don't stick around and talk to people for long or pay their views any respect if they don't interest you, right?

This is a tricky one, as the answer is *not necessarily*.

Woe the curse of the Fe. Such that if we have a previous repertoire with each other, or friendship, I will 'fake' interest because I sense the other needs to really talk about it/wants to talk about it. And, put up with it too.

And, I'll find ways to connect whatever they're saying to something that I *am* interested in.

When I was younger, I had no problem telling people to bugger off. The statement, "You are boring me right now" was often uttered.

My first year residence roomie, on the first night I arrived (later than all other 1st years, as I purposely wanted to miss the Frosh week-let's all bond, bullshit), asked me if she and I could exchange these Q&As that they handed out, to 'get to know your roomie better'.

I looked at her, gave a pregnant pause, answered, "No," and turned off the light to go to sleep. I shocked her with my abrasiveness. She reminded me of this story many times after, in jest.

(^I wasn't intending to be a douche, it's just that I didn't think getting to know a 'roomie' would happen over a 30 mins Q & A exchange session as it would living with each other...so it was pointless)

I was also a bit of a prick...think House. I grew up and learned to explain myself.
 

Kasper

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For me if I'm bored I'll kill the conversation with a response that shouldn't be replied to and leave. If I don't respond at all it doesn't automatically mean I'm not interested though.

It goes like this: Effort required + Excitement factor = directly relational to response time.

I'm forever forgetting about conversations I've started online, really totally forgetting, if I don't answer straight away after reading something I generally forget about it for weeks or even months, this covers PMs, wall messages, threads and even my blog. Hell I created a thread a few days ago that people responded to and I read (and found interesting) then forgot to answer... :doh:

Basically the more time and thought I have to put into a response the greater the chance you won't hear from me for weeks, writing long posts and/or in-depth posts isn't something I enjoy doing so I put off until the perfect time, the perfect time rarely comes, so I forget.

I don't like doing things in half measures, this often results in me not doing things and while it is true that the more excited I am about something the greater chance I'll deal with it straight away, my failure to respond doesn't always mean I'm not interested.
 

Qre:us

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It goes like this: Effort required + Excitement factor = directly relational to response time.

I'm forever forgetting about conversations I've started online, really totally forgetting, if I don't answer straight away after reading something I generally forget about it for weeks or even months, this covers PMs, wall messages, threads and even my blog. Hell I created a thread a few days ago that people responded to and I read (and found interesting) then forgot to answer... :doh:

Basically the more time and thought I have to put into a response the greater the chance you won't hear from me for weeks, writing long posts and/or in-depth posts isn't something I enjoy doing so I put off until the perfect time, the perfect time rarely comes, so I forget.

I don't like doing things in half measures, this often results in me not doing things and while it is true that the more excited I am about something the greater chance I'll deal with it straight away, my failure to respond doesn't always mean I'm not interested.

This. All of this. THANK YOU for saying this. This is very, very true in my case....:doh:

Often, I leave responses that I know will take a good lassoing of my attention to address. Meaning, I want to go in-depth, give a long response. And, I'll try, but, get frustrated with my Ne getting ahead of me and my Ti [it's that interesting to me, meaning it has spurred in me wayyy too many associations/connected thoughts than I know how to present coherently to another]...so it sounds a lot more jumbled than how it presents in my head. Or how I want to convey it. So, I leave it for another time.

Tomorrow and tomorrow....
 

BlackCat

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Judging by the responses I suppose I'm doing pretty good. :)
 

Tamske

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I'm asking specific questions -> I'm interested.
I'm asking general questions -> I'm bored but I want to be polite.
I'm zoning out -> I'm sorry.
 

Bowie

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I'm asking specific questions -> I'm interested.
I'm asking general questions -> I'm bored but I want to be polite.
I'm zoning out -> I'm sorry.

Totally this.


I tend to forget about conversations too. Sometimes I'll read a message on facebook, click away, and totally forget I had to reply to it. I walk away from my computer a lot, and forget to put up away messages, etc. Some people get really offended when you don't respond to them right away :shock:
 

Totenkindly

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blackcat said:
ENTPs- what's a good sign that I'm boring you?

You would be like......
What ENTPs?

yeah, they never come into the thread!

(and you must be REAAAAAALY boring if you cannot get at least a throw-away line from a passing ENTP, they get their grubby little paws on everything for at least five seconds before ping-ponging elsewhere)

Trinity said:
I'm forever forgetting about conversations I've started online, really totally forgetting, if I don't answer straight away after reading something I generally forget about it for weeks or even months, this covers PMs, wall messages, threads and even my blog. Hell I created a thread a few days ago that people responded to and I read (and found interesting) then forgot to answer...

a-HA!!!
 
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It's important to differ "interested in topic" and "interested in person". That can be a real difference. Some interesting persons I really like have some boring topics and even the people I dislike can hold interesting conversations (when it happens, sympathy is growing).

First: (Des-)Interested in topic

Well, my Fe forces me to stay polite. And I stay polite. If I want to leave a conversation, I try to find some excuse, and sometimes I say directly, that I don't like to talk about that things we are talking about.

But if I am really interested, you will see that. My whole body language tries to consume you and I ask about logical things, I don't understand. Sonmetimes I will ask you about your feelings, but this has a logical backround - I want to see, how you react and behave.

If I am neutral interested, it's just smalltalk, and sometimes I try to talk about some things of me to find a common topic.


Second: (Des-)Interested in person

It's strange. But I can be interested in you as person, but not in the topic we are talking about. Then listening is very hard. If I am interested in you as person, I try to find a way to get a interesting topic with you. You can see it, when I change the topic regularly and ask about more facile things.

And it can happen, that I am really interested in person, but find no common topic. That can make me really sad. You can see this, when I am really quiet, and see it, when my face is turning sad.

Desinterested in person? That's equal. Then it's important, how interesting the topic is.
 

miss fortune

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If I keep changing the subject or start telling a story I've concluded you might not have anything interesting to say, but I'm giving you a fair chance to think of SOMETHING before wandering off.

If I answer with yes or no, I've probably decided that you're boring, but I'm being polite and not fleeing.

If I make an excuse and wander off, you probably HAVE bored me :)
 

tinkerbell

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You don't stick around and talk to people for long or pay their views any respect if they don't interest you, right?

.


If you talk in S type detail and drone on about some tiny point that has nothign much to do with anything except that is it exists....then there is NOTHING more dull....

If you talk abstract concepts ideas and streach their imagination.


A sure fire sign you are boaring them is when they start makign phone calls while you talk.

If they are doodling or similar they may be really focued on what you are saying.... they are freeing up a different part of there brain by doodling, allowing the ideas easier access into their melting pots.

Obviously if you are dull and unengaging then they may switch off and zone out on you - they may froth at the mouth of fall asleep.

To be honest I have that impact on S types... if I talk too much about intangibles, or maths or interesting stuff, they simply don't get it.... its why I don't like being too close to them.
 

Qre:us

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If you talk abstract concepts ideas and streach their imagination.

Yes.


A sure fire sign you are boaring them is when they start makign phone calls while you talk.

No. This is just rude behaviour, not ENTP related. It's lack-of-manners-related. I will never do this, regardless of how 'boring' the convo is. I'd rather excuse myself first.

To be honest I have that impact on S types... if I talk too much about intangibles, or maths or interesting stuff, they simply don't get it.... its why I don't like being too close to them.

Two ISTJs I know can run circles around me in how well they understand Math. It's even MORE interesting because the way they will relate it is not ramble about obscure theory, where other Ns seem to even trip over their own feet in explaining (showing they themselves do not really understand). But, these ISTJs teach me in such an elegant and simple way, that it becomes real-life applicable. Clarity.

Dude, you have some issues with S(tereotypes)....noticing a trend of your general posts over time.
 

BlackCat

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I actually think that getting more detailed would be "growing up" in a way for an N.
 

Tamske

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Okay. Is this the difference?

When an N says: "Ss are not interested in maths" he means "Most of the Ss are not interested in maths"
When an S says: "Ss are not interested in maths" he means "100% of the Ss are not interested in maths"

Really. We intuitives should learn to put this "most of the" or "generally" in front of our general observations.

Especially if we're talking about maths! Maths is the field where you've got to be precise. When you say "circles have a circumference of Pi times their diameter" you actually mean "100% of the circles have a circumference of Pi times their diameter".

Oh yes. Other signs.

I'm explaining things -> I find the subject interesting, I'm trying to find things out myself. I'm using you as a sounding board while I'm trying to help you.
I'm getting back to a previous topic -> I find previous topic interesting
I don't react to the squabbles in-between -> I don't find those squabbles interesting.
I'm not getting all defensive because you called me a crazy ENTP -> I'm a crazy ENTP :D
 

Cenomite

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I often get self conscious when I'm talking to ENTPs on the internet or real life around this. I can never tell half the time whether you're really interested in hearing what I have to say.

You don't stick around and talk to people for long or pay their views any respect if they don't interest you, right?

I dunno, it's just a bit weird for me.

If my responses sound like this:

"Uh huh"
"haha, yeah"
"yeah"
"yeah"
"uh huh"
"haha nice"
"yup"

etc. Or, if I'm making smalltalk with you. I hate smalltalk, and usually only do it to make a forced conversation non-awkward. Basically, if I voluntarily extend the conversation and get into it, I'm not bored. I try and bolt out of a crappy conversation asap.

EDIT: Also, if I initiate contact with you it means I'm not expecting to be bored, which in-turn means you haven't bored me in the past.
 
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